We went out Friday night! Yay!! John and I went to the local bar/restaurant. His friends were going there cause there was a good band playing. We got there early and sat at a table.... had a drink.... ordered a little appetizer to split..... listened to the band.... hmmm.... ok, now what? HA His friends were late and we are so old and out of the loop, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. It was so funny. What are you supposed to do in a bar? I jokingly said, lets bail and go to a movie. 5 min later he says, I really want to go to a movie now. LOL His friends got there and we left! We didn't even say hi to them. It was so funny. We're really lame.

**We went to see Brides Maids. OMG!! It was hysterical. If you haven't seen this movie, GO! Just great, pee your pants funny, good time movie. After, we went driving around trying to find a Dunkin Donuts that was open and that may actually HAVE donuts. I hate the fact that D&D stopped making the donuts in house. So a lot of the times you'll go there late and they wont have donuts. Uhm, HELLO!! The place is called Dunkin DONUTS!!! Which means, you should HAVE DONUTS! We did end up finding one and got home about 2 am.

**Woke up Saturday morning (way to early) and started making a list of all the things we needed to finish off Nick's NJ Project for school. Went shopping and came home to get it done. Half way through Nick says something about it being due Monday. I said, no, it's due Wednesday. We debate back and forth while I find the paper on it only to find out that it does have to be in Monday. CRAPTASTIC!! I really thought we would have more time. But NOOOoooo. Now we're rushing like crazy to get this thing done. He did a lot of it himself, but we had to really pitch in so it was done on time. I worked Sunday and then came home and put in a couple extra hours to finish off the project. But it was worth it. It came out great!

**We took a break from the project Saturday night to visit my friend. She has a new baby and she's very tiny and so cute. She also has a little girl who's almost 3 and she's adorable and loves playing with my kids. Calli said to me earlier that day, "Momma, I wish you would have another baby." After I stopped chocking, I informed her that was NOT going to happen and that's why mommy has friends who have babies so that I can play with them and give them back! I don't have to deal with them when they're 4 and having a temper tantrum and talking back. Woot, best of both worlds. It was nice hanging with Shawna and her gang. I miss adult conversations even if they revolve around the kids, it's still not talking TOO kids.

**Today is cleaning day. I had cleaned up last week, but due to NJ Project mayhem, it looks like a hurricane hit in here. There's just stuff everywhere and you know John didn't clean anything! Ug, MEN! Off to get started. I'll be home if anyone feels like cleaning with me.

I have a hot date tonight!! I told Calli that and she said, you can't go on dates, you have a husband. Yes you can, especially if it's your husband you're dating! We're going out tonight! And we're going out TOGETHER!! LOL This very rarely happens. I go out, he goes out, but one of us is always stuck home with the kids. Especially since our sitter has decided to grow up. She's 17 now and she thinks she has the right to go out and have fun with her friends! What's up with that crap? Luckily, tonight she was free and we can go out and play YAY!! We're just going to a local place, but hey, we're out without the kids! WOOT

**Crappy day at work today. It was soooo dead and they had way to many servers on. In 3 hours, I made 20. I had them cut me an hour early cause it was pointless. I hate days like that.

**Everyone who knows me knows that I have two black thumbs. I kill everything. So a few weeks ago I bought a really healthy looking tomato plant in hopes of keeping it that way. So far so good!! I kept it in its pot and on the front steps so I see it every day and remember to water it. John suggested planting it in the back yard, but I know if I do that, I'll forget about it, never water it and let it die. So, here's my plan. I bought a big pot to transplant it in so it has room to grow and keeping it on the porch. Cross your fingers folks!!

**Nick and I had the "talk" today. I kept telling John that he needed to do it but he refused. They gave them a talk about puberty at school today so I sat down with him to clear up any questions he might have had. He seemed really embarrassed at fist but I think me being calm about it helped him. I explained it all to him. He did ask how sex worked and I told him. I kept saying "This is not something you need to worry about for at LEAST 7 years!!" I'm not jaded. I know my kids are not going to wait till marriage for sex. They'll be teenagers like 95% of the rest of the world. But LATE TEENS is my goal. I stressed LOVE must be involved and all that jazz. I tried to make him as comfortable as possible so in the future, if he ever needs to talk about something, he knows he can come to me. I hope it works. I was very technical, but kept it on his level. He seemed to understand. My gosh, I can't believe he's at this age already. That he's even hitting puberty is CRAZY!! My baby isn't a baby anymore. :o( Two more years and I'll be having this same conversation with Calli. Ug!! Shoot me now.

**Ok, off to get dolled up for my hot date! Woot

I watched Barry Manilow on The Talk yesterday (LOVE THAT SHOW). I forgot how many of his songs I really like. I actually love me some Barry. BUT.... what the hell has he done to himself??? He's had so much plastic surgery he looks like he's dead. Ya know when you go to a funeral and you see the body in the casket and their skin is tight and the makeup is caked on? That's what his face is like. And between that and all the botox.... He was smiling and you couldn't even tell! I hate when people do that to themselves. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind plastic surgery for a lift here and there, but when you pull your skin so tight that you can't blink, that's too much. I was really enjoying the music, I just did my best not to look at the tv.

I had a feel good moment at work today. I had a couple of tables going. One was a woman and her son who was handicapped and another was a group of guys, workmen on lunch. When the guys were finished I gave them their check and one of the men asked for the ladies check as well. I smiled and handed it to him. He paid both checks, left me a hefty tip and asked that I not say anything till they were gone. When the woman was done and asked for her check I told her the gentleman at the other table paid it already. She looked at me and said "What? Why? Why would he do that??" I said, "I have no idea, just smile and pay it forward." She smiled, but I think she was in shock. LOL Who knows why he paid the bill. Maybe he has a disabled child of his own and knows the struggles, maybe he just won the lottery and picked a random table, maybe he was grateful the her child was the only kid in the place that wasn't screaming and he appreciated the behavior. We'll never know. But to that man... My hats off to you. Learn a lesson from him my friends.

May we all take a moment to try and make a random strangers life a little easier, whether it be paying the toll on the bridge for the guy behind you, picking up the check for a weary mom, or helping someone with their groceries. A small act that makes someone smile can make you smile as well and warm your hearts for a long time.

When I'm out and about, doing my grocery shopping or what have you, I make sure I use the facilities before I leave home. But on the rare occasion that I've had too much coffee or the shopping is taking longer then planned, I may need to use the loo. On these occasions, I usually try to hold it for as long as possible in hopes of getting out of there and home to my own potty so as to not have to use the public rest room.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! To all of those who use the public restrooms: It is a PUBLIC restroom, which means, more people than just YOU are going to be using it. Now I understand that some of you have the crazy "Ew, germs" fear of toilet bowls and refuse to sit even using the little paper sanitizer thingy. So, you do the hover. That's fine. I have no problem with the hover. The problem I have is now that you've hovered, you've proceeded to pee all over the seat. And what do you do? Do you have common courtesy and wipe the seat so the next person can use the facilities without being totally grossed out?? NNNOOOoooooo You pull up your pants and walk out like your urethra has perfect aim and would never allow a drop to spill in an unwanted area. Never even bothering to consider the poor soul who while trying to hold it till she gets home has now waited too long and is about to pee her pants. And she may just have too pee her pants because unlike the hoverers... some of us pee for longer periods of time and can not hover. We MUST sit and there is someone else's disgusting pee all over the seat.

