It's been a good week for me at work in the compliments department. Today I had a table with an older gentlemen in his mid 50's. He pulled me aside and said, "I just have to tell you, you have a great ass." Uhm... "Well, thanks". I went into the kitchen and told one of the other girls and the plumber was there listening. He looks around my backside and said, "Well, he's not wrong". HA LOL Ok then. I informed him that it was more the pants then me. (I really need to get a couple more pairs of those).
Then, well, it turned a little creepy. I guess the old guy REALLY liked what he saw because every time I stopped at the table he made a comment. "More coffee. I'm killing time so I can keep watching you walk up and down the isle." "You must be tired carrying all those trays. Can I give you a rub down?" "Hey, we should get together sometime." And quite a few more. Ok, really? I am a really good waitress and check on my tables a lot. But I finally stopped going over there cause he was creeping me out. I told the other girl the rub down comment and the plumber said, "You want me to go out there and take care of it?" LOL Sheila said she was gonna go tell him she was my girlfriend and that he needed to stop hitting on me. HA!!
The plumber asked if the old man really thought that shit would work on girls. In my opinion, the nice ass comment was enough. Maybe even the watching comment. Everything after that was over the top and obscene to a point. Men, if you want to get a girl, don't be crude. Give her compliments, but don't assume that just because you say something nice that you're gonna get laid. ESPECIALLY when you're old enough to be her father! Not that this guy had a chance in hell. I don't think my husband would appreciate it much. LOL
But here's the lesson for the day. Men, to get a girl, pay compliments. Always ask if she's married!! Very important!! If she's not and she seems interested, ask for her number. Easy peasy. Don't say hi, can I feel you up. It really doesn't work unless she is a paid professional.
And for those of you that were wondering, I know most people know you're married because you have a ring on. I don't have rings. After I lost all the weight, my rings were 6 sizes too big and were unable to be altered that much. We were never able to replace them. Plus, I have serious issues about spending that much money! I recently got a pretty fake ring, but it was too small. I have to send it back to exchange it and hopefully the new one will fit. Long story short, I don't wear a ring. So, just because a girl doesn't have a ring on, doesn't mean she's not married! Always ASK! :o)
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Feeling Pretty
At work today, an older lady walked by me on her way out, turned and said, "Oh my, you're so pretty!" - and she totally didn't mean it in that "Thank God you're pretty, cause you're so stupid" kind of way that I tend to use. I was stunned. No one has ever done that to me. I'm still the fat girl at heart. At this point, I've still spent more of my life fat then I have thin. I still get shocked when I see myself in a mirror. Still try on a size 10 even though I'm in a 6.
I still hate my body. I hate all the extra skin that I will never be able to afford to remove. I look like I've melted when I'm naked and it's extremely embarrassing and I never feel sexy.
But with clothes on, ... I'm totally happy. I look great.... (I think). I'm getting old. I have wrinkles around my eyes and my hair has a very loving relationship with the dye companies that cover the grey. But at almost 40, I really shouldn't expect less. And I definitely look better then I did in my 20's when I was pushing 270 pounds and wearing a size 22. I no longer hear that "Oh, you have such a pretty face. If only you lost the weight" speech. Now I hear a lot more of the "Hot Mom" thing. Although, I don't know how that makes me feel either. LOL
Unfortunately, most of the people around me are much younger then me and really think of me as "Mom". Probably because I act like that. All the kids at Cracker are just that... my kids. I tend to give advice, comfort and care just like they were my own. That's ok though. I like being needed. But I enjoy hearing that I'm a MILF. LOL On the other hand, I always second guess people when they say things like that. Are they being truthful, or do they just say that to make me feel good. When in actuality, they think I'm just another ugly, old lady. Ah, they joys of low self esteem!
I pray my daughter never has to go through this. Although, I know every girl does. Every girl hates her body at some point and feels ugly. I just hope hers only lasts a moment before she finds all the beauty that's within her. She is a very pretty little girl. She looks a lot like my niece Cassy when she was her age. And if she turns out to be even a fraction of how gorgeous Cass became, she'll be blessed.
I still hate my body. I hate all the extra skin that I will never be able to afford to remove. I look like I've melted when I'm naked and it's extremely embarrassing and I never feel sexy.
But with clothes on, ... I'm totally happy. I look great.... (I think). I'm getting old. I have wrinkles around my eyes and my hair has a very loving relationship with the dye companies that cover the grey. But at almost 40, I really shouldn't expect less. And I definitely look better then I did in my 20's when I was pushing 270 pounds and wearing a size 22. I no longer hear that "Oh, you have such a pretty face. If only you lost the weight" speech. Now I hear a lot more of the "Hot Mom" thing. Although, I don't know how that makes me feel either. LOL
Unfortunately, most of the people around me are much younger then me and really think of me as "Mom". Probably because I act like that. All the kids at Cracker are just that... my kids. I tend to give advice, comfort and care just like they were my own. That's ok though. I like being needed. But I enjoy hearing that I'm a MILF. LOL On the other hand, I always second guess people when they say things like that. Are they being truthful, or do they just say that to make me feel good. When in actuality, they think I'm just another ugly, old lady. Ah, they joys of low self esteem!
