My evening was pretty eventful. And not in that, Oh how romantic way.

I had to stop at the store for my valentine's dinner, which I swore I was not cooking. I went to the store so we didn't spend a lot of money going out to eat and I ended up spending more. I did have to buy other stuff like cake mix for the bear and bread, eggs, milk, all that jazz.

Needless to say, the kids were on MAJOR sugar highs. I was about ready to cry in the store. I wanted to kill them both. I'm sending notes to both their teachers informing them that the next time the load my kids with sugar, they're taking them home. Then we got home and John was sleeping. The kids started to destroy the house while I brought in all the stuff. At this point, my mood had gone to the pits. I didn't want to wake up John cause I knew he was really tired and had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, so of course, I cooked dinner.

Then the stupid fire wouldn't light. So I'm now blind and have major lung damage from smoke inhalation from blowing on that thing for like a 1/2 hour.

Fast forward to 8pm. Ok, bed time YAYAY uhm Nick, did you do your homework? No. CRAP, go do your homework!! So he's in there doing it and Calli says, Can I have a piece of my candy before I go to bed. Sure, one tiny piece. I pull down the bowl to empty their candy in and Calli finds one of those squishy things in it. Remember these things? You squeeze it and it slips out of your hand? Yeah, well.....

They also EXPLODE!! So now Calli is crying covered in mess as is the floor and table. Nick is screaming hysterically (A.S. over-reaction) . So I'm telling her to get in the bathroom, Nick to shut up and get over it, grabbing towels to clean the mess and trying to keep the cats and dog away from it. Finish that, run in the bathroom, throw her in the tub and try to wash her as quickly as possible because she was already having a reaction to whatever the hell is in that thing. Calli has a weird skin condition where even the slightest thing will leave welts on her face. Her face was bright red, so I scrubbed really good. She was fine this morning. Ok, finally, got them in bed.

Now for the cake. I started that right after Survivor (that I missed 90% of). I am going to admit now that I had a complete Blonde Moment last night. I wasn't thinking clearly, I was just trying to get it done. I put the cake form together, no problem. Mixed the batter, easy peasy. Poured it in the form, a bit of a pain, but ok. Looked at it and said, wow, this takes a lot of batter. I'm gonna have to do another batch. Mix that up, pour it in. Good, filled, perfect. Put it in the oven, set the timer and waited.

Uhm.... did you know that cakes rise?


So, I'm like, ok, no biggie, we'll just pull all this stuff off (yummy snack). I let it cool and then went in for the unveiling. I opened it up, and the poor bear was headless. The butt section (which is at the top in that picture) was cooked perfect. The head... goo. I guess it would have worked really well if I only used ONE cake mix. Oh boy. Shop Rite, here we come!

So, anyway, buy the time that was done, it was 11:30, I was exhausted and my poor hubby didn't get any Valentine's nookie. Sorry babe.

Tomorrow - Come between 2:30 -3. We'll have snacky food for everyone. And I'm assuming that it will become game night? Let me know if that's not the case. But I figure, since everyone will be there already... Oh, and if you need directions, email me at flutterbyheaven@gmail.com.

Calli's party will be SATURDAY around 2:30-3. Come one come all. I'm attempting a Care Bear cake. If you see a sheet cake, you know that Happy Bear didn't make it.

I'm so glad I took off yesterday. It's a damn good thing. Besides the fact that we FINALLY HAVE INTERNET!! No more crap reception! YAYAY But, I went into the kitchen and heard a weird noise and wondered what the cats were into. But the noise was coming from the counter and there were no cats on the counter. Then, I look and see that the noise is the water that's dripping from my ceiling to my counter! My roof was leaking. Oh Joy! I cleared the counter and put some bowls out. About 1/2 hour later I realized that in the center of the ceiling we were getting a droop and a large spot. I called John.. "Uhm, you want me to put a hole in the ceiling or just wait for it to collapse" He was good with the hole. LOL If I hadn't been home, God only knows what would have happened.

Thursday Thoughts!

If you won a million dollars but told that you would die if you took it and would live if you didn't take the money...would you die a millionaire or stay normal forever?

Well, I think it would be stupid to take the money if I couldn’t enjoy it. I think I’d stay poor and hope that I inherit it from the fool that does take it and croaks.

Did your ass look good in my jeans or what?

I was told that my ass look really good in your jeans. I believe someone also mentioned something to the contrary. So… I’m pleading the 5th.

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the earth's core?

I should know this cause I have my real estate license. Hmmm Were you planning on checking out the core any time soon or can I get back to you on that one?


If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

My bed! No, scratch that. A comfortable bed. Surrounded by big fluffy blankets and pillows with gorgeous naked men standing all around me waiting at my beck and call with anything I could desire. Fanning me with big feathers (Cause we’re someplace warm of course) while they beg me to allow them the pleasure of pleasing me.

What is one talent or skill you don't have but always wanted?

I wanna be like Tim. I want his metabolism!!! That is a talent any girl would want. To eat and eat to your hearts content and never gain a stinkin pound. Aaahhh heaven.

If you were friends with someone who talked about you behind your back and you found out, would you still remain friends with me?

With you??? “remain friends with me”… Are you talkin shit Joss? Here is my theory on that. If you were truly my friend, then you would say all the bad stuff right to my face. You wouldn’t be some weak ass chick that just whispers behind my back. So technically you wouldn’t have been my friend in the first place. Just some looser trying to get attention because your jealous that my friends like me more than you.

If one of your children were sick and needed either your bone marrow for a transplant or stem cells from a siblings umbilical cord and you had a year to decide what would you do?

I would most likely do the bone marrow transplant. A little pain would be nothing to save them. Having another baby is way to risky for me and the baby. But I would do anything for my kids. But I think they would rather I live through whatever my choice would be.

Would you rather eat a hairy, rotten piece of fruit or a piece of chicken that just gave your friend food poisoning.

I think I’ll go for the hairy fruit. If I eat the chicken, I KNOW that it’s going to make me sick cause Shelly's over there puking. I’m not so sure about the fruit. It’s a long shot, but I’ll take it. I shouldn't be eating right now anyway. I should be holding Shelly's hair and praying the pizza guy gets here quick so I don't have to eat either!

Snow Day! We're home. They canceled school. The kids have no idea, but I'm not smoking... which means, I need to keep busy... which means, we're gonna be cleaning all day! YAYAY LOL I'm sure they'll be thrilled.

It's so crappy outside. The lovely white puffy snow we had yesterday is gone. It's all ice and slush and yuck and eeewww.

We get internet today!!!! YAYAYAYAY. I can't wait. What we have is sketchy at best. We'll see how many times it takes me to upload this. It'll be nice to just click and go instead of click... nothing, hmm, check connection, crap, lost connection, wait a second.... no, ok, get up, stand next to the window, move the thingy, nothing, move it again... OH WAIT, right there.. no, try again, oh ok, there is good, you have 10 seconds to click on the site you want before you loose it again. It's quite frustrating.

Ok, we were going to say that Calli's party is Saturday, but my mom is busy. ARG. Hmm. We'll figure it out. If it comes down to it, we could always make it next Saturday. I love having to plan things around 20 different people who all have "stuff" going on. You should all know by now that I expect you to be at my beck and call at ALL times. Jeeze!

Ok, what else.... I want a cigarette REALLY REALLY BAD!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

That's it I think.

It's Tuesday. I was planning to take a 1/2 day tomorrow because they're coming to install internet (yeah, we can stop stealing from the neighbors!) But from the way the weather report sounds, I'll probably end up taking the entire day. They're calling for lots of snow tonight and tomorrow morning. If that happens the school will delay or close and it wont be worth going to work. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Knowing my luck, I'll stay up really late thinking no work and then wake up to no snow and having to go in. BLAH.

Don't forget to send me questions for Thursday!!

Oh, most of you know this already, but here is the skinny on my "REALLY GOOD NEWS" I got a new job. !!! YAYAY I start March 17th. This is so exciting for me because the position is all from home! Making the same amount as I am now, but being able to take care of my kids. It's so unbelievable! I couldn't say anything on here until I gave notice at my current job which I did on my birthday. LOL Happy Birthday to me! I'll be here one more month and then I start my new life. I just can't wait!

Day 2 of no smoking. AAAHHHHhhhhhhh This sucks. I can't wait till it's all out of my system. I wish someone else would cheat so that I don't want to. See, cheating now, I would only have to pay out $12. I can spare that. LOL If others start to cheat... It'll get expensive. Someone cheat PLEASE!!!!

We are having a party at my house this weekend for Calli's 4th birthday. It'll be either Saturday or Sunday (not sure yet.) If Mommy wants to take the kids home with her after the party then it will be Saturday (that way we can go out Sat. night) if not, then it'll be Sunday afternoon. 2pm no matter which day. You are all more then welcome to come. Wanted to put it on here incase I forget to call someone. I can't believe she'll be 4. It's just crazy. Ug, now I have to go home and clean my house. Any volunteers to come over and help??? Anyone Anyone.. Bueller Bueller.