Please note that I ALWAYS wipe the seat before I sit for two reasons. 1. To of course make sure the seat is (semi) clean and not wet and 2. that way you always know if there's toilet paper. My point is this, If I'm about to pee myself, a quick wipe down is ok. But when you now have to do a thorough cleaning and double to triple wipes because the seat is covered all while doing the criss cross pee pee dance, you may not make it. It is not fair to the sitters to have to suffer for the hoverers.

So Please, if you are a hoverer.... If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat! Jeeze louise!

That is my public service announcement for the day. Thank You

P.S. - FYI, I was able to hold it long enough to get a good wipe down. No clothing was pee'd on during the making of this blog.

It's hard to get to sleep when there isn't someone else in bed with you. Don't get me wrong, I like having the entire bed to myself to spread out and I love not having to kick said other person to get them to stop snoring. But, actually going into your empty room and getting in an empty bed is kind of unnerving. John had to go to NC yesterday for work. He'll be home tonight though, so I'll have someone to kick again. YAY

Ha, I have this little chinese woman who walks my road every day. Good for her getting her exercise. She's gotta be in her 60's and she walks up and down and backwards. But the funniest thing is she talks. I assume that she has a blue tooth in and is talking to someone, but that is just an assumption. LOL I've never actually seen a blue tooth in her ear. And boy does she get animated. She gets to yellin' in chinese and it's hysterical. Gotta love her.

Speaking of yelling. Our neighbors across the street ... whooo boy. Can that woman scream! I think she's right up there with John. Either her kids are awful or really slow or something cause she's in there at 7:30 or so just bustin' an aneurysm in her head screaming about teeth brushing and bookbags. The entire street can hear her with the windows open. I sit out on the front porch and just listen. Not because I'm nosey (although I totally am) it's more.... well, it makes me feel like a better mother. LOL Hey, I yell at the kids, don't get me wrong, but she's insane and her voice is very shrill. I know she's a crazy busy woman. I think at this point she has too much on her plate and she's lost her mind. I pray I don't get that bad.

So spring came and went in about 2 days flat. I don't understand what's happening with the weather. It's crazy. We went from the 30's to the 90's almost instantly. The next few days are supposed to be near 100. It's insane. BUT, the beginning of summer and the end of spring is a really good thing! Not only is the beautiful weather here, but it means the END OF SPORTS!! WOOT!! No more running from this event to that one, practices, missing cleats, uniforms and hats. No more 4 hour long track meets (that ones for John). Calli has one or two more games and Nick is down to just his banquet. It's a wonderful thing. We can all take a deep breath and relax a little bit. During the spring I get maybe one or two nights off a week. The weekends are booked and it feels never ending. Now it's a count down to the end of school.

The end of school means some good things and some bad.

Good: I no longer work during the week (the cost of a babysitter would negate any money I make).

Bad: I loose that income.

Good: I get to sleep in a little bit.

Bad: I'll be woken to the screams of "NICK STOP IT!!" or "Mom, I'm hungry"

Good: We'll have time to do things out and about.

Bad: We wont have the money to do things.

Good: The kids will be able to play outside all the time

Bad: The kids will tell me at least 100 times a day that they're bored and hungry!

Good: We have a pool in the backyard so the kids can swim all they want.

Bad: They kids will tell me every day that they don't want to swim in our pool, they want to go to Allison's!!

Good: I get to spend time with the kids that doesn't consist of us running from here to there.

Bad: I have to spend time with the kids while they try to kill each other for the next 2 months.

So see, there's always a dark side to the bright side. But.... HAPPY THOUGHTS!!

Happy Thoughts is my mantra. The folks at the Cracker Barrel know not to get cranky around me cause they'll have me yelling it in their ears. "Hey, none of that! Happy Thoughts!" Most of the time the response I get is, "Fuck your happy thoughts"... but, it always comes with a smile and I know I've cheered them up a little bit at least. I'm the Mom there and guidance counselor. I try to keep everyone happy as much as possible. Cause when they're miserable, the whole place goes to hell. Happy Thoughts make Happy People

Gotta clean my house today. That is my goal. I've been sick for the last couple days and haven't been able to do much. I did do the laundry and dishes, but that's about it. Today is cleaning. Mom's coming over tomorrow, so I need the house presentable. I hate having people come over when the house is trashed. BUT, I'm usually too lazy to clean it. LOL Hence, not many people come over. Although, you're ALWAYS welcome to come over. Just give me a little warning so I can shove everything in closets. And know that it wont be "clean", just picked up enough to not need the hazmat team.

Ok, enough procrastinating. MUST CLEAN BOOOooooooooo

The "sicks" have hit our house. Ug. I've been fighting a chest cold. Yesterday, I was miserable. If I coughed... OUCH! I actually called out of work which I NEVER do. Especially on a Sunday (my money day). But John worked a lot of overtime this week, so it balanced.

Calli was starting to feel it last night and woke up pretty crappy this morning. She didn't have a fever, so I sent her to school with instructions to go to the nurse if she's really miserable. We'll see if she lasts the day. I hate summer colds! You should never get sick in the summer. It ruins the fun.

I sat at Nick's last track meet yesterday. He did pretty well. Track is not his thing. He hates it and I think it was a one time deal. But trying something new is always important. He did improve over the season and that's great. We left early though. He had done some extra events so he didn't want to wait the hour or so for his last event (I didn't blame him). We missed some interesting happenings though. Apparently, during the down time in between events, some of the kids went into the woods and thought it would be fun to throw rocks into the parking lot. They then played target practice with the cars! They damaged 3 or 4 cars (two of which were coaches) and set off an alarm which brought people looking and got them busted. Police were called and needless to say, our coach is PISSED!!

I can't imagine what the parents of those kids are feeling right now. I'm sure they are freaking out. I'm just glad it wasn't my kid! Thank God! I can say, NICK DIDN"T DO IT! What were these kids thinking?? Throw rocks.. ok... Hit cars with them???? WHAT? That's just crazy. Unfortunately, I know that Nick is such a follower, that if he was there with them, he probably would have done it too. So glad we left. Although, Nick has to stay with us during meets because there is so much down time, he easily gets in trouble. I used it as a teaching tool this morning though. I told him what happened and then gave him a big long speach about it. Basically, if you ever did something like that, this, this, this and this would happen. Blah blah blah, I'm sure I sounded like the Peanuts teacher by the end. But hopefully it sunk it that doing something like that is NOT a good idea.

We walked the Denville street festival afterwards, but I was feeling so awful, I just wanted to go home. We watched Gnomeo & Juliet which was cute and then John and I watched 127 Hours. That's the movie about the guy that went climbing and the rock fell and caught his arm and he had to cut his arm off to save himself. It was pretty intense. Poor guy!! Would I do that? Would I say "Fuck it" and die there or would I be able to cut my arm off and walk out with my stump. I don't know. I don't think I would worry about the loss of the arm. It would be the actual cutting off of the arm that would cause me pause. I can't handle a stubbed toe!!