I pray my daughter never has to go through this. Although, I know every girl does. Every girl hates her body at some point and feels ugly. I just hope hers only lasts a moment before she finds all the beauty that's within her. She is a very pretty little girl. She looks a lot like my niece Cassy when she was her age. And if she turns out to be even a fraction of how gorgeous Cass became, she'll be blessed.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Family Ties
This week has been really crazy. I had two funerals to attend. Two of my Great Uncles died on Saturday within 12 hours of each other. We've have multiple people die in our family around the same time, but never the same day! So Monday through Thursday were spent at wakes and funerals interspersed with a million other things that had to get done including Calli's birthday.
A lot of us mentioned today that it's not right that we never get together anymore except for funerals. When we were little, there were always family get togethers, picnics, parties and fun. All the cousins (first, seconds, and thirds) all gathered around the elders and had a good ole time. I think it was "The Elders" that always made sure this happened. Keep the family close! That was our motto. Most of us still lived in Rockaway at that time or within 10 minutes of it. My Grandmother's family have lived here for 100 years. That is why I have such a strong pull to this town.
Fourth of July at Aunt Helen's was always a big favorite of mine. All the family would gather, eat, laugh and tell stories. Us kids would run around her huge backyard, swing on the swings or roller skate in her basement. After all the family fun, we'd walk over the Fireman's Field and watch the fireworks which have always been the best in the state!
We had one reunion quite a few years ago. Grandma has since passed away, and now out of the seven of them, only two of the "Elders" are left. One of them lives in Florida. All of the cousins have scattered to the far corners and we never seem to see each other unless we're brought together by a tragedy. I put it to some of the other cousins today to plan a get together for this summer. Have us all meet on a happy note.
Although, I must say, even in tragedy, my family can make it a happy time. Yes, tears were shed this week, but there was so much more laughter. Between catching up, hearing old stories and "the things Old people say!", we really had a good time (I know that sounds strange. Good times at the funerals. But really, it was)
I really hope we can make it happen. Once we move this summer, we aren't going to make it back here for things like this. One last Hurrah! Bring on the fun.
Keep your family close guys. I wish my kids had the close knit family upbringing that we did. They barely see their own first cousins, let alone the rest of the family. Our family may be crazy, but if they were able to be around that more, they'd know where THEY get it from!
A lot of us mentioned today that it's not right that we never get together anymore except for funerals. When we were little, there were always family get togethers, picnics, parties and fun. All the cousins (first, seconds, and thirds) all gathered around the elders and had a good ole time. I think it was "The Elders" that always made sure this happened. Keep the family close! That was our motto. Most of us still lived in Rockaway at that time or within 10 minutes of it. My Grandmother's family have lived here for 100 years. That is why I have such a strong pull to this town.
Fourth of July at Aunt Helen's was always a big favorite of mine. All the family would gather, eat, laugh and tell stories. Us kids would run around her huge backyard, swing on the swings or roller skate in her basement. After all the family fun, we'd walk over the Fireman's Field and watch the fireworks which have always been the best in the state!
We had one reunion quite a few years ago. Grandma has since passed away, and now out of the seven of them, only two of the "Elders" are left. One of them lives in Florida. All of the cousins have scattered to the far corners and we never seem to see each other unless we're brought together by a tragedy. I put it to some of the other cousins today to plan a get together for this summer. Have us all meet on a happy note.
Although, I must say, even in tragedy, my family can make it a happy time. Yes, tears were shed this week, but there was so much more laughter. Between catching up, hearing old stories and "the things Old people say!", we really had a good time (I know that sounds strange. Good times at the funerals. But really, it was)
I really hope we can make it happen. Once we move this summer, we aren't going to make it back here for things like this. One last Hurrah! Bring on the fun.
Keep your family close guys. I wish my kids had the close knit family upbringing that we did. They barely see their own first cousins, let alone the rest of the family. Our family may be crazy, but if they were able to be around that more, they'd know where THEY get it from!
Friday, February 14, 2014
I already shoveled!!
I sit warm and snug in my car as my
daughter slides down the huge piles of snow. I don't do cold, but I'll watch! We've gotten so much
snow lately. That's all anyone is talking about from Maine to Georgia.
People who have never seen snow before are getting the whole
experience! From a slight dusting in Georgia that shut the entire
state down, to the almost 3 feet that we've accumulated here in
Jersey with more coming and people still trying to get to work. It's beautiful to look at, but it's
exhausting to deal with. By the time you're done shoveling, it's
time to shovel again.
