Off we go on our grand new adventure!  I'm actually not as freaked out as I thought I would be. Probably because at this point, it just feels like we're going on vacation. I'm very excited.

Last night as we settled in to sleep, I remembered everything I forgot. So this morning we had to make a bank run and stop for Nick's medical records before we could get on the road.

As we loaded the van, we found another box worth of stuff to be packed and a dining room chair that somehow got missed being put on the truck. John was able to squeeze everything in and had everthing loaded.... then I remembered the load of clothes in the dryer. Oops. After another rearrangement, we were off. By the first of the forgotten stops, we realized the arrangements were not working for the dogs so we had to re-do it again. And then subsequently, two more times before they settled in and were happy.  So, besides the cat howling for the last two hours (she does not like being caged), we're off to a decent start.

So far the kids are fine. They were very unhappy when the cat utilized her litter box, but otherwise all is well. They didn't get a lot of sleep last night so their both passed out right now.

My back and knees aren't thrilled at this point but I brought plenty of drugs. My pillow tucked behind me is helping some. John's driving now and I'll probably take over for a bit after lunch.

Not many interesting sights yet. A truck driver swearving all over the road, a pickup truck with a odd slogan, fields and cows. Hopefully the sites will get better.

That's it for now. More to come.

Over the Top

It's been a good week for me at work in the compliments department.  Today I had a table with an older gentlemen in his mid 50's.  He pulled me aside and said, "I just have to tell you, you have a great ass."  Uhm... "Well, thanks".  I went into the kitchen and told one of the other girls and the plumber was there listening.  He looks around my backside and said, "Well, he's not wrong".  HA LOL  Ok then.  I informed him that it was more the pants then me.  (I really need to get a couple more pairs of those).

Then, well, it turned a little creepy.  I guess the old guy REALLY liked what he saw because every time I stopped at the table he made a comment.  "More coffee.  I'm killing time so I can keep watching you walk up and down the isle."  "You must be tired carrying all those trays.  Can I give you a rub down?"  "Hey, we should get together sometime." And quite a few more. Ok, really?  I am a really good waitress and check on my tables a lot.  But I finally stopped going over there cause he was creeping me out.  I told the other girl the rub down comment and the plumber said, "You want me to go out there and take care of it?"  LOL  Sheila said she was gonna go tell him she was my girlfriend and that he needed to stop hitting on me.  HA!!

The plumber asked if the old man really thought that shit would work on girls.  In my opinion, the nice ass comment was enough.  Maybe even the watching comment.  Everything after that was over the top and obscene to a point.  Men, if you want to get a girl, don't be crude.  Give her compliments, but don't assume that just because you say something nice that you're gonna get laid.  ESPECIALLY when you're old enough to be her father!  Not that this guy had a chance in hell.  I don't think my husband would appreciate it much. LOL 

But here's the lesson for the day.  Men, to get a girl, pay compliments.  Always ask if she's married!! Very important!!  If she's not and she seems interested, ask for her number.  Easy peasy.  Don't say hi, can I feel you up.  It really doesn't work unless she is a paid professional.

And for those of you that were wondering, I know most people know you're married because you have a ring on.  I don't have rings.  After I lost all the weight, my rings were 6 sizes too big and were unable to be altered that much. We were never able to replace them.  Plus, I have serious issues about spending that much money!  I recently got a pretty fake ring, but it was too small.  I have to send it back to exchange it and hopefully the new one will fit. Long story short, I don't wear a ring.  So, just because a girl doesn't have a ring on, doesn't mean she's not married!  Always ASK! :o)

Feeling Pretty

At work today, an older lady walked by me on her way out, turned and said, "Oh my, you're so pretty!"  - and she totally didn't mean it in that "Thank God you're pretty, cause you're so stupid" kind of way that I tend to use.  I was stunned.  No one has ever done that to me.  I'm still the fat girl at heart.  At this point, I've still spent more of my life fat then I have thin.  I still get shocked when I see myself in a mirror.  Still try on a size 10 even though I'm in a 6. 

I still hate my body.  I hate all the extra skin that I will never be able to afford to remove.  I look like I've melted when I'm naked and it's extremely embarrassing and I never feel sexy.