Ok, on a new tangent.... Like I said before, I went back and read all my old posts. I talk a lot about how crappy my memory is. Well, apparently that is correct, because I couldn't remember half of what I wrote!! I'm laughing at all this stuff and reading it to John. (He didn't remember some of it either so I didn't feel too bad). Damn kids suck your brain cells out and they never regenerate! I really need to keep up with the blog so I can look back at it when I'm in my 80's and know what I did! My entire life is just a whisper in the wind. What I really need is to have our lives on one of those reality shows. Have cameras around us all the time so that its all caught on tape and we can never forget it. Although... having everything we do and say on tape.... maybe not such a good idea. LOL

I have more to say, but I think I've changed subjects enough for today. More tomorrow. Off to do laundry, yup, still have that to do constantly!

Long Time, No Type

I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I've written my blog. Two Years!! That's just crazy. A friend recently mentioned that he missed reading it so I thought I would run down memory lane and see what I wrote.

I just spent the last 2 days re-reading all my posts. I think some of them are missing. Especially the very first ones. They're all gone, but that's all right.

Dang, I was a miserable son of a bitch, wasn't I? I can't believe how down I was all time. I didn't have many good things to say, although I did say it very eloquently. I didn't realize how well I wrote. LOL

I do realize that most of this was written pre-surgery which would explain the depression and also that was not a great time for John and I.

Boy, how times have changed....

The last time I wrote, we had just moved to Rockaway. Well, we've been here two years now and are really happy. I love this town. Always have. The kids are in school and are both doing great. Nick started main stream school this year and really happy.

John's working at a place he likes (so far). He's not making great money, but enough. I work part time at Cracker Barrel. I went back to my roots, waitressing. It works well for our schedule. I work while the kids are at school and on Sundays. During the summer, I only work Sundays. How many jobs will let you do that??? None. Our collars couldn't be any bluer at this point, but hey, we're the typical American family.

We've semi gotten our finances in order. The house still hasn't sold in Byram. Can you believe that!! It's still sitting there. Waiting for foreclosure, but we've just pretty much forgotten about it. That's the past. We've gotten most of our bills paid off (through the help of friends) and now we're trying to pay off those friends. Always in debt I guess. John was getting paid a lot last year with his last job (but insane hours) but the new job is a lot less. At this point we are just getting by so of course, paying others off is going to take longer than we hoped. But it WILL happen damnit. I'm determined! At least at this point we're not stressing over whether we'll have money for the bills. It's always there! That's an amazing feeling.

I think being able to pay the bills has done a number on us. It's changed our lives for the better. John and I rarely fight anymore (not never, but rarely LOL) We're less stressed and just happier people.

I've been at 150 pounds for almost 2 years now. It's awesome. I'm in a size 6. Can you believe that? From a 18 - 22 to a 6! Yay Surgery! I'm still not happy with my body though (of course). I really want a body lift! Boobs, tummy, butt, arms. I look really good in clothes, but naked.... not so much. I look like the incredible melting woman. It's sad, but hey, I look good in clothes. LOL

My mood is definitely MUCH better. I still have my days where I hate everyone and everything, but that's mostly my PMS times.

So, hopefully, I'll start this blog back up and running and have way better things to talk about... happier things.

I'm off to work now. More to come!

I'm sooooooo done unpacking. Ok, not literally, but spiritually, I'm done. I have spent all week busting my butt trying to get all this shit put away, plus working two of the days, it's been hectic. I'm not done by a long shot. I still have a ways to go and every time I think I'm almost done.... more boxes appear! It's like some wicked kind of magic.

I had opened all the boxes and realized that the box with all John's work uniforms was missing. I panicked. I know there is nothing left at the other house except for the left over garage sale stuff, so it's not there. I think I rechecked each box about 4 times... nothing. After some careful thinking I came to the conclusion that someone must have accidental placed that box in the attic. Now, understand that I had just PACKED the attic. Oh joy. So yesterday I pulled everything out of the attic on a mad hunt. TA DAAAA, found them, thank God. I also realized that the attic is ginormous! So I was able to put it all back in a much more organized fashion. OH, and after I had gotten a flashlight so I could see all the way to the back, I saw that the owners had left a big plasma tv in there... PAYDIRT!! WOO HOO, how cool is that?!!? Not so cool as it turns out. I crawl back there only to realize that the screen is all smashed up. Darnit! Oh well. Anyway, the attic is all neatly put together. Now I just have to find room for the rest of this crap.

I've already found 4 large boxes of stuff to purge for garage sale. That's good right?? Not to mention all the stuff I got rid of pre-move. I don't know how I became such a pack rat. I like "things"! Then when I'm done getting everything out of boxes, a lot of it has to be reorganized. My kitchen is just not working for me. I have to adjust a lot of stuff. My goal is to have the house in order and presentable to the public by next weekend.

I still have such a long to do list. Finish Calli's kindergarten registration which includes getting a physical for her, and a birth certificate since hers is not where it's supposed to be. Sign the kids up for the rec program so Nick can play football. Sign them up for the reading program (which sign ups are tomorrow - someone remind me). Figure out all our bills, set up the filing cabinet and get on a schedule. And get Nick's social security forms filled out. Now I know you don't care about any of this, but I'm writing it down for me not you, so you can ignore this paragraph. LOL There's so much more... I think I need to sit and write it all out.

Holy STRESS BATMAN. Speaking of stress. John's blood pressure has been through the roof and they have put him on some meds, including xanax. Oh Yeah Baby!! Bought damn time. Hopefully it'll calm him a little bit.

Damn, totally forgot what I was just about to say... arg, it's probably cause I'm so damn tired. A very crazy week, and then at Shell's till 3:30 or so and going to sleep about 4:30 and getting woken up at 7:30. (all times are AM) LOL I don't work well on 3 hours of sleep. I need at least 8. So I'm wiped. I really wanted to take a nap today, but it just didn't happen.

Today was father's day. I got up and made John a big breakfast. In the afternoon, we went to pick up our new friends. Now I know I've said no more animals, but .... but,.... but.... as new members to mom's bird club, we were told about a couple that had 2 yellow hooded amazons that needed a home. They were no longer home enough to care for them and wanted to find something better. We went to see them and packed them up. LOL They are BIG talkers. Holy crow. They sing, they making kissing noises, say hello, night night (when they want their cover on to go to sleep) they say "I can talk, can you fly?" HA wise asses. They have a 40 phrase vocabulary right now that we hope to expand on. We were originally only going to take one, but they are said to be siblings and had been together since birth. I feared the separation would kill them (totally possible in big birds). So, we thought we'd try it out with the two and see how it goes, if it doesn't work, we'll find a home for one of them. They are very sweet and handelable. Even being as scared as they were with the move, we were able to hold them. Very cool. We need to work on their names though. I'm being told that at 6 years old, it's to late to change them, but Trinidad & Tobago... No thank you. I told John maybe we'll just shorten them to Trinny and Tobby or something.

Ok, fingers are cramping. I will really try to post more often. Cause, ya know, my boring life is just so captivating! HA!

I can't believe I am saying this, but in approximately 2 1/2 weeks we will be moving BACK TO ROCKAWAY!!