I have gotten out of a lot of shoveling duty this year because of my back. But having a 13 year old and the boys in the basement, is a lot of extra help for John. Even if it comes with bitching and moaning (mostly from the teenager). I had them out there today clearing again while he was at work. Nick was not happy that he had to shovel two days in a row. OH THE HORROR!! Tell it to Mother Nature Buddy!
He actually acted like we were torturing him. Like we had no idea what he was going through. Yeah, right, cause we've never had to shovel in our lives. Hey, when I was growing up, we didn't have a man in the house to do this stuff. We had to do it ourselves. It would have been us girls out there freezing our butts off! I'm three times your age. I've seen a lot more snow then you! I didn't get out of shoveling until I got married. Then I could pawn it off on the hubby. But I always helped. Even now, when I'm still kind of on some restrictions, I was out there chopping up the ice and helping out. Just wait kid, you don't get out of doing the dirty, hard work until you have a kid of your own to torture. That's why we had you! Hee Hee
The worst thing about winter is the colds. My nose and eyes were leaking all day yesterday. Not like stuffy nose, running. More like, I stood up and it pored out of my nose and eyes. So gross. Nothing else bothered me. I was just annoyed. Today, I'm still a little leaky, but not as bad. But my neck is very sore. My throat is fine, it's my glands which I believe are quite swollen. Boo I go back to work in a few days. Finally after 5 long months! I'm not about to be too sick to work. I have some old antibiotics that I'm gonna pop and hope for the best.
Well, more snow tonight, so lets see how much the boy bitches in the morning. :o)
Back to work on Sunday! YAY
I have gotten out of a lot of shoveling duty this year because of my back. But having a 13 year old and the boys in the basement, is a lot of extra help for John. Even if it comes with bitching and moaning (mostly from the teenager). I had them out there today clearing again while he was at work. Nick was not happy that he had to shovel two days in a row. OH THE HORROR!! Tell it to Mother Nature Buddy!
He actually acted like we were torturing him. Like we had no idea what he was going through. Yeah, right, cause we've never had to shovel in our lives. Hey, when I was growing up, we didn't have a man in the house to do this stuff. We had to do it ourselves. It would have been us girls out there freezing our butts off! I'm three times your age. I've seen a lot more snow then you! I didn't get out of shoveling until I got married. Then I could pawn it off on the hubby. But I always helped. Even now, when I'm still kind of on some restrictions, I was out there chopping up the ice and helping out. Just wait kid, you don't get out of doing the dirty, hard work until you have a kid of your own to torture. That's why we had you! Hee Hee
The worst thing about winter is the colds. My nose and eyes were leaking all day yesterday. Not like stuffy nose, running. More like, I stood up and it pored out of my nose and eyes. So gross. Nothing else bothered me. I was just annoyed. Today, I'm still a little leaky, but not as bad. But my neck is very sore. My throat is fine, it's my glands which I believe are quite swollen. Boo I go back to work in a few days. Finally after 5 long months! I'm not about to be too sick to work. I have some old antibiotics that I'm gonna pop and hope for the best.
Well, more snow tonight, so lets see how much the boy bitches in the morning. :o)
Back to work on Sunday! YAY
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
TV back then
Mad About You. Remember that show? Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt and Murray the Dog. I LOVE this show. They are replaying it now and I'm taping them to watch at my leisure. I forgot how seriously funny and well written this show was. Why isn't it on anymore?? COME BACK! Why do all the good shows go away?
I realize that some run their course and there's just no where left to go. Those shows where the kids where in school and now they've all graduated. Or the kids were born and are now all grown and moved out. Or some that were so mind numbing but still good until the mind numbing just became boring. But those other shows, those ones that can never get old because they're based on daily lives. Why do they have to go. Mad About You, Friends, The Golden Girls, Alice, Quantum Leap, Night Court, Saint Elsewhere. They were such good, timeless shows. As I'm watching these episodes off my DVR, you'd never know they were originally aired 20 years ago. The clothes give it away somewhat, but other then that, it's everyday conversations, arguments, daily stresses of marriage and life in general. And they make you smile and say ME TOO!
Those are the shows that last. The ones you can get behind because they hit close to home. They make you feel a part of it. Like you could just slip right into the scene and play along. And those are the ones you miss the most when they're gone. There really isn't any shows like that on right now. Most of them are reality game shows, or science fiction or crime shows. Not light, happy, I feel ya shows. Maybe that's why society is so messed up these days. Television is corrupting our brains.
This really made a lot of sense in my head, but I'm so tired right now, I don't think I put it together as well as I could have. Oh Well, You get the idea. Old TV good, New TV Meh!