Ok, I have to go now. I think yesterday's blog drained me. LOL Have a great day folks.

Oh jeeze, what's wrong with me!

JOCELYN!!! I'm so sorry. Thank you too!! I was talking to you and Donna and Shell and lost track of my thank you people. Sorry sorry sorry. Thank you for being my new friend. Thank you for being you. Thanks for showing off your boobs. You know I love um! You rock girlfriend!! Kiss Kiss Love!

Really long today

I have the sneakiest, most conniving, most underhanded friends in the entire world. And I love them all the more for it.

Saturday night as you all know, we were going to Michelle's. Just for the normal poker night, hang out night, normal Saturday night. With a cake thrown in for my birthday. I called and asked if she wanted me to bring some chicken and tatoes instead of buying anything and she said sure. (I want my chicken back!!) I took a shower (THANK GOD) and got dressed in my normal Sat. attire. baggy sweats, slippers, a long sleave t-shirt and no bra. Nice and comfy. I walk down stairs and my husband is wearing dress pants, dress shoes and a nice shirt. Uhm, WTF? He's like, my jeans are all dirty. Wear sweats!. No, I don't wanna. This is fine. Now, my husband never really gets to dress nice, so on occasion he'll throw on something nice. So I really didn't think too much of it.

We get in the car and he pulls out his phone and is texting someone. I'm like, who you talking too. My husband is a horrible liar. He just gives me this smirk and is like, No one. I said, Uhm.. is something going on? Do we need to turn around so I can change? Or at least put on a bra? He said NO! Ok. whatever.

We pull up to Shelly's and I counted cars and it looked normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until John texts to say we're out front. hmm. ok. Then I see Shell run to the window. Hello, it's me. It's nothing fantastic. I'm here all the time. Glad you're excited to see me. LOL Dork.

So we go in. Say hello, blah blah blah. She says ok, get in the kitchen, we're starving. Ok. I walk in and look to my right and low and behold BETH IS STANDING THERE!! OMG OMG. I think I screamed and hugged her for like 10 min. I very rarely get to see her. I was so excited. Then I hear SURPRISE!! HUH?? what? Shell says, ok, so we don't need the chicken. HA They had all kinds of food and snacky stuff. They had planned a party behind my back!! I had no clue. Which means they did a really good job. Considering I'm really good at finding out secrets. Everyone kept their mouths shut for 2 WEEKS!! I'm really impressed.

Bethy was there, and Donna came later and I had a ton of well wishers who wanted to come but couldn't. It was totaly unexpected. I have more friends then I thought. LOL Although, someone could have told me to put on a freaking BRA!!! Jeeze! I borrowed clothes so it was ok, except that my boobs were in a shirt that was too small and they were trying to escape all night. LOL

My wonderful friend Donna gave me the Josh Groban Christmas CD that was actually my Christmas present. And THEN she gave me my birthday present!!! She got me a reading with my favorite psychic!! I'm calling today to book the appointment. AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh I love her.

Then Michelle rushed everyone to do the cake. I'm like, ok, it's really alright. LOL NO hurry. But about a millisecond after I blew out my candles she was slamming my presents down next to me saying "OPEN IT NOW IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS" Hee hee hee. She was REALLY excited about my present. Ok, Ok. I open the card to find all my favorite people in it. Family and friends all saying their best wishes. And as it turned out, who all contributed to my gift. I opened my present... and HOLY CRAP. I tried really hard not to say HOLY SHIT with the children in the room.

It seems that my bestest friend took my blog update email list and sent you all an email asking if you wanted to come to the party and/or chip into the gift. Sneaky bastards!

My wonderful, fabulous friends and family all chipped in to by me the Sony Reader. I LOVE this thing. Tim has one and I've been telling him to remember me as soon as he gets board of it. I wanted that thing so bad but knew that it was completely unattainable because it was atrosiously expensive. For those of you that don't know, it's a little hand held thing. Kind of like a palm pilot but about the size of a paperback book (just really thin). You can download hundreds of books on to it and read to your hearts content. Personally, I can read between 2-3 books a week. And that's a lot of clutter when you think about it. This way, it's all neet and convienent in this little book. I'm in love!! Thank you Thank you Thank you. To the following:

Rich - I love you so much. I wish you could have been there (don't you know I'm more important then out of town guests!) You're such a great friend. I'm so glad we've stayed in touch all these years.

SUSANNA!! - I can not believe you! I miss you guys so much. I swear one of these days we're gonna finally take a vacation and come see you. I was actually looking at the pictures the other day from our snow tubing. That was so much fun. And my husband has become less of an ass since then!! lol Thank you so much for being a part of my birthday even from 500 miles away. Love you!

Mommy - You know I love you and you're the best. I wish you could have been there too, but I'm glad you had a good time on your night out. You rock.

Joanne - Thank you my sister. I wish you were there, but I wouldn't have turned down a weekend at Ceasars either! I'm glad you had a great time. I love you man!

Aunt Irene - I ate and drank for you. No worries. I can't wait to come see you! Love you so much. Thank you for being a part of my life and keeping that side of my family with me.

Mark - You're such an awesome guy. Thanks for liking us. Although, I wish you were at the party, I'll catch ya next time. Give Gretchen a hug for me.

Laura - My dear sweet cousin. I'm so glad you've come back into my life. I'm thrilled that we've gotten to re-connect. It's scary that we have so much in common, but I love it.

Margaret - What can I say about you? That I love you. That you always tell me how wonderful I am and you believe it even if I don't. You're always there even if I'm not. I thank you so much. Thank you for being my friend, my mentor, my sister.

Chris - My dear sweet friend Chris. I wish you could have been there. But you know I understand. Thank you so much for being a great friend. You've always been open and honest with me which means a lot. We are gonna bust you out of that hole you live in and bring you out into the sunshine. And just remember, I'll always like you more than John. LOL

Bethy-la - You are so awesome. I'm so glad you could tear yourself away from all your work and your CPA studies to hang out with me. (Everyone cross your fingers that she passes the next examine so she can have a break!) And just remember, you have an open invitation for Saturday nights. Luv ya!

Eric & Liz - thank you so much for the extra gift so I can fill up my book. I would have just been reading the classics for quite a while. I can't wait to shop! I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you guys came to play.

Shelly, Tim and your fabo kids - You know how much I love you guys. I think I've told you over and over, but I'll say it again. You are our best friends. You keep me sane, you put up with my husband (even though he's tollerable now) and you keep us around. It means a lot to me. Thank you for being you. (Tim, I promise to try my best to hold my tongue about that thing that you hate me to talk about from now on. But I can't guarentee it since I always try to tell the truth and say what's on my mind. But that's why you love me. Love you man!)

John - I love you. I don't know what's been going on with us lately, but whatever it is, we need to keep it up. It's just been fabulous. Thank you for planning this party with all my friends.

I just want to tell all of you, the book is amazing!! Truly amazing. But knowing that I have this many friends and that you all wanted, "wanted" to chip in to get it for me means more to me than the gift itself. I thank you and I love you all more than words can say.

And now for my top 10 thoughts of the day:

1. Never pee into the wind

2. Cutting your nails before playing Egyptian Rat screw is politically correct.

3. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

4. A picture is worth a thousand words, especially if you're naked in it.

5. Try to never whisper to a friend of mine about me, at a table that's filled with my friends. Cause even though you think the others are drunk and won't hear... they aren't and they will. I promise you that I will not take as much offence as everyone else. Hell, you probably could say crap about me, directly too my face and I would laugh. But the others get pretty upset about it.

6. Virginity like a bubble, one prick, all gone

7. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo

8. Incoming fire has the right of way.

9. To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction. (I like that one)

10. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Last but not least.. My wonderful group of friends have all decided to quit smoking. Oh Lordy. Today is our first day and we have penalties in place. The first of us that cheats must pay the rest $2. It doubles for the next cheat or cheater. So far so good for me. We are poor and I have NO intention of having to pay out. To keep us all honest, here are the list of players:

Me
John
Michelle
Tim
Eric
Liz - starting next week
Jocelyn

If you would like to join our little wager, please let me know. We are on the honor system and we expect you to stick to it!!

Ok, now that it took me forever to write this, I have to get some work done. Love you all and have a great day.

YAYAY!! It took my bad sense of humor for my mother to finally admit that I'm adopted! Now tell me who my real father is!!

Yesterday was nice. Thank you all for your happy wishes. I was inundated with them yesterday.

I went home last night and my 2 bratty kids almost ruined my day. BUT, I treated myself to some sushi and got the rest of them McDonald's. "McDonalds... That'll shut um up!" Then John put them to bed and I watched Survivor. I can't believe that the biggest jerk of all... The one who everyone hates but who would have made the show good... TOLD them to kick him off!! WTF!! See ya later Johnny Fairplay. I'm sure the show will be better without you. Oh and HOT DAMN on Ozzie's new hair cut. (Looks like he gets layed in next week's episode. Right on Brotha!)