We finally found a house to rent. Single family, on a dead end street, fenced in yard and semi affordable. I will most likely have to get a job or get the Mary Kay in gear to cover it, but I think we'll be fine. Now the craziness begins.

I have to change/cancel/connect all the utilities, register Calli for kindergarten, transfer Nick's school, change of address, renter's insurance, football registration..... Not to mention trying to get this house all packed up. UG!

We had a full weekend and of course today I woke up, couldn't eat cause I had to get blood work done (surgery follow up), go do that, go to the bank to get the security deposit and drop that off to Rich. By the time I was done, I had a RAGING headache. Wahhh. So I came home and ate something and took a nap for an hour. I still feel like doodie though. So no packing got done today. Tomorrow I'll start. Of course I have to find more boxes though, otherwise our entire house will be packed in small Mary Kay boxes that I got from clearing out Margaret's storage room.

We're helping our friends Lea and Tom move this weekend and then our niece's birthday party is on Sunday, so that will blow some time. The following weekend is the town wide garage sale... which works out since I was planning one for this weekend and then realized we wont be home for most of it. So I'll try to get everything packed and then whatever is left will be sold. Then the following weekend is move in. EEEKKKK!! (Allison, garage saleing with you is still on, I may just have to shorten my attendance time though, otherwise John will kill the children or sell them!)

I'm really happy, I just don't think it's sunk in yet that we're really moving. I can't wait till it's done and I can get the kids settled. Not to mention being only 2 minutes from Shell! How cool is that?!?!

Everyone else is good. Well, they are now at least. My niece called me last week and told me they had an accident. She tripped over the dog while carrying the baby and fell. The baby hit his head and got a knot so they took him to the hospital. Unfortunately, it turned out that he had fractured his skull. Poor baby! They sent him to the bigger hospital and kept him over-night running tests and so forth. But all was well. They sent him home the next evening with just "watch him" instructions and to come back in six weeks to check the fracture. Of course Cassy was a mess, it being her first baby and him only being a month old. I tried to calm her, but it's hard when you're 1,500 miles away. Luckily it wasn't worse than it was and he's doing fine now. But we were worried there for a while. Love and prayers for little Madden.

Otherwise.... hmmm, oh, jeeze, I'm reading My Sister's Keeper. Not a good choice if you're a mom. I swear I keep checking my kids for bruises and every time they cough or something, I'm picturing chemo or something horrible. I love to read. Anyone who knows me knows I'm addicted really. But I always seem to get so engrossed in a book that I can actually FEEL it. I swear that when I read The Stand by Stephen King, I had a cold through the ENTIRE BOOK! I'm such a dork. This current book is really good. I, unfortunately, skipped to the end like I always do and got a shock that I wasn't expecting. I usually don't mind these surprises, but for some reason, this one hit me kinda hard and I'm not liking the fact that I'm getting closer and closer to that end. I don't want it to end that way, but such is life.

Coffee break, please hold..... Aaaahhhhh, yum

It's freezing in my house. Of course we have no heat, so when the air dips outside, it plummets inside. It's about 55 in here now. Arg. I can't wait to move!!!

So, if anyone is around and available to help me pack for the next 2 weeks, feel free to stop buy, and if anyone is available the weekend of the 13/14 of June, come grab a box!! Lunch will be served to all who help. Nothing like my usual meals, sad to say, but I'm sure pizza and beer can be arranged.

That's it for now, I'm going to go bundle up in a blankey.

I hate the sun!

Ok, so I don't really hate the sun, I just wish it would wait to rise until say, 9 AM. You see, when the sun is up and bright at 6:30 in the morning, it goes right into my daughter's room and wakes the sleeping demon - I mean princess. So then she is up when I'm trying to get Nick out the door. Mayhem ensues. Plus, when she gets up that early, she gets really cranky in the afternoon and naps have seem to eluded her lately unless we're driving in the car. Not to mention that there's also times that I'm just really tired in the morning and want to go back to sleep! Damn kids.

This week seems to be "catch up with old friends" week. Monday I had lunch with my friend Yesi which was fun. She walked into the restaurant looked toward me and then kept looking around trying to find me! LOL It was really good to see her. Yesterday, I spent a few hours with my dear friend Donna. I love that chick! She's the best. She's one of those friends that can always make you laugh until you cry even when you're desperately depressed. She's a good one to keep around. Who else wants to visit me???

So, I'm out of books! ARG. Now, I know most of you are saying, so what? But let me tell you something. I need my books! I usually have at least 3 books running at a time. I've read everything in my house. My cousin is supposed to give me some, but I haven't gotten them yet. I have my e-book, but I didn't really want to spend the money to order any for it right now. I'll have to go on and see if there's any good deals to be had so I have something to read. I actually want to check out Michael J. Fox's new book. I saw the special they did based on it, but I'd love to read it. It's all about how even though life has given him a very tart glass of lemonade, he's still the eternal optimist. A big saying in the Mary Kay world is "What you think about, you bring about". I do believe that. I need to start thinking about living in a big house and paying hardly anything for rent!

So, that's what I'm off to do, find a good book to read. Have a great day people.

Here's some pics from Easter at my mom's house. She has crazy deer that come right up to the house to eat and hang out. I thought I'd show how close they really get.

Update:
The house buying thing isn't going to work out. Although it was a great idea, financially it was a no go. We would have been able to afford it, but the upfront costs would have wiped out our friends and that's just not an option. So we're back to looking for something to rent. We found something we want, in an area we want, but they turned us down because our credit was too low. Damn credit!!! So we're still on the hunt.

I went to a tricky tray last week with the girls. It was lots of fun and my luck held out. I was the only one of us who won anything (sorry girls!). I made out really well. Actually, the kids made out really well. I didn't win anything for myself! I got a bunch of Thomas trains, which when I went online and added it up came up to over $160 worth! I also got a basket of stuff for Calli which included cheerleading gear, a puzzle, a snow cone maker and some arts and crafts stuff. I also won a a puppet theater and a couple of puppets. Calli loves that. It has a fake clock on the top and she keeps moving the hands and says, "The next show is in 5 minutes!" She then makes everyone sit and watch her shows. LOL They only last about a min, but are very cute.

Saturday, they had the NJ Pet Expo at the fair grounds and Mom's bird club was there so we went to see. She had to do a little speech and had brought her Cockatoo with her. I ended up holding him most of the time. He's the only one of her birds that I can hold and not fear that he'll take my face off. LOL I found out later that some chick was taking pics of me with him for the paper. Check out the Daily Record folks, I may be in there! I looked in yesterday's paper, but didn't see it. After the expo, we took Mom out to Pub 517 (it's the sister restaurant to Pub 199 for you locals) for a Mother's Day dinner. It's in a much prettier setting but has the same food and same prices. Mom and I had lobster and steamers! YUM!!! Not that I could eat it all. I ended up eating about a dozen steamers and a claw of the lobster. LOL I took the other claw home and gave Mom the tail. It was Good Eats!