But with clothes on, ... I'm totally happy.  I look great.... (I think).  I'm getting old.  I have wrinkles around my eyes and my hair has a very loving relationship with the dye companies that cover the grey.  But at almost 40, I really shouldn't expect less.  And I definitely look better then I did in my 20's when I was pushing 270 pounds and wearing a size 22.  I no longer hear that "Oh, you have such a pretty face.  If only you lost the weight" speech.  Now I hear a lot more of the "Hot Mom" thing.  Although, I don't know how that makes me feel either. LOL

Unfortunately, most of the people around me are much younger then me and really think of me as "Mom".  Probably because I act like that.  All the kids at Cracker are just that... my kids.  I tend to give advice, comfort and care just like they were my own.  That's ok though.  I like being needed.  But I enjoy hearing that I'm a MILF.  LOL  On the other hand, I always second guess people when they say things like that.  Are they being truthful, or do they just say that to make me feel good.  When in actuality, they think I'm just another ugly, old lady.  Ah, they joys of low self esteem!

I pray my daughter never has to go through this.  Although, I know every girl does.  Every girl hates her body at some point and feels ugly.  I just hope hers only lasts a moment before she finds all the beauty that's within her.  She is a very pretty little girl.  She looks a lot like my niece Cassy when she was her age.  And if she turns out to be even a fraction of how gorgeous Cass became, she'll be blessed.

Family Ties

This week has been really crazy.  I had two funerals to attend.  Two of my Great Uncles died on Saturday within 12 hours of each other.  We've have multiple people die in our family around the same time, but never the same day!  So Monday through Thursday were spent at wakes and funerals interspersed with a million other things that had to get done including Calli's birthday.

A lot of us mentioned today that it's not right that we never get together anymore except for funerals.  When we were little, there were always family get togethers, picnics, parties and fun.  All the cousins (first, seconds, and thirds) all gathered around the elders and had a good ole time.  I think it was "The Elders" that always made sure this happened.  Keep the family close!  That was our motto. Most of us still lived in Rockaway at that time or within 10 minutes of it.  My Grandmother's family have lived here for 100 years.  That is why I have such a strong pull to this town.
Fourth of July at Aunt Helen's was always a big favorite of mine.  All the family would gather, eat, laugh and tell stories.  Us kids would run around her huge backyard, swing on the swings or roller skate in her basement.  After all the family fun, we'd walk over the Fireman's Field and watch the fireworks which have always been the best in the state!

We had one reunion quite a few years ago.  Grandma has since passed away, and now out of the seven of them, only two of the "Elders" are left.  One of them lives in Florida.  All of the cousins have scattered to the far corners and we never seem to see each other unless we're brought together by a tragedy.  I put it to some of the other cousins today to plan a get together for this summer.  Have us all meet on a happy note.

Although, I must say, even in tragedy, my family can make it a happy time.  Yes, tears were shed this week, but there was so much more laughter.  Between catching up, hearing old stories and "the things Old people say!", we really had a good time (I know that sounds strange.  Good times at the funerals.  But really, it was)

I really hope we can make it happen.  Once we move this summer, we aren't going to make it back here for things like this.  One last Hurrah!  Bring on the fun.

Keep your family close guys.  I wish my kids had the close knit family upbringing that we did.  They barely see their own first cousins, let alone the rest of the family. Our family may be crazy, but if they were able to be around that more, they'd know where THEY get it from!

I already shoveled!!

I sit warm and snug in my car as my daughter slides down the huge piles of snow.  I don't do cold, but I'll watch!  We've gotten so much snow lately. That's all anyone is talking about from Maine to Georgia. People who have never seen snow before are getting the whole experience! From a slight dusting in Georgia that shut the entire state down, to the almost 3 feet that we've accumulated here in Jersey with more coming and people still trying to get to work. It's beautiful to look at, but it's exhausting to deal with. By the time you're done shoveling, it's time to shovel again.

I have gotten out of a lot of shoveling duty this year because of my back.  But having a 13 year old and the boys in the basement, is a lot of extra help for John.  Even if it comes with bitching and moaning (mostly from the teenager).  I had them out there today clearing again while he was at work.  Nick was not happy that he had to shovel two days in a row.  OH THE HORROR!!  Tell it to Mother Nature Buddy!