And that was it (except for below). I didn't get any presents (except for below), but that's ok. I'm going to try not to celebrate it anymore. I think I'm starting my mid life crisis. YAY! So from now on I'm counting backwards. I plan to be younger than my kids when they graduate college.

Party at Shell's house tomorrow night. Everyone's invited. Come do my last celebration with me. (Oh hey Shell, I'm inviting a bunch of people to your house tomorrow! It's not like they'll show up anyway. Even though I want them too)

If you don't continue to read... Have a great weekend folks. TTY Monday.


**** Adult Content to follow, if you don't want to hear about my sex life please do not read any further *****



Speaking of getting layed. hee hee hee. We had AMAZING sex last night. I'm surprised the police didn't show up with all the screaming. I'm shocked that the kids didn't wake up. I don't have the quietest orgasms. LOL It was quite the birthday present. Even when I said "stop, please I can't take anymore" He continued. Holy Macaroni. Completely amazing. And he was so excited that we had to change positions a couple times to avoid him puncturing my lung. Very Very satisfying. Happy Birthday to ME!!

Request

Ok folks... do me a favor. If you're going to post a comment... SIGN YOUR NAME!! It drives me NUTS that I don't know who's writing me.

Someone sent me a flower for my birthday... There's only one person that calls me Kay, so it might be him. I'll have to call and find out. But how am I supposed to say thanks? EDIT*** I was right.. Thank you Tim!

Plus some people post things that are personal that I would only understand if I knew who was posting it... needless to say most of the time I'm like ... Huh???

I want you ALL to post comments. A lot of them. Just sign your damn name. Thank you and good night!

Thursday Thinkers

Happy Birthday to Ieashia... Happy Birthday girl! (we were born the same day and the same year. We're TWINS!! Well, except for the fact that I'm a white girl and she's a Big Beautiful Black Woman! Love YA

Happy Birthday to Garth Brooks. He's a bit older, but damn, I'll be your birthday present and you can be mine. Let me melt into those blue eyes and become a puddle at your feet when you sing to me. I promise I'm better in bed than Trisha. I'll be happy to throw her ass out for you.

Happy Birthday to Me. I'm 33. But I'm going to stick with 23. There were no roses at my desk today, no flowers at all. Ho hum. But I did get a lovely card from Hubby. And almost drowned in all the birthday wishes from all of you. Thank you all!

And now for the Thursday Thinkers...

(Donna wins the prize for most questions!)

What is the worst lie you ever told your Mother? - Mom

Any lie I ever told my Mommy has already been rectified. It was fun when I was older to watch her face when I told her the truth about everything. It’s not like she could punish me years after the fact. HA Like – Hey Mom, remember how we always talked about our friend Bob and how we were always hanging out with him? Well, Bob was a code name for pot. Those were the nights we were smoking up. – Hey Mom, remember in like my sophomore year I said I was sleeping over Bev’s and we were going roller skating? Well, we actually went to a college keg party and I got so drunk I threw up all night long (that was the night I realized I really didn’t like drinking). But in the years since, I have never lied to my Mom. Why bother, I’ll end up telling her the truth anyway. It’s not worth the trouble.

If you were raped and got pregnant, would you keep the baby? - Donna

No, I would most likely abort. 1. Because my body doesn’t do pregnancy well and it would probably kill me (literally). 2. I don’t think a child would want to be born into a life like that. Eventually they would ask questions and you’d have to tell them. I wouldn’t want them to think their life came to be because of something horrible.

If Barrack Obama picks Hillary Clinton as his Vice President, would you still vote for him? - Donna

You think I’m voting?? HA, you’re funny. It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference who we vote for. It’s basically picking someone to sit, look pretty and make lots of money for a couple years. But, I should say that to have the first female and first African-American in the white house at the same time would be really cool.

If you saw someone stealing something major from work (not pencils, or paper) - maybe like a laptop or something, would you tell? – Donna

Depends on if I liked the person! And if he was gonna snag anything for me!

If you are in a parking lot and run into a car, which puts a noticeable scrape on the car, but no real damage, do you leave a note or drive off? - Donna

Sorry, I can’t find a pen!


You get extra change from a store cashier, do you give it back? Does it matter how much change? Does it matter if she mistakes a $1 for a $10 bill giving you actually more than you gave her? - Donna

Uhm, I’m sorry, have we met?? I’m poor as hell. If someone gives me the wrong change, I just figure they’re giving to the needy!!

You won the lottery and have to go away to California to claim the money, but you must be there a certain day and that is your daughter's wedding. Do you miss the wedding to get the money? or do you miss the money to go to the wedding? – Donna

Seriously?? We’re gonna tape the wedding! I’ll watch it later! Duh, that one was easy!


Amazing Race or Survivor? - Donna

Survivor all the way baby! The new season starts on my birthday!! YAY Amazing Race is cool too, but I’ve never missed a Survivor.

Which of the above would you rather be in? – Donna

I would love to do Survivor because I would loose a lot of weight. I was going to say Amazing Race because you get to go all over the world and see so many places, but they are in such a hurry, you don’t get to take anything in. So, I’m a Survivor all the way.

Which would you rather eat-- a cockroach or a tail-less scorpion? – Donna

Who cares, as long as they’re dipped in chocolate.

What is wrong with all my coworkers? They want everyone to get involved with activities (social activities committee) and then when it comes time for the setup - they all get so pissy because its so much work and they have not enough time to do their own work!! (we are having a stupid-bowl tail gate party at work today for lunch with chili and hot dogs and other gross foods). That’s why I am not on that committee. – Rich

Ok, I think that was more of a rant then a question, but I’ll see what I can do…. If they were stupid enough to sign up for the committee, that’s there problem. If they start bitching at you about it, tell them to quit the committee. And if you get stuck with their work… I believe you’ve got some boss status over there, FIRE THEM! Or at least tell them they have to stop doing the stupid parties. As for the parties themselves, live it up kid. It’s free food and a break from work. Go have some fun. (Ha, I was gonna say for once, but I know you too well.)

Wednesday SUCKS!

Ok, it probably doesn't, but I overslept this morning. Which means I yelled at the kids. Got overly angry. Didn't get to shower. No time to make coffee and no money to buy any, so I have to drink the crap here which is basically like drinking dirty burnt water. Yelled at Nick. Yelled at Calli. Yelled at the dog. Yelled at John and he wasn't even home. I called to yell at him. But he deserved it (went through my freaking pockets to take the check card to use and it doesn't have any freaking money on it, which is how we always end up in debt! Ass)

So, now I'm trying to call the school so I can appologize to Nick and the phone is like off the hook or something.

I'm so tired. I just couldn't get up this morning. And then when I did get up it was a bad idea. Not just for my mood, but for my body. My left arm and leg feel like I pulled every freaking muscle. I can barely move them. I need a new bed!! We have one of those Select Comfort beds. Horrible. The thing is so freaking uncomfortable. Boy... it's gonna be one of those days. I suggest everyone stay away from me today.

I need to call the dr. and get her to refill my rx. I know that's why I'm being so bitchy and probably why I'm tired. I'll do it today, actually... please hold..... Ok, done. Now I just have to hope they put it through in the next day or so.

The school's line is still off. It's doing a busy signal, but the quick one that says it's disconnected or something. Hmm, should I worry?

Oh, I got my first birthday card yesterday. Thanks Beth!! I love you man! Glad my blog makes you smile. I still find it hysterical that you always remember my birthday. I get a card and then go OH CRAP, her birthday was last month! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Don't ever think that I don't love you (and this is to everyone) I don't remember anyone's birthdays!! My mom has to call and remind me to call my sisters on their birthdays. I was good this year, I remembered Joanne's without help. Unless you call and say, Hey, my birthday is tomorrow... I wont remember. And I probably will forget why you called by the time we hang up. BUT, I do know your birthday is in the begining of January. And I'm sorry I missed it. Hope Mike was good too you. He better have been or I'll kick his butt. He's knows I can do it too. I'm way bigger than him!

Anyway, off to figure out what the hell my boss is talking about. I screwed up something in Colorado. Oh well. Told ja. It's gonna be a lovely day.

I would like to appologize to the people who got pissed that I blew the House episode. But watch it anyway. It was really funny. And a surprise ending that I didn't say in my post.

Today's topic.... I have no idea. Uhm... Let's see. Shit, I don't have anything to talk about today.

Today is voting day. No interest (I know I know, Donna already yelled at me about my patriotic duty. Blah Blah blah)

Today is Fat Tuesday. Totally interested, but really really far away. Called Val in MS and she's actually at work. The big fool!! She's a freaking hour away from New Orleans and she isn't going. BIG ASS LOSSER!! How fun would that be. That is on my list of things to do before I die. I just wanna walk through the streets with my saggy boobs hangin out. And try to get all the beads I can. Just have a good ole' time. I just told her that next year I'm gonna be down there. We are gonna paint the town!! She told me to make sure I had bail money.