Mother's Day Sunday, I woke up to John basically throwing a plate at me that had a scrambled egg on it and a piece of toast. He was all pissy and said the kids were driving him nuts. He wasn't feeling good and that's all I was getting. I said, what about all the other stuff I bought? The bacon? The croissants? The hashbrowns? The cinnamon rolls? Nope, he didn't feel like cooking all that. So eat what I had and like it. I was so upset! I started crying, said, "I can't believe you! I had to go out and buy this stuff myself and you can't even cook it for me on Mother's Day?" WTF........

Then I REALLY woke up!!! It was all a bad dream LOLOLOLOL John walked in with a silver platter! Holding all the yummy things I had purchased and a steaming cup of coffee. He set me all up and then went back down with the kids to give me time to eat in peace. Then a little later he and the kids joined me in bed and we watched a movie together. It was very nice! Later in the day, we all got dolled up and went to a play at the local playhouse. The were doing the Never Ending Story. It was so good. The kids really enjoyed it. I had a great time. We stopped at the movie store to rent The Neverending Story so the kids could see it, but they only made it through about a half hour before they were passing out. We'll finish it tonight.

All in all, it was a great day.

Today I have an unemployment meeting (joy) and then I'm meeting an old co-worker/friend for lunch. She hasn't seen me post-surgery, so this should be fun! LOL I love the shocked look on peoples faces when they see me. Oh, I took some pics of me and the kids yesterday when we were all dressed up. John had to run to get his phone fixed, so I took the kids out on the front porch for a photo shoot. And the sweetest thing..... A women actually pulled over on the road and asked if I would like her to take a picture of all of us together. How sweet is that!?! The chick has some serious good karma! I didn't take her up on it (I didn't want her to have to waste her time and I was just taking some silly pics), but still!!! Too nice. I'll put them on here as soon as I can. The dress I'm wearing in the pictures, I found in my closet. It's a size 20, but it's the only dress I had and thank God it was a tie back. There is so much material in the back, it looks pleated!! LOL Plus I had to pin the cleavage together. Hey, it worked in a pinch! I really have to go buy a little black dress for just in case moments like these. BTW, if anyone fits in a 20 and would like the dress I'm wearing, let me know, it's yours! It's really comfy and pretty.

Ok, that's it for now, must go shower.

I was reminded last night that I have been seriously shirking my blogging duties, so I thought I'd send out an update. It's been soooo crazy here, I can't even tell you.

So, I was supposed to spend last weekend in Florida, house hunting. I didn't go. About a week before I was to leave, Shelly (my best friend) came over to spend some quality time. (That "impending move" sadness) We were even working out having her come down with me. As the kids ran around the house playing, we talked. Then she asked why we didn't just rent in NJ. I explained that it was too expensive. We looked at some listings on the internet and somehow the conversation got turned to buying a house, which we obviously can't do since our credit is so screwed and the bank is about to take this one away. So out of the blue, she says, what if we buy a house and you can rent from us..... WHAT??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Tim would never go for that. She said, Hell, it's worth a shot. She called him and explained and do you know, he said yes. Just like that, Sure, why not. SHOCK!!! I can't even tell you how I felt. How nice it was too have friends who love you that much.

So we started scouring the internet looking for something cheap enough. We enlisted Rich to do his realtor duties and get us into some houses. We did a few days worth of drive bys. The first one we went into wasn't horrible, but it needed a ton of work, not to mention the underground oil tank that looked like it had liquid in it (not a good thing).

The second one... whoooo boy. It was a decent house, and a really nice piece of property. Not in the best area, but beggars can't be choosers. So anyway, we go to the house, knock on the door and someone answers.... no one speaks english, ok, no big deal. We walk in to see/hear a SCREAMING little naked boy (ok, so he had on undies, but the little speedo type so naked is a good call) He was running through the house, screaming and throwing cars across the floor, at windows and I may have ducked once. Then the smell hit us smack in the face. They had just cooked dinner which was some sort of .... uh.... ??food?? I'm not sure. It was a big mass of brown liquidy stuff on a plate with some beans floating in it. I don't know, but it smelled awful. We go into the bedroom to find a bed, into another bedroom to find 2 more beds. Then upstairs to find a lot more beds, 1 guy, 3 women and 4 kids. Ok. It wasn't to bad, needed work, but it was alright. We thought we'd go look in the basement to check plumbing and so forth. The only access is from bilco doors on the outside. Rich opens the doors, walks down the stairs, opens the main door and SURPRISE!! There's people down there. There were like 4 more beds and 3 or 4 more guys down there. IMMIGRATION!!!!! Holy cow. If that wasn't bad enough, someone was upstairs taking a shower and ALL the water was pouring directly down into the basement into a make-shift bucket that was overflowing onto the floor. NICE! This property had a small garage that we couldn't get in, a two car garage that was packed with crap including a large construction machine thingy and then a shed in the back that was stacked almost to the ceiling with garbage, like actual garbage. YUCK

It's so much fun looking at houses. Cause no matter how bad you think your house is, there's always one worse!

We now have our eye on a place in Dover. It's vacant (THANK GOD!), it's old and needs some work but not nearly as bad as the other two. Aunt Irene, it's like our old Dover house with the walk up attic made into bedrooms and then the actual attic off one of them. It's got a fenced in yard and is on a much nicer street. So, right now we're waiting for the mortgage chick to get back to Shell on all the financing stuff. Cross your fingers everyone. Cause if we don't find something soon.... we'll be knocking on your door with suitcases in hand. HA LOL (Sooooo not kidding!)

We had someone come look at our house on Friday, he then came back on Sunday and the realtor told me he really liked it and would probably be putting in an offer this week. Still no word on that. Ho hum, I'm really hoping this house sells instead of foreclosing. That would make it a lot easier for us to get out of the hole.

On some really happy news.... I am a GREAT AUNT!! Cassy had her baby on Saturday, April 25th at 12:19am. She was lucky to have our genetics. She had barely any labor pains and went only an hour and a half from the time it started with her water breaking to pushing him out. No drugs, to ripping or tearing. The doctor didn't even make it, he was delivered by the nurses. Madden James was 6lbs, 9oz and 19in long. YAYAY

Isn't he cute!! I can't tell who he looks like. I think he's a daddy's boy at this point. But he's so tiny, we'll have to wait until he gets some meat on his bones to really tell. Sooooo cute.

So that's where we're at right now. Still up in the air, but STAYING IN NEW JERSEY!! Woo HOOooo!! Cross all your fingers and toes, say a prayer to God or Ala or whomever, do a fire dance, I don't care, just send us some good vibes people!!

I just made the best Beef Barley Soup EVER!! And of course it was a total accident like most of my food.

I made a pot roast for dinner. Did the normal deal with that, floured and seasoned the meat, shoved some garlic into it, seared it with oil, added water half way up and threw a lid on it. Oh, I threw in a couple beef bouillon cubes in it too. An hour or so later, I tasted the broth and it was very bland so I added salt, pepper and some garlic salt. A while later I added chopped onion, fresh tomatoes and carrots. Let it finish cooking. When it was done there was a ton of liquid left so I went to make gravy with it. Added some flour but as it was thickening, I was thinking of soup. So I didn't let it get to thick.