I realize that some run their course and there's just no where left to go. Those shows where the kids where in school and now they've all graduated. Or the kids were born and are now all grown and moved out. Or some that were so mind numbing but still good until the mind numbing just became boring. But those other shows, those ones that can never get old because they're based on daily lives. Why do they have to go. Mad About You, Friends, The Golden Girls, Alice, Quantum Leap, Night Court, Saint Elsewhere. They were such good, timeless shows. As I'm watching these episodes off my DVR, you'd never know they were originally aired 20 years ago. The clothes give it away somewhat, but other then that, it's everyday conversations, arguments, daily stresses of marriage and life in general. And they make you smile and say ME TOO!
Those are the shows that last. The ones you can get behind because they hit close to home. They make you feel a part of it. Like you could just slip right into the scene and play along. And those are the ones you miss the most when they're gone. There really isn't any shows like that on right now. Most of them are reality game shows, or science fiction or crime shows. Not light, happy, I feel ya shows. Maybe that's why society is so messed up these days. Television is corrupting our brains.
This really made a lot of sense in my head, but I'm so tired right now, I don't think I put it together as well as I could have. Oh Well, You get the idea. Old TV good, New TV Meh!
Monday, February 10, 2014
KABOSH
We're doing our taxes today and John need to get unemployment information for the 2 weeks he claimed. They told him he needed to get it online, but he couldn't remember his pin. So he sat on the phone today for THREE HOURS!! Three hours on hold before getting someone is just crazy! If they don't have enough people to not leave you on hold that long, then why are they constantly cutting those jobs. Obviously, they need MORE employees in the state government, not less. Ok, wait... I'm not gonna go there. I am NOT a political person. I hate debating those type of issues. That may make me un-American or something I guess, but oh well.
I've just seen and been involved in so many debates about strong issues and it just doesn't really get anywhere. I truly believe in what I believe and you truly believe in what you believe and nothing is going to change those beliefs, so you're endlessly just going back and forth. I am very quick to put the kabosh on any hefty conversations. I have enough heavy in my life that I have no choice but to deal with, this I can control and keep light and fluffy.
Speaking of light and fluffy, it's baking time. Nick volunteered me to make cupcakes for school for Valentine's day and Calli's birthday is next week and she wants sock monkey cupcakes. :o/ huh? Ug, I'll figure that one out. I always do! Last year was taco cupcakes and I NAILED that one!
Yup, those are "cupcakes"
So, the search is on for sock monkeys. Wish me luck!
Plus... it's official!! I'm going back to work!! So I have to find something super yummy to make for my first day back. I can't tell you how excited I am. I talked to my manager today and he's putting me on next weeks schedule! WOOT WOOT!! Cracker, HERE I COME!
PS - did you see how quick I put the kabosh on the original topic? Hee Hee
I've just seen and been involved in so many debates about strong issues and it just doesn't really get anywhere. I truly believe in what I believe and you truly believe in what you believe and nothing is going to change those beliefs, so you're endlessly just going back and forth. I am very quick to put the kabosh on any hefty conversations. I have enough heavy in my life that I have no choice but to deal with, this I can control and keep light and fluffy.
Speaking of light and fluffy, it's baking time. Nick volunteered me to make cupcakes for school for Valentine's day and Calli's birthday is next week and she wants sock monkey cupcakes. :o/ huh? Ug, I'll figure that one out. I always do! Last year was taco cupcakes and I NAILED that one!
Yup, those are "cupcakes"
So, the search is on for sock monkeys. Wish me luck!
Plus... it's official!! I'm going back to work!! So I have to find something super yummy to make for my first day back. I can't tell you how excited I am. I talked to my manager today and he's putting me on next weeks schedule! WOOT WOOT!! Cracker, HERE I COME!
PS - did you see how quick I put the kabosh on the original topic? Hee Hee
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Lego's and Snow
Went to the LEGO Movie tonight. I know it's a kids movie, but I was so excited to see it. It was really good. Very funny. A lot of jokes that only us old folks would get. Very enjoyable all around. Two bad things. 1. I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for a very long time. AWESOME! 2. We came out of the movie to a few inches of snow covering everything.
Our 1 mile drive home took almost a half hour. We live on a mountain with lots of steep hills and they don't care for the roads that well. I handed John the keys, got in the car and held on for dear life. We made it most of the way up the hill before we got stuck and were skidding all over. Luckily he was able to get through it. I HATE HATE HATE driving in the snow. Usually, if I know it's going to snow, I lock myself in the house and stay there until the roads are black again. I have had too many accidents in the snow to be ok with it. Another reason to move to warmer ground.