Donna said to talk about my birthday. There's really nothing to talk about. It's a birthday. I'm older now and none the wiser. But I am determined to have more fun this year. We'll see how that works out.

She also said V-day. (I asked her for topics) I'm not a huge Valentine's day fan. John always forgot to get presents for birthdays and V-day. But he has gotten much better in the past couple of years. We just haven't had money for gifts. As for the day itself.... don't get me wrong. I LOVE to get flowers. I know a lot of girls say "why by flowers, they just die" Screw you. I want flowers! I want real flowers. None of these 3 bunches for $10 at the grocery store. Although, those are nice for "just cause I love you" flowers. But not for birthdays, anniversary, or V-Day. I want FLOWERS! ROSES damnit. (I hate lillys) The only problem with that is my birthday and v-day are close together so roses always cost a freaking fortune. So if he did by them I would be pissed that he spent that much money. I know. I'm deranged. I can't help it. It's like going to Wally World and filling my cart with a bunch of stuff I want and then getting to the counter and pulling 90% of it out and putting it back. Makes no sense.

Ok. That's it. I don't feel like typing anymore. Have a great day.

I stayed up till midnight for a BROKEN TOE??? Are you kidding me???

Needless to say, we went to Shell's on Saturday and didn't get to bed until 5am. The kids forced me up at 9:30. Mamma wasn't a happy camper. I did get to take a nap in the afternoon, but still felt like I was hit by a truck.

* Side note* Why is it that I can get completely wasted and stay up to stupid hours and then wake up the next day feeling great. But if I just stay up to stupid hours and don't drink... I feel like I drank all night? Huh? WTF

Anyway, we went to Joanne's (sis) for the "Big Game" Normally I am not a football fan, but we were raised on the Giants and if they get to the Super Bowl, it's a big deal. My sister is still a huge fan. She watches every game. I'm one of those folks who only watch the commercials cause they are way cooler. But this year I actually watched the entire game. And Hot Damn, what a game. To pull it out in the last freaking 35 seconds is unbelievable!! GO GIANTS!

Ok, back to the toe. They kept showing the commercial for the House episode that was going to come on right after the game. Well, of course "right after the game" didn't turn out to be until a little after 11pm. So, I stayed up to watch it. I usually don't watch that show, but it was really good. It was actually really funny. BUT!! To go through all that.. to have a collapsed lung, swollen nodes, a freaking hole drilled in your brain and it turn out to be nothing more then a freaking broken toe!! SO not worth staying up until midnight. Because the truck has hit me again. My entire house will be in bed by 7pm. Calli didn't go to sleep till 10:30. I warned her day care to look out for the monster cause it was rearing it's ugly head this morning.

So my birthday is Thursday. Ho hum. Another year older, another 5 pounds (cough-yeah right-cough) heavier, and still deep in debt. Oh joy of joys. Shelly asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I realized... I don't ever want anything. Not anything normal anyway. Maid service, $10 million, wood to last us through the rest of the winter, a trip to my psychic, an entire new wardrobe (mine makes me feel really old), all my bills paid, a new bed, to magically loose 75 pounds overnight. LOL Ok, so realistically, there's really nothing that I want or need. (That would be just for me at least). I guess it's because my memory sucks. I see things that I "want" and then by the next day, I forget. I got my Garth CD and the new Harry Potter for Christmas. That's all I really wanted. I would like an upgrade on my diamond earrings to a 1/2 carat, but that'll have to wait cause we can't afford it. But other than that.. nada

So, if anyone wants to give me something... give me time with you. We don't get enough of that these days. Gifts are fine, but they don't last. Memories last a lifetime (unless your me and forget everything, but we can take pics which will help me remember.) I want my friends and family around me laughing and having a great time. That's what I want for my birthday. Oh, and throw in some great nookie for good measure. hee hee

TGIF

I was gonna put some funny pics on here, but it just looks like too much work and I'm tired and it's yucky out. So, F it.

About 7pm last night I started to get a headache. I HATE taking pills, so at about 9:30 I went to bed to sleep it off cause it was getting really bad. By 11:45 I was still awake. Lying there holding my head. Finally fell asleep and Calli woke me up crying that she peed her bed. WONDERFUL. I was not about to get up. I told her to just change her undies and then she crawled into bed with us. Well, actually, with me. I had kicked John so many times over the past hour to shut up (snoring) that he decided to sleep on the couch. Hee hee hee.

I lost my freaking phone again this morning. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to have no memory?!?! Took me 1/2 an hour to find it under a pillow and that was after I got on the computer and texted John to call me. When you don't have a house phone, you can't call it to find it. Very VERY aggrivating.

I wanna go home. I just don't wanna be here. I don't want to go through this huge pile of mail. YUCK.

Shelly, are we doing anything tonight? Let's do something fun. Hell, let's just do something. I hate rainy days. It's just so depressing. Why is that? Why are more suicides commited on rainy days? I'm sure it has to do with the sun bringing warmth and light into our lives, blah blah blah... sunglare, sunburn, sun stroke. What ever. All good things have a bad side.

I'm babbaling today. Sorry folks. OH I HAVE NEWS!!

My sister called and said that the spinal tap came back and get this.... showed NO signs of MS. Can you believe that!?!?! They said she definetly had it because of all the lesions on her brain, but as of right now... she's cured!! WTF!! We're all kind of in shock. They took her off all her MS meds and they want to run it again in 6 months to make sure that the meds weren't screwing up the test. They told her that the damage that had already been done will not get better, but she most likely wont get worse. It's a freaking miracle. We just don't know what to say. It's really bizarre. They actually think the MS meds she was taking could have been causing her attacks and pain. It's just un-freaking believable. So ladies and gentlemen, BELIEVE. Miracles do happen.

And on that happy note... Hasta Luego

You all SUCK!! I only got one question!

"What have you done in your life that you're most ashamed of?" – Laura

I really don’t think I’m ashamed of anything I’ve done in my life. I’m ashamed of letting my body get this big! That’s about it. I probably could have been nicer to people, even ones I didn’t like. That’s something to be ashamed of I guess. But I try to think before I act, so if I do something it usually isn't something I'll be ashamed of later.

I expect WAY more questions for next week people!

Back at work today. Is it the weekend yet?? I wish. Calli went back to school today. You would still never know the kid was sick. I'm waiting though because all my friends and their kids have a stomach flu. Cross your fingers that it stays out of my house!!

All our tax stuff is in (except for mine of course. Explain to me how my husband gets all the w-2's for all of the 300 freaking jobs he's had this year and I don't get my ONE!) Anyway, so we got MOST of them, so I'm starting that ASAP. We need that money bad. We have to pay back Shell and Tim the money we owe them (that we've owed them for way too long) and I want to get my bills on track. I cleaned up a lot of them when we got the broken ankle money, but there's still a lot sitting. And of course the freaking mortgage is behind again. AARRGGG.

I'm still all boogie-fied. It just wont go away. I bet I'm allergic to the cats. Oh well. My kids would hate me forever if I got rid of them. And I don't want to anyway. They are great entertainment. They're the funniest things ever. They stalk each other - and the dog for that matter. The dog thinks they're great little toys. She's gonna get her eyes scratched out one of these days, but hey, she'll learn her lesson.

What else... I think that's it. Questions folks, don't forget the questions. They can be about anything. Ya gotta help me out here. If I'm gonna write this every day for your entertainment, you can at least supply some of it! Jeeze!

Sorry for the delay folks. I'm home today with a sick kid. Calli complained yesterday morning that it hurt her neck when she yawned and when I looked at her throat, her tonsils were huge. I checked her again after school and they had those lovely white spots all over them. Took her straight to the doctor who of course said Strep! Arg. So she had to be out a day. Of course you would never know this kid is sick. She's bouncing all over. She's changed her clothes 3 times in the last hour and put on every pair of shoes she owns. She's quite the princess.

The other part of the delay is that we are stealing internet from the neighbors and it doesn't always work. It's kind of luck of the draw. I'm hoping it will let me post this.

I can't find my phone which is REALLY aggravating. We don't have a house phone so I'm cut off from the world. Shelly... I'M HOME. I know I had it last night to show John something. Then I had it by the computer.... then... I don't remember. CRAP! Of course it's probably on vibrate, so I can't hear it. I don't think it is though. I remember hearing it last night. Ok folks, everyone start calling my phone, maybe I'll hear it!!

I'm a little disappointed folks. I've only got one question so far for tomorrow. What's up with that?? Maybe it's because you all know me so well already. HA. Like I said, I'm an open book.