When dinner was over, I took all the left over meat, chopped it up, threw in all the left over carrots, added a half a bag of barley and some more water. I then turned the stove back up and walked away. Uhmmmm and forgot about it. OOOPPSSS. Hee hee hee. When the kids came in for the meds/vitamins at bed time, I walked into the kitchen and said, OH CRAP!! I ran over to it and discovered that unstirred barley burns to the bottom of the pan. Ooops again. So I dumped it into another pot and scrapped the unburnt layer off the bottom of the pan and put it in the other. I stirred and tasted and WAAPOW!! IT WAS AWESOME! HA, gotta love oopses. I'll have to make sure to burn it every time I make it now. Hee hee, or maybe just figure out how to make it taste like that without burning it. Oh man, that's so much harder.

Picked up the kids from my inlaws today (they slept over last night) and took them to the park. I ran home and got the bat and ball and we played that for a while. I climbed through all the playground and even went down the slide (it was nice to fit on it). We had a good day.

Last night while the kids were at grandma and grandpa's, John and I went with the gang to a tricky tray. It was lots of fun. We won a bunch of games and a basket of italian food, pasta, sauces, dipping oil. Yummo!

(Sorry, jumping around on times here)

On the way to drop the kids off, we were chatting in the car and I can't remember what exactly was said (mommy brain) but my dear, sweet daughter ... Something was said about "10 years ago" and Calli says "10 years ago? That's when the dinosaurs were here, isn't it Mamma?" Oh my lord in heaven, Yes honey, I used to ride the dinosaurs to work every day. Those damn things crapped everywhere and were so loud. Not to mention that you had to keep them from eating you on the way. Oh boy, I'm old!

Can you imagine what it will be like when our kids have kids? I mean, so much has changed in just my life time. Our kids don't know what a black and white tv is, or what it's like to GET UP to change the 13 channels you had to choose from. They don't know what a rotary dial telephone is or how to go a day without a cell! They don't know what it's like to have no choice but to go outside and play cause there sure as hell wasn't anything to do in the house. They will never know the joy of sitting in the "way back" of the station wagon that has the roll down rear hatch window. (Thank God Mom never had an accident with us back there.) They wont know that computers were for rich people and even if you did have one, it was only really used for book keeping or typing letters since DOS didn't offer up easy game play. No internet, no cell phones, no IPods, no game systems. Just pure, unadulterated sunshine, air, a bike, or a bat and ball. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to go back to that, and then I reach from my cell to call and tell someone. HA I don't think so! Time marches on. What will this world look like in another 20 years. I can't even imagine.

Wow, I really rambled on there. hmmm interesting.

Shockingly, I'm actually feeling a little better about the move. I spent Monday on the phone with folks from the FL board of education. I got the right people this time and got to hear the things I needed to hear.

They are well prepared for all of Nick's needs. They will evaluate his IEP as soon as I get it to them and work on placement. They said that if the school district I am in does not have the services he requires, I can put him in any of the other public schools I want. Most of the public schools offer special programs for kids like Nick. If that is also not appropriate, they have Charter schools that he can go too which are even more specialized. If neither of these systems will work for him, then he can go to a specialized school as a last resort (that's the one you have to get scholarships for). Both women I spoke with were very well informed.

By some miracle, the weekend that I will be down there house hunting is the same weekend that they are having an Autism Festival. In going to this, I will be able to meet most of the teachers, the doctors in the area, the psychiatrist, the therapist, the people who run summer programs, basically everyone that I will need for his care, treatment and education will be at this event. How perfect is that!! It made me relax sooooo much, I can't even tell you. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It took me 6 + months and a nervous breakdown when I had to find him all that the first time. The thought of having to do that again was daunting.

Although I'm still not 100% happy about this move, I'm at least not panicking that it will be a devastating decision for Nick. I think that was my biggest fear. He's doing so well in this school and finally had all his treatment in place, I was terrified to change that. But it looks like it will be ok. PHHHeeewwwww.

So now my only distress is to leave my friends and family. I can't tell you how much it hurts. I can't imagine not being able to go over to Shell's for no reason (which I plan to do today hee hee) or do game night, work out with Lea every morning, or have my mom stop over after work, or go to her house for the day so the kids can race around the yard and feed the deer. But, the phones work. I plan to be a telephone nuisance.

Trust me, I have gone over and over it in my head. I have tried my damndest to figure out how we could stay, but it's just not an option. I would have to get a full time job, which wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that Calli starts Kindergarten in Sept. so I would have to be allowed an 1 1/2 for lunch to pick her up and drop her off. Not to mention that Nick can not go to an after school program so I would have to be home by 3:30. No one will hire me to work from 8:30 - 2:30 with an hour and a half lunch and still pay me over $45,000 a year. It just wont happen. So the decision is made. And although it wont make everyone happy, it's the only option there is.

So be happy for me. Encourage me. Tell me all the great things about living in FL. Send me happy vibes about all of it cause if everyone keeps telling me that we can't go cause they'll miss us, I'm going to cry for the next 2 months straight!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

I will never peal a potato again!! Check this out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4W0qIPJmoo

At first I thought my gloom and doom feelings were to be paid attention too. Like something was going to happen. Then I thought, Oh you know what, I'm PMSing, which usually gives me that gloom and doom feeling. Then I find out from other family members that I'm not alone. My one cousin saw the spirit of one of our Great Aunt's (who has not passed yet, by the way), my sister has been having dreams of our old home town and a lot of fighting and general bad feelings, my other cousin in CA has even been feeling off and that something is about to happen. So far, my Godmother's long time boyfriend (loooonnnngggg time) passed away suddenly. That's one. It comes in threes around here. I hate the waiting. Although I don't want anything bad to happen, when I know it's going too, I just want to get it over with. Arg.

I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. I realized that even with all John's bitching about the lack of his sleep, he's still getting almost twice as much as I am. I'm always tired during the day and then at night, I'm wide awake. I can't seem to fall asleep. I'm usually up till around 1am and then I have to get up with Nick at 6:30. 5 1/2 hours sleep just doesn't do it for me. I've tried taking sleeping pills, but I'm so sensitive to medicine that, yes it knocks me out, but then I can't get up! Yesterday, I was just sooooo tired. After dinner, I took a nice, extremely hot bath. John was so sweet. He came in with candles and turned down all the lights for me. Awww. He even gave me a back rub. I don't know if it was the bath, the massage or the complete lack of sleep, but by 10 pm I was out! YAY me! And I got up this morning and didn't feel like I had to go back to sleep or fall over. Those extra few hours did me good. Now if only I could figure out how to do that every night without having to take baths and get massages (not that I minded!)

Oh, last night we had a super yummy dessert! I had run to the store for ketchup (meatloaf night) and I saw that they had strawberries on sale and they looked good. They also had those little sponge cake rounds things that they always have with berries to make like strawberry shortcake. I looked at the label and saw that there was a TON of sugar in those so was about to change my mind when I saw sugar free ones!! YAY I also found sugar free (calorie free, fat free, everything free) chocolate dipping sauce. I know that sounds like it would be gross, but it's made by the company that makes some of my favorite salad dressings which are also free of everything so I thought I would try it. And I grabbed some spray cool whip (which has less than 1 gram of sugar in it). So I sliced up the strawberries and sprinkled a little of a new sweetener I found (viu or something... just like splenda but doesn't have the funky after taste). After dinner I took my little cakes, scooped some chocolate sauce in the center, topped it with the berries and the whipped cream and VIOLA!! A completely yummy dessert with only about 5 grams of sugar (natural berry sugars). The kids skipped the berries. Calli likes strawberries, but didn't want to mix them with the other stuff and Nick doesn't like them at all. So they just had the cake, chocolate and cream. It was sooooo yummy I can't even tell you. Which only proves that I'm PMSing because all I can think about is eating! And that sucks cause I can hardly eat anything! WAH!