He actually acted like we were torturing him.  Like we had no idea what he was going through.  Yeah, right, cause we've never had to shovel in our lives.  Hey, when I was growing up, we didn't have a man in the house to do this stuff.  We had to do it ourselves.  It would have been us girls out there freezing our butts off!  I'm three times your age.  I've seen a lot more snow then you!  I didn't get out of shoveling until I got married.  Then I could pawn it off on the hubby.  But I always helped.  Even now, when I'm still kind of on some restrictions, I was out there chopping up the ice and helping out.  Just wait kid, you don't get out of doing the dirty, hard work until you have a kid of your own to torture.  That's why we had you!  Hee Hee 

The worst thing about winter is the colds.  My nose and eyes were leaking all day yesterday.  Not like stuffy nose, running.  More like, I stood up and it pored out of my nose and eyes.  So gross.  Nothing else bothered me.  I was just annoyed.  Today, I'm still a little leaky, but not as bad.  But my neck is very sore.  My throat is fine, it's my glands which I believe are quite swollen.  Boo  I go back to work in a few days. Finally after 5 long months!  I'm not about to be too sick to work.  I have some old antibiotics that I'm gonna pop and hope for the best.

Well, more snow tonight, so lets see how much the boy bitches in the morning.  :o)

Back to work on Sunday!  YAY

TV back then

Mad About You.  Remember that show?  Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt and Murray the Dog.  I LOVE this show.  They are replaying it now and I'm taping them to watch at my leisure.  I forgot how seriously funny and well written this show was.  Why isn't it on anymore??  COME BACK!  Why do all the good shows go away? 

I realize that some run their course and there's just no where left to go.  Those shows where the kids where in school and now they've all graduated.  Or the kids were born and are now all grown and moved out.  Or some that were so mind numbing but still good until the mind numbing just became boring.  But those other shows, those ones that can never get old because they're based on daily lives.  Why do they have to go.  Mad About You, Friends, The Golden Girls, Alice, Quantum Leap, Night Court, Saint Elsewhere.  They were such good, timeless shows.  As I'm watching these episodes off my DVR, you'd never know they were originally aired 20 years ago.  The clothes give it away somewhat, but other then that, it's everyday conversations, arguments, daily stresses of marriage and life in general.  And they make you smile and say ME TOO! 

Those are the shows that last.  The ones you can get behind because they hit close to home.  They make you feel a part of it.  Like you could just slip right into the scene and play along. And those are the ones you miss the most when they're gone.  There really isn't any shows like that on right now.  Most of them are reality game shows, or science fiction or crime shows.  Not light, happy, I feel ya shows.  Maybe that's why society is so messed up these days.  Television is corrupting our brains. 

This really made a lot of sense in my head, but I'm so tired right now, I don't think I put it together as well as I could have.  Oh Well, You get the idea.  Old TV good, New TV Meh!

KABOSH

We're doing our taxes today and John need to get unemployment information for the 2 weeks he claimed.  They told him he needed to get it online, but he couldn't remember his pin.  So he sat on the phone today for THREE HOURS!!  Three hours on hold before getting someone is just crazy!  If they don't have enough people to not leave you on hold that long, then why are they constantly cutting those jobs.  Obviously, they need MORE employees in the state government, not less.  Ok, wait... I'm not gonna go there.  I am NOT a political person.  I hate debating those type of issues.  That may make me un-American or something I guess, but oh well.

I've just seen and been involved in so many debates about strong issues and it just doesn't really get anywhere.  I truly believe in what I believe and you truly believe in what you believe and nothing is going to change those beliefs, so you're endlessly just going back and forth.  I am very quick to put the kabosh on any hefty conversations.  I have enough heavy in my life that I have no choice but to deal with, this I can control and keep light and fluffy.

Speaking of light and fluffy, it's baking time.  Nick volunteered me to make cupcakes for school for Valentine's day and Calli's birthday is next week and she wants sock monkey cupcakes.  :o/  huh?  Ug, I'll figure that one out.  I always do!  Last year was taco cupcakes and I NAILED that one!

Yup, those are "cupcakes"

So, the search is on for sock monkeys.  Wish me luck!

Plus... it's official!!  I'm going back to work!!  So I have to find something super yummy to make for my first day back.  I can't tell you how excited I am.  I talked to my manager today and he's putting me on next weeks schedule! WOOT WOOT!! Cracker, HERE I COME!

PS - did you see how quick I put the kabosh on the original topic? Hee Hee

Lego's and Snow

Went to the LEGO Movie tonight.  I know it's a kids movie, but I was so excited to see it.  It was really good.  Very funny.  A lot of jokes that only us old folks would get.  Very enjoyable all around.  Two bad things.  1. I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for a very long time.  AWESOME! 2. We came out of the movie to a few inches of snow covering everything.

Our 1 mile drive home took almost a half hour.  We live on a mountain with lots of steep hills and they don't care for the roads that well.  I handed John the keys, got in the car and held on for dear life. We made it most of the way up the hill before we got stuck and were skidding all over.  Luckily he was able to get through it.  I HATE HATE HATE driving in the snow.  Usually, if I know it's going to snow, I lock myself in the house and stay there until the roads are black again.  I have had too many accidents in the snow to be ok with it.  Another reason to move to warmer ground.