Olympics are in full swing. I love the Olympics. Its fascinating to watch these people jump, flip, speed and struggle through all the different events. I'm loving the snowboarding this year. I can't wait for the half pipe. Although I think they're all NUTS!! It's crazy to be strapped to a board, flying down a hill at 90 mph, running up the side of a wall to fly into the air, flip a million times and make sure you come down on the right side of the board and not your head. The best part, they love it! It's what they do for fun. It's not a HAVE to, it's a WANT to. It just makes it so much better.
Ice skating, luge, boarding, ski jumps, moguls, and so much more. At least now I have something to watch while I'm stuck home.
Speaking of that!! I'm going into work this week to talk to the manager about getting back on the schedule!!! WOOT!! Back to work next week! So freaking excited!!
Our 1 mile drive home took almost a half hour. We live on a mountain with lots of steep hills and they don't care for the roads that well. I handed John the keys, got in the car and held on for dear life. We made it most of the way up the hill before we got stuck and were skidding all over. Luckily he was able to get through it. I HATE HATE HATE driving in the snow. Usually, if I know it's going to snow, I lock myself in the house and stay there until the roads are black again. I have had too many accidents in the snow to be ok with it. Another reason to move to warmer ground.
Olympics are in full swing. I love the Olympics. Its fascinating to watch these people jump, flip, speed and struggle through all the different events. I'm loving the snowboarding this year. I can't wait for the half pipe. Although I think they're all NUTS!! It's crazy to be strapped to a board, flying down a hill at 90 mph, running up the side of a wall to fly into the air, flip a million times and make sure you come down on the right side of the board and not your head. The best part, they love it! It's what they do for fun. It's not a HAVE to, it's a WANT to. It just makes it so much better.
Ice skating, luge, boarding, ski jumps, moguls, and so much more. At least now I have something to watch while I'm stuck home.
Speaking of that!! I'm going into work this week to talk to the manager about getting back on the schedule!!! WOOT!! Back to work next week! So freaking excited!!
Saturday, February 8, 2014
The Husband as I see him
I didn't know what to blog about today and John said to do it about him and how wonderful he is. LOL He is wonderful so here goes.
He works hard and has become a very good father and husband. It was a long road and many trials, but I think we've finally figured us out. Well, maybe not totally, but pretty damn close. I am not going to get into our past problems because that is just what they are, the past. We've learned from them and are better for it. We hope that we'll never be back there again.
He's funny. He cracks me up every day. When the kids are making me crazy and I'm ready to pull my hair out, he's my comic relief. There are days that I want to smack him for making me laugh. You know those times that you just want to stay angry cause that's the mood you're in. He usually doesn't let that last.
He's very caring. Not many guys could handle all my medical issues. I've been sick through two pregnancies. Bed rest for one which ended in an emergency C-section. I've had gastric bypass surgery, a grand maul seizure and just recently, spinal surgery. All of which were major and needed hands on care. And he was there. I think he likes feeling needed, which he is always needed, but those situations call for a lot more. I bet it's cause he likes to be in charge for once. I'm usually the boss around here, but at those times, I have no choice but to let him take over. That is really hard for me, but in the end, it's nice to get the break and to have someone else do it.
He's very handy! He can do just about anything. He can fix the car, fix the wall, build a table, change the socket, fix the pipe, and change the grout. His favorite line is "I can build that!" Anything I see that I like, he always makes that comment. I have a list a mile long with the things he is going to make me that I've never seen. Not that he can't, he just doesn't. LOL I did get a lovely mirror and a refinished table. So there's that. When we win the lottery and he doesn't have to work anymore, I bet I'll have a ton of stuff "Handcrafted by John".
He's super handsome. I do have to say, I lucked out. I got a good lookin' guy! I love his goatee and he's got the softest hair. Yum.
He's not the most romantic guy, but he tries really hard and I don't really know how to be romantic either, so it works out. I got roses for my birthday yesterday which was super sweet. All I need is the little things. Make me a cup when you make your own. Do the dishes once in a while. Throw in some laundry. I'm not to hard to please. One less thing for me to do is really romantic!
We're about to make some very big decisions for our family and I worry that they wont be the right ones, but he is reassuring and encouraging. We can make these together and not fear that one or the other is making all the choices, which leads to bad things. Together is better.
He's not perfect. He's as messy as the kids. He leaves his shoes in the dining room and dishes everywhere. When he has a runny nose (like today) he insists he's DYING! - but that's all men! He snores (but he says I do too and I have perfected the silencer nudge) He doesn't take care of his health and he eats to many things that are bad for him. But since I am far from perfect, I don't think I could be with a perfect guy. Our imperfections are what make us more interesting and love each other more for it.
Here's to a long life together and kicking the kids out so we can have us time. Old folks in rocking chairs on the front porch yelling at the neighbor kids for being on our lawn.
He works hard and has become a very good father and husband. It was a long road and many trials, but I think we've finally figured us out. Well, maybe not totally, but pretty damn close. I am not going to get into our past problems because that is just what they are, the past. We've learned from them and are better for it. We hope that we'll never be back there again.