5 More pounds until I hit the 100 pound weight loss mark! Sooner or later. I need to start working out more. We had to take off most of last week because the kids were home sick and of course I can't seem to get my ass in gear to do it by myself. Damn elliptical broke! Anyway, I hope to find a cheap gym to join once we move.

Ok, off to dress my kid so we can go do the aforementioned work out. Tah.

Ok, totally crazy morning. I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with my old ex-friend (strange) that we were in Rockaway (my old home town) and watching some kind of dancing parade at my old school. Then we walked back to my old house and we were drinking beer (strange, I don't drink beer). When I woke up, my head was pounding like I had a hangover. WTF!

My head was pounding so bad I thought I would take a hot shower. As I was in the shower, I just had this feeling of impending doom. When I got out, I looked in the mirror and my face had exploded with my rosacea. That usually only happens when I'm severely stressed. I went out and smoked a ciggy and all these thoughts started racing through my head. Like, I had to call my sister to tell her that our Aunt died. Then it switched to my Mom died and I had to plan her funeral. That people were calling about the house and I was just telling them I couldn't deal with that right now because my mother had just passed away. I was thinking about how I was going to tell my sisters, how I was going to put it all together. I then started yelling at myself to stop thinking like that (I believe in that whole think about, bring about thing). But that sense of something horrible about to happen wont leave me. I just kept thinking, you need to call Mom right now.

I did call her and she's fine, but in my family, when people feel that something bad is going to happen, we go on red alert because we're usually right. I'm only about 50/50 on my feelings unless it's a cop up ahead on the road, then I'm always right, but the rest of the women in my family are usually dead on. So the word is being spread to see if anyone else is feeling it. My sister Joanne is usually the first one to feel it, but it's too early to call her right now. I'm hoping this is one of my off feelings cause this one is bad, very bad. I don't like it.

Ok, off that subject. On to my sick house. Nick was sick with fevers and a cough the beginning of the week. Then John got a cold. Mostly congestion, but of course he's dying! LOL MEN! Now Calli's got a cough and she said this morning that she has a tummy ache and a headache. Nick still has a nasty cough, but no more fevers. John's still dying. Oh lord. I pray I don't get it. My house would fall down if I was sick. God forbid MOM gets sick! Although, I have to say, I kinda like it when the kids are sick. They're so calm and snuggly. LOL I know. I'm a horrible mother, but all you mom's out there are thinking the same thing, don't deny it!

My house is cold this morning. We're almost out of wood. Probably only have a day or so left, but I really don't want to have to pay for another cord. I don't think we're going to need it and I don't want to waste the money. Of course, you know what's going to happen. We don't get anymore and then the temp drops to nothing for the next month and we freeze. Arg. At least we haven't run out this year. One of our neighbors has been getting it for us, and cheap to boot!

Ok, well, I guess I should go do something with my disaster of a house. My poor daughter hasn't had any jammas in a week or so cause she only has a couple that fit and they're all in the laundry that I've been desperately avoiding. Maybe if she didn't change pj's 15 times a day, she would have them to wear at night!

Casino Night was lots of fun as usual. They had a ton of great food and double the prizes as last year. But there was also double the people so I didn't really get a lot of play time in. It was nearly impossible to find an open seat! The rest of the gang played craps all night, but I'm not really good at that game. We did a little texas hold'um and black jack. Unfortunately, we didn't win anything. Shell and Tim and Allison cleaned up though!! Allison won a month of gymnastics at the place where Calli goes (the same prize I won last year) and she was sweet enough to give it to me! Very awesome! Shelly won a godiva basket, tickets to a kids play place, dinner at the Mohegan Sun and a casino night (TOTALLY COOL! - they bring in the tables and a croupier and everything for you). They last two were from the big ticket prizes. They were very lucky. Of course I would have liked to win some stuff, but that's ok. It was still a fun night.

We went to a birthday party for one of my mom's co-workers kids on Saturday night. It was a little weird. First, we didn't know anyone there. Then, they asked that all the kids get dressed up. Like formal dress. And the party didn't start until after 6pm, kinda late. They had a ton of food which was all good and some of it was really spicy. The father is Jamaican so there was a lot of that kind of food. They also had a live Jamaican band, who by the way, were outstanding. They sang everything, not just reggae and let me tell you, you would have thought they were playing cd's. Yeah, that good! By 10pm, we left. It was just getting too late and we were all tired.

Yesterday was an easier day. We cleaned for a showing that lasted all of 2 minutes. John fixed my car, brakes and something with the cat converter that was all busted up. I took the kids to go see the Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile! The kids played outside for a little while until Nick came in saying he was tired. 20 min later I go upstairs to find him passed out in his bed. Wow, I thought, Mom must have really worn him out. When he woke up later, he was running a high fever and had a very painful cough. Oh boy, not worn out, sick. Great! This morning I got up and checked his temp again and it was back up, so I sent him back to bed and called him out of school. Right now he's just laying on the couch looking miserable. Poor kid. We'll see if I can get his fever down. I don't really want to take him to the dr. just so they can tell me he has a cold. That's so annoying.

Oh well, let's just cross our fingers that no one else gets it. Ta For Now

Need your help

My dearest friend Michelle makes these wonderful cakes (as you know!). She would love to start a business doing it but is having trouble with the pricing issue. Below is a link to her Facebook photo album with pictures of some of her cakes. If you could please go on there and set a price for each cake so we can kind of average out and get a better idea of what she should charge. Please BE HONEST! Don't worry about her feelings or any of that. She wants your honest opinion of how much you think a cake like that should cost. And don't let other people's prices bias you either. State you're own opinion. Don't worry about the first few cakes. Those are from when she was just learning hee hee hee, BOY has she improved! Pretty much just look at the ones I posted prices too. Happy pricing and thanks for your help!!

She said she opened this up to the public, so the link should work. Please let me know if it doesn't.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=16152&id=1055700268

You know you're a paranoid mother when....

Last night, Calli, John and I were sitting on the couch. We were just playing and talking and I notice a very ugly looking mole on Calli's neck just below her jaw line. I touch it and feel that it's very raised and realize that it wasn't there a day or two ago. I immediately got very concerned and planned to call the dr. first thing in the morning. John looked at it and agreed that it was unusual. After a minute or two he called her over to look at it again. Then said to me, what did she have for lunch? I said, pb&j. He then proceeds to scrape off the "mole". Seems it was just a bit of jelly. hee hee, oops. I guess maybe it's better to jump to a conclusion concerning your kids health then to not notice at all.... right???