Calli is having a nice conversation in spanish with Dora. This kid is going to be bi-lingual before she's 5. I really should learn spanish. I can kind of understand it, but I can't speak it without asking if you want to eat that tire with sun under the library. Not quite the conversation starter.

It's starting to snow. I have to go bring the dog in. Have a good day folks. And email me so that I don't feel so alone today. lol flutterbyheaven@gmail.com

Over 1000 hits!!

My blog has had over 1000 hits. That's so cool!

Thursday's blog I'd like to do a little different. Another blog I read does a Sunday shout out where she answers questions from her readers. Since I can't blog on the weekends, I figured I would do a Thursday Shout Out.

So throw your questions my way. You can either post it in a comment or send it to my email. flutterbyheaven@gmail.com

We've been watching that new show... hmm can't remember - To tell the truth? Something like that. Where you get hooked up to a lie detector. I would SO win at that. Anyway, my point was, don't be afraid to ask anything. I'll be honest! (maybe) Can't wait to see the questions!

I'm stealing from Donna today. She sent me an email with Ponder-isms in it. I am a huge fan of Gallager (the comedian guy that splatters watermelon all over people) and he used to do these things all the time. Ya know, why do you park in a driveway and drive on the parkway kind of things. So here are some Ponder-isms with my commentary added.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Is it only presidents that get to be assassinated? Or maybe just political folk? I hope this blog gets so big that if someone takes me out they'll put assassinated on my tomb stone.

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Where do you think all that change in the couch comes from?? As it builds up, it changes to dimes and nickles.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Oh crap, I hope not. Because knowing my mother's taste, she'll dress me in something hideous. (Cause of course, Mommy's never allowed to die, she must live forever). Just bury me naked. It'll give St. Peter a good laugh. (Although, I'm probably not going that way) So the clothes will most likely just burn off. Why bother.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Cause you can't see the guy on the other street flashing the hookers when you're on the ground. You need to be up high for that bird's eye view.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Ok, so the size of my damn panties... it HAS to be plural. But bra should definitely be plural. There are TWO of them damnit. But I guess if you loose on in a freak accident, bra in the singular would be ok.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? I CARE. I REALLY CARE. It's very important to know what Jimmy is up too. So what if the guy that wrote the song didn't care. WE DO.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? I think this completely qualifies as 2 people in the car. The law doesn't saying anything about both people being able to breath.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? I think this is a long standing argument. Just remember people... there is book smart and common sense smart. Our dear professor was book smart. So making the radio was brilliant.... realizing that they could have been off the island 5 years ago if they shoved some of that coconut in the hole... takes common sense.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Don't worry... I'm as big of a dork as you are. I sat there and sang them and THEN read the next line. Were the folks who wrote those songs not able to find a musician? Did they just say "Ah, fuck it, just use the music from that other stupid song we wrote last week. No one will notice"

HELP!!

Real quick....

I need to put in a Mary Kay order by the 31st so that I can stay active. If I don't, I loose the business partners I have. I just haven't had time to work the business right now, but I don't want to loose what I already have!

So if ANYONE wants to order ANYTHING, please click on the link in the top left corner and order stuff. If you get the order in by Thursday morning, I'll give you a MASSIVE discount!! MASSIVE I tell ya!!!

Thanks all.

When you go to brush your daughters hair in the morning and you notice that the side of her head has a HUGE mat... you know that something is up. Especially since her mats are normally on the back of her head -**jeeze, I put nails on and I can barely type now - anyway**... So as I'm trying to brush through it she says... "I cut my hair all by myself mom!" Choke, Gag, WHAT??? What are you talking about?? Then I look at the hair brush and notice that it's filled with her hair.

Some time yesterday she must have grabbed my scissors off the counter. BAD MOMMY left them there. She now has a bald spot on the right side of her head that's about the size of a dime. And the rest of the right side is in lovely layers. She looks like she went through a weed wacker. I'm so pissed. It was FINALLY growing in from when Nick cut it. My poor little girl is never going to have hair.

On a happier note... The fucker-ware party went great. Well, it went great for us. I think the demonstrator lady was getting totally fed up with us. We were all pretty toasty about half way through. Ok, so not so long ago, I told a friend that I very rarely drink.... and since then, I drank twice. LOL, Now that I write it, it doesn't sound as bad as it did in my head. I was thinking to myself that it must sound like such a lie. I probably sound like a drunk. But alas, no. I got a little buzz one night a couple weeks ago.

Friday... well Friday I was fall down ass drunk. Something I have not been in probably 5 years at least. Jocelyn made something called a rum punch which I had a few of. Yummy Yummy. But dangerous. The main culprit would have to be the jar of maraschino cherries soaked in southern comfort. I think I ate a little more then half the jar and drank all the juice/booze out of it. Hmm, about that... don't do it unless you are with good friends who don't care if you get stupid. And unless you are prepared to ignore you husband who gets pissed because you get stupid. BITE ME! As you all know I am VERY good at ignoring him.

It was fun to be stupid. I'm always the DD, always the responsible party to take care of the kids, always the one drinking coffee. My biggest problem is that I get REALLY flirty when I drink. We were over there again Saturday night and no one said I did anything bad. LOL I'm pretty good. I usually always remember everything I do. I do remember giving Mark a back rub on the stairs (which was no big deal)... But I think I remember holding his leg sometime later? Did I do that? That might have been when Jocelyn and I were on the Sumo spooning. I think I was holding his ankle. HA, you should see my face right now. It's all scrunched up trying to remember. Anyway, sorry Mark. LOL

Thanks for the good time Shell and Tim! You rock. For a good time call Shell and Tim 973-555-1234. HA Had to do it.

Ok, I think I wrote enough for today. Have a day!

2nd Friday post

My fabulous Aunt sent me this in response to the below post and I HAD to share. Now you know where I get my sense of humor from.

My unnecessary (and useless) comments on today’s blog that I need you to know:

Aunt Irene’s life wisdoms

…if he has a gun (size and age doesn’t matter) as long as he knows what to do with it!

…if you think Ray Liotta is getting to old - you need to know (size and age doesn’t matter) as long as he knows what to do with it!

…spiked cherries (size and age doesn’t matter) older is better!

…when your stupid OR an alcoholic (size and age doesn’t matter) you never know what to do with anything!

BUT

…if you are a dildo (size and age matters!!!) lol

Love,
The aunt

Every Friday morning when I come into the building, the security guard is BLASTING the Bee Gee's. Stayin' Alive! lol. It cracks me up. I swear he has it on a loop because I always seem to come in at the same part of the song. Interesting choice of songs.... lol

Speaking of security guards... Some one please tell me how a 65 year old man who is about 5'5 and walks with a limp is supposed to "protect" us? How are they going to stop some crazed person from coming in the building?? Or get a crazed person OUT of the building for that matter. Oh, here's the best one.... they have a sign on their desk that says if it's dark outside, they would be happy to walk us to our cars. LOL I don't think that would make me feel safer. Cause I know there is no way in hell that he's going to be able to protect me. In fact, if anything, I think I would have to protect HIM. Makes no sense to me. Although, I guess I could throw him at the bad guy and give myself more time to run.

Heath Ledger died. How sad is that? Of course the media circus has him as some crazed drug addict that killed himself. "We found 8 different prescriptions in his apartment" Yeah ... So? I think I have like 15. Doesn't mean I'm taking them all at once! Idiots. It just means they're there. I have a feeling this was an accident. Some were saying he had pneumonia, so that mixed with some funky sleeping pill... ya never know. It's just such a shame. I had every intention of sleeping with that man before I died. I didn't know how ... But the intention was there. I was totally in love with him. Oh well. I still have Ray Liotta. Although... he's getting old. Hmm...

Ok so anyway. My kids depart at 5:30 this evening!! WOO HOOO!! It's that mean? Am I a horrible mother??? Screw it. Let me be a horrible mother. I need a freaking break! I wish it was a weekend on a sunny beach with blue water... but, I guess this will have to do. Dildo's, spiked maraschino cherries and 10 degree weather. Ho Hum.

OH, spiked maraschino cherries... I LOVE them. A little too much. I ate half a jar one night and drank half the juice/booze. Hee hee hee. Let's just say I got stupid! But hell, I never drink. It's a rare occasion that I actually feel like it. I guess because I came from an alcoholic family, it just doesn't do it for me. But sometimes, you just wanna feel stupid. Knowing me, I'm sure I'll have one or two tonight and then go to coffee. I'm such a looser. Oh well.

Ok, off to try to make this day fly by... hopefully. Have a great weekend all!

Michelle would like to invite ALL of you to her house on Friday night for the Fucker-ware party. If you are interested, please email me and I'll give you directions. flutterbyheaven@gmail.com

Ahhh, my sweet friend Valerie posted a comment yesterday. YEAH VAL!! She's my Mississippi gal. I know you can't tell, but I'm typing with a twang! Every time I talk to her I feel myself slipping into that deep south way of talking. I LOVE her!