He's funny. He cracks me up every day. When the kids are making me crazy and I'm ready to pull my hair out, he's my comic relief. There are days that I want to smack him for making me laugh. You know those times that you just want to stay angry cause that's the mood you're in. He usually doesn't let that last.
He's very caring. Not many guys could handle all my medical issues. I've been sick through two pregnancies. Bed rest for one which ended in an emergency C-section. I've had gastric bypass surgery, a grand maul seizure and just recently, spinal surgery. All of which were major and needed hands on care. And he was there. I think he likes feeling needed, which he is always needed, but those situations call for a lot more. I bet it's cause he likes to be in charge for once. I'm usually the boss around here, but at those times, I have no choice but to let him take over. That is really hard for me, but in the end, it's nice to get the break and to have someone else do it.
He's very handy! He can do just about anything. He can fix the car, fix the wall, build a table, change the socket, fix the pipe, and change the grout. His favorite line is "I can build that!" Anything I see that I like, he always makes that comment. I have a list a mile long with the things he is going to make me that I've never seen. Not that he can't, he just doesn't. LOL I did get a lovely mirror and a refinished table. So there's that. When we win the lottery and he doesn't have to work anymore, I bet I'll have a ton of stuff "Handcrafted by John".
He's super handsome. I do have to say, I lucked out. I got a good lookin' guy! I love his goatee and he's got the softest hair. Yum.
He's not the most romantic guy, but he tries really hard and I don't really know how to be romantic either, so it works out. I got roses for my birthday yesterday which was super sweet. All I need is the little things. Make me a cup when you make your own. Do the dishes once in a while. Throw in some laundry. I'm not to hard to please. One less thing for me to do is really romantic!
We're about to make some very big decisions for our family and I worry that they wont be the right ones, but he is reassuring and encouraging. We can make these together and not fear that one or the other is making all the choices, which leads to bad things. Together is better.
He's not perfect. He's as messy as the kids. He leaves his shoes in the dining room and dishes everywhere. When he has a runny nose (like today) he insists he's DYING! - but that's all men! He snores (but he says I do too and I have perfected the silencer nudge) He doesn't take care of his health and he eats to many things that are bad for him. But since I am far from perfect, I don't think I could be with a perfect guy. Our imperfections are what make us more interesting and love each other more for it.
Here's to a long life together and kicking the kids out so we can have us time. Old folks in rocking chairs on the front porch yelling at the neighbor kids for being on our lawn.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Live Like You Were Dying
Today is my birthday. I actually forgot it was my birthday. With so much going on in my life between me, John and the kids, John's work, physical therapy, school, activities, Calli's birthday coming up and a million other things, I really just didn't pay attention to the date. Yesterday as we were signing papers, John reminded me. I was a little shocked. Today, I am 39 years old. One year shy of 40.
Being 40 doesn't scare me. Dying scares me. And as I get older, I seem to think of death much more often. There have been nights that I lay in bed and have panic attacks just thinking about it. If I knew what really happens, I probably would be ok. But the unknown terrifies me. Is it just like going to sleep? That peaceful drift. Or are you trapped in an emptiness? Are you reincarnated, destined to relive your life until you get it right, or sent to heavenly bliss? Its the leaving that scares me. Leaving everyone behind. If you think of it as "I'll die when I'm old. Someday far away" you really don't notice it. But if you think of it at this moment, right now, if I was to die, what would happen, that's crazy Maybe when your in your 80's, you've lived so much that you're ready to be done. Tired of trying to live. But at 40, with so much left to do, could you go peacefully into that good night or would you rage, rage against the dying of the light. Just thinking of it makes my chest hurt and my stomach turn. I don't want to die, but I also don't want to be immortal. I'm too poor for that.
But as my age increases and the thought of the end is ever more present, I realize that I have to seize the day and be more impulsive. Do things that I never thought I would do. Like move across the country and away from my family and friends. Start a new life in a completely different place. Maybe now really is the time. I can experience and see things that I never could here. If I am going to die, I want to say that I lived. I never want to feel like I was just here and floating along. I want to say, it's ok. I've done all I wanted to do, I'm ready.
SEIZE THE DAY MY FRIENDS!!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
You want a knish with that?
My Jewish Mother guilt trip is PERFECT. John came in and told Nick he should really go out and help the neighbor shovel his driveway. Nick basically blew him off. I came out and told him "The neighbor has been ill. He's out there doing it all alone. Come here, look at him! He looks exhausted! But if you don't want to it's ok. I just think it would make you such a better person. It would really be nice to help out someone else. Just think of how grateful he would be. But I understand... " As he puts on his shoes and goes outside to help the neighbor ... "Do NOT accept any money from him!" Hee Hee
I asked Calli to help me cook and she whined. She did about 2 things and then said she was done. I gave it the old, "Fine don't help me. I'll just do it myself like I always do. I'm going to turn this house into the Little Red Hen Story. I buy the groceries. I put them away. I prepare everything. I cook everything and clean it all up. If no one helps, no one gets to have any. But it's fine. I'll just do it ALL." She was so upset, that she put herself in the bathroom to cry for a bit. (This is her new favorite crying spot.) She then came in the kitchen and finished helping with lunch and dinner prep with lots of "Oh, I'll do that for you Mamma."