Speaking of Calli, the child NEVER STOPS TALKING! Mom said I was like that too and now I wonder how the hell that woman is sane at all. My God! It's just non-stop. She can talk about anything, and if she doesn't have a subject, she starts making up stories. It amazes me what she comes up with. Lately, I've just been sitting there watching her talk and watching the faces she makes (which are hysterical). She has such an imagination. I really have to try to get some of it on tape.

She's so unlike Nick. Nicky never really had an imagination. He never made up stories or played games like that. I'm sure it's an Aspie thing, but it could also be a boy thing. I feel like I've lost touch with him lately. He comes home from school and vanishes to his room. He doesn't really talk to me anymore. Even on the weekends, it's like he's lost in his own little world upstairs building legos, which he's amazing at. He comes down all proud of himself for what he's made. It's great, but I feel like I've lost him a little bit. I don't know how to interact with my kids. I don't know what to do with them "together" that would be fun for me too. I don't remember being one of those "imagination" kids like Calli. So when she wants to play like that, I actually don't know what to do. Weird.

So if anyone out there has activities that I can do with the kids that we can all enjoy and doesn't cost anything, fire away. I'm hoping that when we're in a warmer climate we can be outside playing sports and stuff. (HA!! Did you hear that? ME wanting to play sports!)

We went to the park on Sunday and that was fun. Nick brought his scooter and while John took Calli into the play area, Nick and I did a lap around the entire park. I had to run most of the way to keep up with him, and I didn't die. It was really nice. Before we left, we all went around again. John was so out of breath and I was fine. Hee hee, I told him, from now on whenever he wants a snack or to eat garbage, to remember that walk.

Weight update, I'm down to 167 - that's 90 pounds folks. My work out buddy injured her back so we haven't been able to work out (starting again today). And of course I can't seem to get myself to move without her. Although, I've been helping my friend Margaret clear up and organize her Mary Kay stock room and that was a little bit of a work out. Standing for hours and lots of bending. I felt muscles I didn't know I had! Hopefully I can get myself back on track now.

Ok, off to my workout. ttfn

Just incase you were wondering why I'm moving.... Here's an email my mom sent that's floating around about the joys of living in NJ.

Living in Northern New Jersey

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Northern New Jersey . It is so beautiful here.. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque.. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 – New Jersey is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth; I guess that’s why they call it the Ga rden State . The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright... I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful; certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in New Jersey . I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night.. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway..The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!

Dec.. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white sh*t coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. A$$hole.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is ??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the sh*thead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken six already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house.. We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the b*stard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of sh*t into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

May 10 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow sh*t.

May 23 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of New Jersey .

Ya know, I have my moments when this move seems like a really bad idea. Where the thought of leaving family and friends and my house is heatbreaking. I had that moment 2 nights ago. Lying in bed, crying. And then.... something happens to remind me why we're leaving. The next morning I woke up, got in the shower, washed my hair, put in conditioner and POOF, no more water. That's right folks, the pipes froze AGAIN!! 2 days without water this time. It finally came back yesterday afternoon. Although I still have my doubts, things like this dull them quite a bit.

It's Friday! If you haven't signed up for Casino Night, today is the LAST DAY to do it. Please come, it'll be loads of fun, I promise!!

I have a lot of catch up to do. Since we didn't have water, I have a ton of dishes and laundry that need to be done. Yippeee!

So after all that snow last weekend... this weekend it's supposed to be in the 60's! WTF? I don't get it.

What else??? I don't know. I can't think straight today, I'm so tired! Off to run some errands.

The speech was no big deal people. It's just kind of a visual for the people attending. When you're really fat, it's hard to picture yourself as thin. So seeing people come in who have had the surgery and seeing their before pictures, really helps them decide. It was really like a 15 min thing with a couple other post op people. You didn't miss anything, I promise. LOL Well, you missed me showing off my ass.

I booked my flight this morning. YAYAY!! I feel better knowing that's done.

Below are some pics from today. Damn winter.

And you wonder why we're moving south???

9 inches and counting (notice me with the ruler)

Feeling yucky today. I was feeling kinda off yesterday, but put it down to PMS. Today I woke up with a headache (never a good start) and then everything I ate made me pukey. I'm sure it's PMS plus lack of following the rules. Not enough protein, not enough vitamins, not enough fluids, all that jazz. I took my vitamins and drank a shake today, plus I drank a bunch of water and arizona tea (diet of course). Now I just have to make sure I do it every day. I really need to get my ass in gear.

I went for my check up with the surgeon on Monday and he was pretty pleased with me (except for the vitamins and protein). He invited me to speak at their seminar. So Wednesday I did just that. I went to the seminar that I went to before my surgery where they tell you everything about it. I stood up there and told them what I'd done in the last 6 months. (the good and the bad) I brought my before pictures too. I even showed off my ass!! LOL, hell, it's a lot smaller than it was. Afterwards, people came up to me and thanked me and asked some questions. It was nice. Kind of an ego booster but also helps them too.

I'm booking my flight from FL for the end of April. Of course when I wanted to go is the weekend after Easter and the prices were doubled!! Damn Thieves! Then I was thinking the weekend before Easter, but since I'm driving John's car down, leaving it there and flying back, that would leave me without a car for over a month.... I don't think so! So, it'll be the weekend of the 26th. I'll leave here Wednesday afternoon, get there Thursday some time and leave probably Monday (cheaper to fly than Sunday). That will give me plenty of time to get the lay of the land, see a ton of houses and hopefully secure one.

As for our house. We've dropped the price to $250,000 in hopes of a nibble. We've figured out that we're not going to make anything at this point, so we're going to submit any offer we get. Which we haven't as of yet. Either way, we're leaving in early May. I spoke to both mortgage companies and they are both on board for a short sale. Doing the "deed in lieu" where you just sign over the house, we found out, is actually considered a foreclosure. It just skips all the legal crap. So we'll stick with the short sale and just let everyone that's looking know that it's basically "no offer to low". At this point it's not up to us. It will be submitted to the bank and they will make the decision. We owe 230,000 I'm assuming they'll take 200 or possibly even lower. We owe 160 on the first and 70 on the second. So you do the math. Doesn't matter to us anymore. We were hoping to get like 245-250 so we could walk away with a couple thousand, but I don't think it's gonna happen. Oh well.

For those of you who want to go to Casino Night, it's LAST CALL. This is a charity event for the Children's Tumor Foundation. It's on March 13th. Friday, March 6th (THIS FRIDAY) is the last day to register. It's so much fun. The price includes dinner, gambling, a chinese auction and open bar. They are also having some vendors this year and the "Gold Guy". So if you have old gold or jewelry that you don't want anymore, he's paying cash on the spot for it. Pretty cool. It's definitely a fun night. I'm hoping my luck holds out from last year!! If you'd like to go, post a comment with your email, or send me an email and I'll forward you all the info. Again, FRIDAY is your last day to register.

The snow is coming.... again. Bah Humbug. They're calling for 6-12 inches tonight. Oh Joy.

What else.... hmmm... yeah, I got nuthin!

To the person who posted about the house. Unfortunately, we owe $230,000 in mortgage. And in today's market it's actually worth about between $200,000 and $250,000. I wish I could let it go for what you're offering, but we can't. Sorry. We are going into Short Sale and the listing price will be dropping to $250,000 as of today. Just an FYI