We started talking because I do the Sales and Use taxes for my company for the state of MS and she works for the state. I called her to ask something, and I think by the second phone call, we were buddies. NOW, I can only call her when I have about an hour to spare. We get on the phone and can't shut up. Not to mention that we get laughing and REALLY loud. A couple weeks ago we were on the phone and she starts saying OH SHIT. What??? What's wrong??? HA, her boss had sent her an email saying, What's going on in there? Who are you on the phone with? You need to keep it down, blah blah blah boss talk blah blah. So I told her to blame it on me. AND SHE DID!! She sent him an email back saying, I'm on the phone with Kaylene from Avis. It's all her fault. She'll be happy to call you and apologize for getting me in trouble. HA Gotta love her.

She is trying to save up some money to come and visit me!!! I can't wait. She wants to go to the city. THAT will be a blast. I think that requires a trip to hmm, lets see.... Harlem, Queens, a couple of strip clubs maybe! LOL I can't wait to see her little God Fearin' face.

Ah, yes, that's the other thing. She's trying desperately to "Save" me. LOL We've had LONG debates about God and the bible. It always seems to come out a draw. Both of us laughing hysterically. I don't think she'll ever stop trying though. Damn that Bible Belt!

She's also trying to get me to move to MS. And although you can get a house there DIRT cheap, I'm a bit afraid a hurricane's and I'm also afraid of the wrath of Michelle. I think she'd kill me if I moved that far!

Val, I can't wait till you come up here!! It's gonna be a BLAST!!

Ewww, I just put on hand cream and I think it's a bit old. It smells. YUCK. Now I have to go wash my hands... TTFN

John got a job! Finally! He started this morning. Unfortunately we're really behind in bills now. Pray for fast tax return info!

Wood came last night. YAYAY. Of course John was so excited he got the thing pumping and we were all melting.

What else... hmmm, not really much going on. I'm trying to clean up my mess at work. I have a ton of mail to go through that's just been sitting here. I hate mail. It's always bad news. Like you owe us money or you didn't file your return or something or other.

UG, we have this new chick at work... Oh lord. She can NOT get through a day without talking to herself, or her computer, or her mail. She yells at her mail. Of course she sits right next to me. Now, I totally know that I am a very loud person. I always have been. And when I'm on the phone, everyone knows what I'm talking about. But that's it. Otherwise, I keep pretty quite and too myself. She, on the other hand, keeps us all informed of her daily doings. No one CARES!!! Don't get me wrong, she's a nice enough person, but it gets very annoying. I finally got her to stop cursing, so that's at least a step in the right direction.

Ooooo, Friday night!! NO KIDS!! Mom's coming to pick them up for the night and we're going to Shelly's for a Fucker-ware party!!! Wooo Hooo. I have an annual one every year in November and after mine, she wanted all the free stuff too, so she planned one. Which is cool, cause it gives me more free stuff! If you don't know what kind of party it is... well, it's one of those that you can get nice lingerie and then go to the other side and get dildos, anal beads, swings, hand cuffs, pretty much any completely nasty, kinky thing you can think of. And don't roll your eyes or be grossed out, cause let me tell you something... if you never tried it, you don't know what you're missing! It'll be nice not to have the kids for a night. Woo Hoo - oh yeah, I said that already.

I don't want to deal with this mail... someone else come do it for me. Why can't I just do all the returns and someone else do all the other crap? Ho hum. All right all right ALL RIGHT!! I'm going. :o(

People People, relax! That list of things to do wasn't in any particular order! It was just how it came out of my head. Sorry!! Jeeze!

So this weekend we did a game night at Shelly's on Friday. Game night/morning. We didn't get to sleep till about 4:30 AM. I'm too old for this crap! But, it was really fun. We got to hang out with their friend Mark who is really cool. Most of the time we see him in passing and don't really get to socialize. I'm glad we did. It was a blast. Her friend Jocelyn (I know I butchered that) was there too. I'd only met her once and she was a kick. They tried desperately to beat me in the tv version of Scene It. Sorry folks, I am the Queen. BUT, that's only because I'm seriously boring and have no life. I have spent most of my life watching tv. It's very sad.

I'm so boogie-fied. Ever get that way? Where you just feel the need to constantly wipe, blow and pick (if absolutely necessary - cause ... EEeewww) I HATE that. It just feels all crusty. Yuck.

Oh, yeah, so we froze our asses off this weekend. We ran out of wood and everyone we called was out. We tried burning some logs John had picked up, but they were way too green and were just smoldering. The kids and I spent yesterday snuggled on the couch under blankets cause we couldn't get it over 55. Aaahhh. I FINALLY found someone last night that has wood! He's coming today. WOO HOO.

So have I told you that my stupid husband is trying to kill himself? I need to take out some more insurance on him! He went for a physical yesterday and his blood pressure was 170 over something! He was told to take blood pressure medicine and he hasn't been taking it. He said "I feel fine" Ya, uh huh... that's what most people say before they drop DEAD!! 35 years old ... if he keeps it up, he'll have a heart attack before he's 40. GENIUS that he is. (Daily John rant over)

Still have work to finish, so I'm off for now. Have a great day.

Ok, we're going with "the cat killed the bird by scaring it to death".... we think. I checked and there was a little bit of water and seed in there. Plus the fact that my mother (President of a bird club) almost had a heart attack when I said I did it. "My God, what will my bird club members think!" LOL

OOoooooohhhhhhhh... The really good thing... It all panned out!! YAYAYAY. BUT, I still can't say anything yet. Just in case. Just a couple more weeks folks and I promise you'll have the full story. (It's killing you not knowing ... isn't it??!!)

Nick is on his meds!!!! YAY. His teacher sent home a note "Much better behavior today" LOL Of course! I love his teacher. She's just a really cool down to earth chick and she knows how to deal with the kids. She'll have him next year too! She teaches first and second. We love you Ms. Jackson!

Shelly's birthday is on Sunday! Everyone sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!

We were supposed to go to Atlantic City for her birthday, but we got way too poor. Hopefully we'll be able to go next month after we get our taxes back. I've only been there once, but I really liked it. This time I want to do dinner and a show too. I've always wanted to do that. I REALLY want to go to Vegas. But I think that's a long long way off. I want to take my cruise first.

Things to do before I die:

Take a cruise
Go to Graceland
Go to California
Go to the Grand Canyon
Go to Vegas
Take an African safari
Go to Europe
Take a trip cross country and stop at all those stupid sites like the biggest ball of yarn and worlds largest frying pan. hee hee

Oh, here's a good one today!!

John called yesterday and said that DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) was at the house. WHAT??? WHY???

Turns out someone made a report that John was beating me. LOLOL ROFLMAO I still can't stop laughing about that. They talked to Nick at school in the morning and I talked to him when he got home.

Me: Nick, did you tell her that Daddy hits Mommy?
him: Yup
me: Nick, when have you ever seen Daddy hit Mommy?
him: Oh when you guys are wrestling on the couch or Daddy sprays you with the hose.
me: You mean when we're playing?
him: Yeah
me: Ok, Nick, the hitting that they are talking about is bad hitting. Like Daddy hitting me so hard that he hurt me. And doing it out of anger, not playing. Have you ever seen Daddy do that?
him: No
me: Ok, so do you understand the difference?
him: Yes
me: Good

Crisis over. Because of Nick's autism, his perspective of things is VERY skewed. He has a lot of trouble separating between fantasy and reality. Everything is black and white, there is no in between. Like, hitting is hitting, whether playing or beating. Oh, the other night we were watching a show and they showed worms having sex. It looked like they were kissing. Nick kissed me and then looked at John and said, I just had sex with mom. Hmm, no. You kiss when you have sex hence kissing IS sex. Get it? Exactly. (that was an interesting conversation, trying to explain that kissing is not sex without explaining what sex is.)

The girl couldn't tell us who called it in, but I'm assuming it was probably the counselor at Nick's school. Nick probably said something about it and he called them. I told the chick, Trust me, if he ever laid hand on me... he wouldn't be standing in the kitchen... he wouldn't be standing at all!

My friend said... Have these people ever met you? Cause if there was a report made, I would think it was cause you were beating him. LOL They know me too well. And no, I don't beat my husband... although maybe that would work???

So needless to say it was a very interesting evening. Can I please get a break? Someone, anyone? My life is just WAY too insane. What's it like to live a nice, normal, quite life??

722 hits to this blog! I can't believe that! It's so cool to think that someone really gives a crap what I say!! Thank you everyone.

Nick had his appointment yesterday with the shrink. YAYAY!! He'll be back on his meds today. Thank God. He was loosing it at school and getting into trouble. She adjusted his aderal a little bit to see if he could have better control. He was doing well with what he had, but I think he needed a little more. Plus he grew. My 7 year old is over 4 1/2 feet tall. Insane. He's grown and inch and a half since September.