I know this may not be the best parenting, but it's been working for 1,000s of years. So, I'm gonna keep it up. Maybe if I do it right, they will be able to do it with their own children and so the tradition will continue and Mothers for generations after me will get their way.
I asked Calli to help me cook and she whined. She did about 2 things and then said she was done. I gave it the old, "Fine don't help me. I'll just do it myself like I always do. I'm going to turn this house into the Little Red Hen Story. I buy the groceries. I put them away. I prepare everything. I cook everything and clean it all up. If no one helps, no one gets to have any. But it's fine. I'll just do it ALL." She was so upset, that she put herself in the bathroom to cry for a bit. (This is her new favorite crying spot.) She then came in the kitchen and finished helping with lunch and dinner prep with lots of "Oh, I'll do that for you Mamma."
I know this may not be the best parenting, but it's been working for 1,000s of years. So, I'm gonna keep it up. Maybe if I do it right, they will be able to do it with their own children and so the tradition will continue and Mothers for generations after me will get their way.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Snow Day Doings
Our snow day became a cooking day. I made home made pizza for lunch, these zeppolies for a snack and crock pot chili for dinner. I planned on some strawberries and bananas dipped in chocolate too, but didn't get around to it.
The boys spent a lot of time outside shoveling for the second time this week. We live on a small street but half of it is in the Borough and the other half is in the Township. The plows came by and started on the township side and pushed it down to our side. Our neighbor actually stopped the truck and yelled at them. He said, "That's the townships snow. We don't want that down here! Give it back to them!" He bitched enough that the guy actually DID IT!! Are you kidding me? I would have plowed over his car. He actually turned around and pushed it back up the street. Because these guys didn't have enough to do today. Lets tell them which direction to plow the snow. Some people just have nothing else to do but make others miserable. He needs a cookie to cheer the hell up!
We had received another large amount of snow last night which was then covered with a thick layer of ice . Not fun for shoveling. Since I had spinal surgery recently, I am banned from any shoveling. Luckily, we had a son for that. Unfortunately, said son has Asperger's and his concentration level is that of a dog with a squirrel running by. I basically had to stand at the window and say,
"Nick, shovel"
"Nick, don't slide across the deck on the ice"
"Nick, don't throw the snow into the pool"
"Nick, don't throw ice at your sister"
"Nick, shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"
I don't think the stairs ever actually got shoveled. But, most of the deck was cleared. Good enough. We're very much a "good enough" family. I don't need perfection, I just need done.
I'm no where near a perfectionist unless we're talking about my cakes or my crocheting. I'll pull a hat apart 10 times if I don't like the way it looks. And my cakes... oh lord. I'm a nightmare when I have to do a cake. I get so stressed out and want it perfect. I'll work on it till it looks like the picture in my head or better! When it comes to anything else, Meh! Whatever.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Old People Shopping
I went to the grocery store today after physical therapy (which hurt a lot by the way!) and it was fairly empty. Had to get my MILK AND BREAD!!! for the storm tomorrow, which is proceeded by Monday's storm and to be followed by this weekends storm. We should have snow to the roof by next week. And the kids will be going to school till August.
So anyway, by the time I hit the 4th isle (I'm an up and down shopper) the old folks homes must have dropped off 3 bus loads. It was so crowded in an instant.
Old people are hysterical to watch shop. I like the couples. They're so cute. They are couponing, checking every label, arguing over products but very in sync and in love otherwise. The sweetness just oozes off of them. I hope John and I end up that way. Although, having him go shopping with me will result in a cart of devil dogs and chocolate milk.
The little, old single men are usually polite, sweet and very friendly. Always wanting to strike up a conversation. Buying their "food for one". I often see a steak in those carts. Live well to the end old man!
The little, old single ladies... oh, that is a very different story. Most of them are pushy, rude, entitled and down right mean. I saw no less then 3 ladies ram their carts into others that were in their way. Many rude comments such as, "This is ridiculous" "Can't you move" "Why is it up so high!" "THESE PRICES". I guess when you live that long, you feel the right to do and say whatever you want. I know Grandma got very cranky in her old age, but most of the time we yelled at her for it. I am already a cranky witch. I pray that I don't become complacent in my old age. Not caring what other people think about you is one thing. Treating people badly is another.
Grandkids don't let your Grandma's go bad!
So anyway, by the time I hit the 4th isle (I'm an up and down shopper) the old folks homes must have dropped off 3 bus loads. It was so crowded in an instant.
Old people are hysterical to watch shop. I like the couples. They're so cute. They are couponing, checking every label, arguing over products but very in sync and in love otherwise. The sweetness just oozes off of them. I hope John and I end up that way. Although, having him go shopping with me will result in a cart of devil dogs and chocolate milk.
The little, old single men are usually polite, sweet and very friendly. Always wanting to strike up a conversation. Buying their "food for one". I often see a steak in those carts. Live well to the end old man!
The little, old single ladies... oh, that is a very different story. Most of them are pushy, rude, entitled and down right mean. I saw no less then 3 ladies ram their carts into others that were in their way. Many rude comments such as, "This is ridiculous" "Can't you move" "Why is it up so high!" "THESE PRICES". I guess when you live that long, you feel the right to do and say whatever you want. I know Grandma got very cranky in her old age, but most of the time we yelled at her for it. I am already a cranky witch. I pray that I don't become complacent in my old age. Not caring what other people think about you is one thing. Treating people badly is another.
Grandkids don't let your Grandma's go bad!
Monday, February 3, 2014
Snow, Snow and MORE Snow!! The kids have had so many days off, I think they'll be going to school until August. They had off today, delay tomorrow and from what it looks like, off Wednesday and maybe Monday. They love it, but I may loose my mind. They're spending all their time on Mind Craft. Utter nonsense!!
So, for those of you that are going to become fans (again) of this page, I just want to let you know of all the things I'm going to talk about.
Life as I know it. I'm sure it will be different from yours.
Parenting of boys, girls and teenagers.
Asperger's Syndrome
Dealing with schools when it comes to your child's disabilities.
Marriage
Cooking
Baking
Crocheting
Working in the crazy world of a waitress.
Living in New Jersey (and hopefully in the future Living in Arizona)
I also hope to get some opportunities for some product reviews so you may see those thrown in here too!
So wish me luck and let me know if I get boring or if there's anything you want me to rant on! Be aware that this blog goes back about 7 years. I have not looked back through all of it, but I do know that my life has changed drastically since its inception. So if you happen to be bored and read all the way back, know that the me from then, is nothing like the me from now. Oh the changes! 90% of them have been for the better and we're much happier for it. But who knows what I wrote back then. I think I was a little nutty. Now I'm a LOT nutty!! So this should be interesting! Happy Reading!
So, for those of you that are going to become fans (again) of this page, I just want to let you know of all the things I'm going to talk about.
Life as I know it. I'm sure it will be different from yours.
Parenting of boys, girls and teenagers.
Asperger's Syndrome
Dealing with schools when it comes to your child's disabilities.
Marriage
Cooking
Baking
Crocheting
Working in the crazy world of a waitress.
Living in New Jersey (and hopefully in the future Living in Arizona)
I also hope to get some opportunities for some product reviews so you may see those thrown in here too!
So wish me luck and let me know if I get boring or if there's anything you want me to rant on! Be aware that this blog goes back about 7 years. I have not looked back through all of it, but I do know that my life has changed drastically since its inception. So if you happen to be bored and read all the way back, know that the me from then, is nothing like the me from now. Oh the changes! 90% of them have been for the better and we're much happier for it. But who knows what I wrote back then. I think I was a little nutty. Now I'm a LOT nutty!! So this should be interesting! Happy Reading!
Here We Go Again!
Look at me! I'm back on the blog train. I should have started 4 months ago when I was stuck in bed after spinal surgery. Of course, I didn't think of it till now when I'm two weeks from going back to work.
I plan to make this blog a good place to talk, vent, share and teach. I have a lot of crazy things going on here all the time. I have a two kids. A 13 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome and a (almost) 10 year old daughter (with undiagnosed Asperger's) She is diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm pretty sure she has the full boat. I crochet, I bake, I cook. I'm basically a stay at home mom who has to work to pay the bills. I work at Cracker Barrel as a waitress and actually love it.
I hope to inspire others and help out if I can. So, off we go!
If you have any questions or things you like to know about me, just ask! I'm basically an open book. There's not much I wont talk about.
I plan to make this blog a good place to talk, vent, share and teach. I have a lot of crazy things going on here all the time. I have a two kids. A 13 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome and a (almost) 10 year old daughter (with undiagnosed Asperger's) She is diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm pretty sure she has the full boat. I crochet, I bake, I cook. I'm basically a stay at home mom who has to work to pay the bills. I work at Cracker Barrel as a waitress and actually love it.
I hope to inspire others and help out if I can. So, off we go!
If you have any questions or things you like to know about me, just ask! I'm basically an open book. There's not much I wont talk about.
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