John has an interview today... He seriously better be on his best behavior, cause it's my aunt he's interviewing with. I hope that she tortures him!!! Give him all the really crappy jobs to do! Punishment for being a pain in the ass!! Hmm, if he gets it, I wonder if I can use it to my advantage.... like, Aunt Irene, John was a jerk last night... Ok honey, I'll send him to scrub out the trucks with a toothbrush! Oooooo, wont that be nice!!!! Revenge is SWEET!

Let's see, anything interesting happen yesterday..... Hmm nope, same old life. Nothing new. Or at least nothing new that I can remember. I've been staring at this screen for 5 min trying to think of something... but alas, there is nothing. Oh well.

My favorite poem (found in my mother's year book)

I'm a little bar of soap
sweet and bright and shiney
and every time you take a bath
I'll swim around your hiney

Sister is out of the hospital and finally home. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. She's doing much better. I think they have decided to make the determination that it WAS all her MS and not some other random thing/disease. Which she kept telling them, but they wouldn't believe her.

The kids took the birds death ok. John said Calli cried for a little while, but she was fine when I got home and talked to me about it. She said the birdie is in heaven riding on Ebony's back (our dog that passed). The bird loved taking rides on the dog. We have weird animals. Nick talked about it a little bit, but didn't seem to upset. So, now we're down to 1 dog, 2 cats, 1 bird, 1 snake and fish (that keep disappearing.... since we got the cats.... and there's no top on the tank.... and the cats climb on top.... hmmmm connection??)

I felt like yuck yesterday. I went home, put clothes away and then just layed on my bed. My tummy is in turmoil. I still feel gross, but I HAVE to get this stuff done. I'm am going to really focus today. REALLY!!

Oh... my really really good thing.... It's moving forward!!! We'll see... should have news soon.

That's it for today folks. Cause if I don't get this crap done, I'm gonna get fired. Hasta Luego

Ok, so it looks like I killed the bird. I'm sorry. I can't change it. I should have realized there wasn't any food or water. Although, I thought I had fed him a couple days ago. His food usually last at least a week.

Add another nail in my coffin.

Damn The Weather Man!

Ok, One of these days the freaking weather men are going to get it right!! They called for 6-8 inches by this morning. Schools were delaying, stores were packed and I stayed up really late expecting no work or a delay. You wanna know what we had this morning? NOTHING!! A freaking dusting of mushy nothingness! So I had to get up, get Nick up and actually go out. DAMN DAMN DAMN I hate the weather man!

John's out of work again - ARG - (if you're reading this, you better get the hell off the computer and start calling for a job) I hate this. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I hate worrying if the bills will get paid. I hate getting yelled at because they aren't paid, or there's no food. I hate worrying if he'll have a job or not. I know things just aren't handed to you, but damnit, I've put in my time. Someone needs to hand me something. Even a little something. I'm tired of having to take care of everyone and no one taking care of me. I'm tired of hearing, It'll get better, things will change. Cause they haven't and they wont. It's a never ending cycle. And I either need to break the cycle or break his neck. I always said I was going to marry a really rich old man with a heart condition. Kill him off and then marry a poor man for love. I should've done that. Now I'm just poor and tired.

And if I hear, "I'm sorry, but.." one more time. I'm going to scream!!! Saying BUT after I'm sorry negates the appology!

Ok, venting over.. for now at least. It's sucks cause we're stealing internet at home right now and I know he's gonna read this and it's just gonna start another fight, but, whatever.

As for this week. It should be a long one. I have a lot of work to do. One good thing about him not having a job is I can work late to clean up everything. He's taking Nick to the dr. this afternoon. THANK GOD. Nick hasn't had his meds in a couple days. He scripts ran out and we missed his last appointment, so I knew she was gonna make us wait. Plus we have to change his meds a little bit. But other than that he's doing really well. You can definitely see that he needs the meds. He's so much more in control of himself with them. And although he's been off the wall, I know he could have been much worse, and I'm proud of him for holding it together.

Calli... Well, Callihan is Callihan. She's such a love bug. She'll be 4 in a couple of weeks, but she still wants to be held and cuddled all the time. Kisses galore. She's so funny. She'll hold my face and say, first I kiss then you kiss. I'm not allowed to pucker or anything. Just hold my face still and she'll kiss me. Then I get to kiss her. She's hysterical. And the faces she makes... kills me!! She's just a riot.

Oh... sad news. I found the parakeet dead this morning. The cat has had it's eye on him for quite a while. She figured out how to do a bounding leap-bounce off the fire place - and grab hold of the cage. I think last night... she completed her task. Either she clawed him, or just scared him to death, literally. Calli's gonna be heart broken. She loved that crazy little bird. I'm sure he's in birdy heaven, swinging on that big swing in the sky. :o(

Ok, off to do work... BLAHHHhhh

I'm not in jail!!

YAY!! Although we did end up dropping almost $500 last night. UG. I know everyone thought John's mouth was going to get us in trouble, but it was actually me that started babbling nonsense. After about a minute and the judge starting to look at me like I was the scum of the earth, I just shut my mouth and started saying, Yes Sir. He asked why we wrote checks from an account that had no money. I had a REALLY good reason, but for some reason I started saying it backwards. Which made us look really bad. At that point, I couldn't fix it, so I just shut up. So we paid the amount of the checks plus $120 in bank fees before we even saw the judge. Then he just gave us court costs which came out to about $130. Now HERE is where the ass fucks up. The clerk says, well, I think she wanted you to do an extended pay (pay over time). In "she" I think she meant our friend at the other court where the case was supposed to be. MEANING, she probably could have gotten us out of paying it. But NOOOooooo We had to pay it RIGHT NOW! Ass. Then he's yellin at me again. Cause it's always my fault. Whatever...

So, then we went home poor, but at least we went home and not to the hooscow! And then we all went to bed. At 8:30. LOL Poor dog, she didn't get anytime out today, except to go potty. I was just so emotionally exhausted, I needed to sleep.

Have we talked about that vacation I need? A friend mentioned a day at a spa... mmmmm yummy. But then my twisted head says... why are you spending all that money on a day at the spa when you have bills to pay and no food in the house! THAT, my friends is why Mary Kay does the awards that they do. They don't give you cash prizes. They give jewelry, and other personal stuff. The idea is that they know if they gave you money, you would spend it one what you need (ie, food, bills). They want to give you something just for YOU. It's very hard as a mother and a wife to think of yourself and not everyone else.

Where was I going with that... I have no idea. Oh well. Lost my train of thought. But then again, that's not to hard these days. I went to Shelly's yesterday to talk and vent. I love you Shell. You really are my best friend and I promise never to keep anything from you ever again!

Anyone interested in coming to my house this weekend to clean? I'll pay you ... in like dinner or something. I need those "Clean Sweep" people to come over. THAT would be awesome!

Off on a tangent again. Going to do work. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Oh, by the way, for all of those lovely people who emailed and posted to me about how wonderful I looked yesterday.....

YOU'RE ALL FULL OF CRAP. But I love you all and thanks.

I LIKE MUFFINS!

I have to go to court tonight. Everyone pool your money together to bail my ass out of jail. Bounced a couple checks at ShopRite. Oh well. Ya know, we owe other people WAY more than we owe SR. You don't see them taking us to court... yet.

Crap, I left my coffee in the car. Ho hum. Can't drink the crap they have here. And I'm not going outside. 1 - cause it's really cold and 2 - cause I'll want a ciggy and I'm out! I guess I'll settle for water. yuck.

Nick's truck came in yesterday. It's a 4 foot long tractor trailer with a remote control. It's very cool. I told him he had to clean his room before he played with it. So what did my husband do?? He started playing with it. I'm like John, put it back. He's ignoring me. Put it BACK. The battery probably doesn't last long on that thing. Still ignoring me. Then wonders why I'm pissed at him. DUH! You're worse than a kid! I actually said what I say to Nicky. "I asked you 3 times to stop playing with that!" Nick's been dying to get that and now you're gonna kill the battery on him. Stop being such a child. Ug. I swear I only birffed 2 kids!! Nick had fun with it though. He's still trying to work out the controls and it's so big, it's hard to drive in the house. We're going to take him down to the school to drive it.

I really like muffins. I got one this morning.... I wish I could have more of the muffin, all of the muffin, right now!, but I'm being good. Trying to behave. Damnit. So I only took a little piece. I want it all.... NOW!

Ok, that's it for now. I really have to get some work done. I've been so distracted and scatter brained that I'm way behind. Ta for now.

Sis is doing ok, just depressed I think because she's not jumping back up like she normally does. I sat with her for a couple hours yesterday and I think she started feeling better. It's nice to just sit and bull shit and not think about what's really going on.

As you can see from my last few post.. I need to start taking my happy pills again. I know I know, I already got the lecture from several people about not taking them. My posts have been scattered and random. Talking about nothing and everything at the same time. I apologize to anyone who is reading them and thinking that I've lost my mind. (cause I have) I should stop writing them until I can get myself together again, but I just can't seem to stop. So, while you read them.. if you're thinking that I'm not making any sense what so ever... you're right. BUT, it's sounds so right in my head - which is seriously messed up. Can't help it right now though. I'll get a grip soon or later.

Luckily I have friends that make me smile. It's funny how I can sit here and write this and have my mind going like crazy, not being able to focus on anything and feeling out of control and then a friend pops on IM and says hi and I can focus. I have people who tell me how much they like me and it makes me feel good. In case you didn't know, I'm a total looser who needs a LOT of attention and needs people to tell me how wonderful I am. Hell I'll settle for being told I look nice today. I even started doing my make-up the last couple of days so I can feel a little better. Maybe some guy will hit one me! Can't get better attention than that. You're married for so long that your husband looks at you as an afterthought. So getting a look from someone else... very nice. I could probably get a lot more of that kind of attention if I lost 80 pounds... hmm.

You see in my twisted head, if someone doesn't say something nice about me or smile at me or anything else stupid like that, I think they don't like me. And if they don't like me, well then why don't they like me? Have I said something wrong to them? Did I do something? How can I make them like me? Even if I really don't like that person and don't want to be friends with them... they still have to like ME! It's very convoluted.

I blame my childhood. I didn't get enough love as a child (Don't panic mom, I'm talking about the sperm donor, not you!) So I think I always have an overwhelming urge to feel that love, affection, attention... maybe that's why my marriage is always in the crapper. WOW, I just saved myself thousands of dollars. I don't need therapy.. I need someone to pay attention to me!

OK... I have no idea where all that came from... ok, maybe I do a little bit. Again, apologies to my readers. I promise to become normal again soon! I'm going to stop writing now before a reader calls the men in white coats after me..... although, that would probably be a nice quite vacation. Just sitting in my padded room ... ahhhh

Prayers out for my sister please. She had an MS attack and she's not holding up really well. Feeling very down and out. I'm going to make today's blog short so I can head to the hospital to be with her.

I'm not as sour today. I just have to remember that I'm not right in the brain and that things aren't always what they seem. Especially since my mind can twist things to such a degree I can see out the back of my head most of the time.

We had Heather's kids again last night. Our neighbor Arlene is doing very bad. They are basically just keeping her highly medicated until she passes. It's very sad. Michelle and I were talking this morning about how so far this year has been really shitty. It just seems like it has started out with a lot of gloom and doom. Hopefully it will get better from here. Everyone cross your fingers.

Hmm, a happy thought..... damn, I know there's got to be one in there somewhere.... hmmm... OH, it's supposed to be like 65 today. IT'S JANUARY!!! Normally it's like 5 below here. Crazy weather. Although, I wont be able to enjoy it much. I should have played hooky today.

I'm sure I can think of a happier thought tomorrow. ttfn

Ahhh, the joys of Mondays. Calli climbed into bed with me sometime in the middle of the night saying her tummy hurt. I had no idea where John was (on the couch as usual). Luckily there was no throwing up or anything. I woke her up this morning and she said it still hurt, so I left her home with John. Hopefully she doesn't get a stomach bug.

Nick has been enthralling audiences with the dropping of his pants. Ug. I know it's all part of the AS. No inhibitions. But that's really one I'd like him to have. He thinks it's rather funny. I think it's dangerous. Let's hope he gets the hint on that one soon.

One of our fish is eating the others. We have 5 fish missing. Not even, oh, that ones floating or oh, there's a piece of him... nope, they're just GONE! So someone in there is very hungry. We just can't figure out who. Our babies kept dying too. I was able to rescue about 5 of them and put them in another tank. Poor things. I blame Shelly. I think the shark she gave us is a meany. Although the silver shark we have has gotten REALLY big so who knows.

As for me... I'm feeling ... down I guess you would call it. I reluctantly cleaned on Saturday, but Sunday... I didn't do a damn thing. I sat my ass on the couch and read a book. ALL DAY! Why did I feel guilty about that? Why should I feel guilty? I'm allowed to do nothing once in a while.

My friend (and old neighbor) is up from NC because our other neighbor down the road is passing away from cancer and they are really close. So I've had her 2 kids the entire weekend which is nice. They're very close in age to my kids - actually our daughters are only 2 weeks apart. They played together the whole time. Calli only got one bloody nose, her son only had one fist full of hair removed, Nick only got slapped in the face and his gonads punched a couple of times and her daughter actually went unscathed - except for a screaming match over who got to play the piano first. But truly, her kids kept mine so busy I was able to sit and do nothing.

And yet... I still felt like I was going to get in trouble for doing that. Why is that??? Why is it that at thirty ffhladjkla I still feel like I'm a little kid who has to answer to other people? I'm taking a day off damn it, don't look at me like that. If you want shit done... there's the sink, there's the dishes... Have a ball. I'll be right here on this couch living in my fantasy world of dark hunters saving the world from the evil gods.

I'm not in the best mood today... can you tell??? lol And now I have to do work. JOY!

Someone make my life nicer... Please? Hell I'll settle for just today.

Have you ever wished your life was like a romance novel? I mean really, if people can think these things up in their heads... why can't they be real?

I've been reading these books in the Paranormal Erotica genera. Basically they are romance novels, but they have vampires and witches and werewolves in them instead of the stupid rich housewife who screws the pool boy. Hey, if we're going to fantasize, we might as well REALLY fantasize, right?

Anyway, why can't life be like that. Why can't we leave the drama of real life behind and just live outside of reality? Wouldn't that be nice? No marriage, no kids, no work, no daycare issues, no money issues - hell, in these books, people don't even go to the bathroom! Just fight demons and have sex.

My only problem is that I fantasize that I'm gorgeous! Thin and beautiful... then I look in the mirror and the fantasy is blown. I can put myself into these characters and think that I'm them. And then I look away from my book and realize it's just a book. That I'm sitting in my boring room in my boring life and that most men wouldn't want to be scene in public with me let alone engage in lascivious activities. LOL

What was that movie... the one with Arnold ... Oh, Total Recall. I want that done. I want someone to invade my brain and put in all these lovely memories. (And for good measure, they can add a hatred for food!) Then I can wake up and just start all over. Ahhhh

Maybe one day I'll loose a bazillion pounds, have a tummy tuck and a boob job and become the way I see myself in my head. Then I can quit my day job, become a stripper and make a ton of money.

Ok, back to this damn reality.... Bah Humbug!

I'm running away

That's it, I'm done. I'm running away forever. Don't come looking for me. Just leave me alone. My Mother will not admit that I was adopted and she needs to fess up!

There is not other explanation! There is no way I'm actually related to these people! It's insane.

I mentioned before that my niece got kicked out of her mom's during their visit cause they were fighting. She stayed with me one night and then went back. Monday I got a call from my sister saying "Get her out of here NOW". I left work a little early (I had a migraine anyway) and went over there. Stood over her while they packed all their stuff and sent her to my house. Ok, PHEWWW, done over. No big deal. They were fighting over a blanket!! They stayed at my house (well, they went to the city and then came back to my house to sleep).

Yesterday was a lazy day since we were up until 4:30am. Around 3pm Calli and I went up to take a nap. I vaguely remember Cassy trying to wake me up to tell me she was going to pick up David (her brother) but my body refused to acknowledge her.

6pm I called her and said, hey, stop at the store for me on your way back. OK, no problem

6:45, Hey, were are you guys? - voice mail

7:15 - Ok, seriously, your mom lives 10 min from me. Where are you? - Oh, we're at McDonalds eating, we'll be there in a little while. - Ok

8:20pm - OH COME ON!! - Ok, well, we're actually at the police station - WHAT!!!

Turns out they went to get Dave who wasn't ready yet and all hell broke loose. My sister and my niece decided to have one last blow out because they both needed to put in the last dig. Fists flew, bodies flew, blood flew. My nephew got involved, my brother in law got involved, the POLICE got involved. My sister was arrested and and the kids had to go file police reports.

Explain something to me. WHY WHY WHY WHY - Why fight? Why argue at all? Why not just say, ok, Dave, as soon as your stuff is done, finish packing and head out. I'm going to go in my room and close the door. Let me know when you're leaving so I can say good-bye. And BE DONE WITH IT!! Nooooooooooo it has to be a war.

They came back to my place and all started talking at once, - this happened, that happened, I said, Stop. I don't want to hear it. I am the safe house. I am offering you a place to sleep. I AM NOT getting involved in your stupidity!!

Those two are exactly alike and that's why they fight. They wont admit it though. God forbid!!

Like I don't have enough of my own crap to deal with, I have to deal with my CRAZY family.

Calgon.... Take me away.

Mommy - who's my real Daddy??? Is he rich? Can he save me from this family?

Or maybe someone out there is interested in adopting a sweet little girl - I'm loving, caring (32 shhhhh) and need a good home.