Olympics are in full swing.  I love the Olympics.  Its fascinating to watch these people jump, flip, speed and struggle through all the different events.  I'm loving the snowboarding this year.  I can't wait for the half pipe.  Although I think they're all NUTS!!  It's crazy to be strapped to a board, flying down a hill at 90 mph, running up the side of a wall to fly into the air, flip a million times and make sure you come down on the right side of the board and not your head. The best part, they love it!  It's what they do for fun.  It's not a HAVE to, it's a WANT to.  It just makes it so much better. 

Ice skating, luge, boarding, ski jumps, moguls, and so much more.  At least now I have something to watch while I'm stuck home.

Speaking of that!!  I'm going into work this week to talk to the manager about getting back on the schedule!!!  WOOT!!  Back to work next week!  So freaking excited!! 

The Husband as I see him

I didn't know what to blog about today and John said to do it about him and how wonderful he is.  LOL  He is wonderful so here goes.

He works hard and has become a very good father and husband.  It was a long road and many trials, but I think we've finally figured us out.  Well, maybe not totally, but pretty damn close.  I am not going to get into our past problems because that is just what they are, the past.  We've learned from them and are better for it.  We hope that we'll never be back there again.

He's funny.  He cracks me up every day.  When the kids are making me crazy and I'm ready to pull my hair out, he's my comic relief.  There are days that I want to smack him for making me laugh.  You know those times that you just want to stay angry cause that's the mood you're in.  He usually doesn't let that last.

He's very caring.  Not many guys could handle all my medical issues.  I've been sick through two pregnancies.  Bed rest for one which ended in an emergency C-section.  I've had gastric bypass surgery, a grand maul seizure and just recently, spinal surgery.  All of which were major and needed hands on care.  And he was there.  I think he likes feeling needed, which he is always needed, but those situations call for a lot more.  I bet it's cause he likes to be in charge for once.  I'm usually the boss around here, but at those times, I have no choice but to let him take over.  That is really hard for me, but in the end, it's nice to get the break and to have someone else do it.

He's very handy!  He can do just about anything.  He can fix the car, fix the wall, build a table, change the socket, fix the pipe, and change the grout.  His favorite line is "I can build that!"  Anything I see that I like, he always makes that comment.  I have a list a mile long with the things he is going to make me that I've never seen.  Not that he can't, he just doesn't.  LOL  I did get a lovely mirror and a refinished table.  So there's that.  When we win the lottery and he doesn't have to work anymore, I bet I'll have a ton of stuff "Handcrafted by John". 

He's super handsome.  I do have to say, I lucked out.  I got a good lookin' guy!  I love his goatee and he's got the softest hair.  Yum.

He's not the most romantic guy, but he tries really hard and I don't really know how to be romantic either, so it works out.  I got roses for my birthday yesterday which was super sweet.  All I need is the little things.  Make me a cup when you make your own.  Do the dishes once in a while.  Throw in some laundry.  I'm not to hard to please.  One less thing for me to do is really romantic!

We're about to make some very big decisions for our family and I worry that they wont be the right ones, but he is reassuring and encouraging.  We can make these together and not fear that one or the other is making all the choices, which leads to bad things.  Together is better.

He's not perfect.  He's as messy as the kids.  He leaves his shoes in the dining room and dishes everywhere.  When he has a runny nose (like today) he insists he's DYING! - but that's all men!  He snores (but he says I do too and I have perfected the silencer nudge) He doesn't take care of his health and he eats to many things that are bad for him.  But since I am far from perfect, I don't think I could be with a perfect guy.  Our imperfections are what make us more interesting and love each other more for it.

Here's to a long life together and kicking the kids out so we can have us time.  Old folks in rocking chairs on the front porch yelling at the neighbor kids for being on our lawn.

Live Like You Were Dying

Today is my birthday.  I actually forgot it was my birthday.  With so much going on in my life between me, John and the kids, John's work, physical therapy, school, activities, Calli's birthday coming up and a million other things, I really just didn't pay attention to the date.  Yesterday as we were signing papers, John reminded me.  I was a little shocked.  Today, I am 39 years old.  One year shy of 40.

Being 40 doesn't scare me.  Dying scares me. And as I get older, I seem to think of death much more often.  There have been nights that I lay in bed and have panic attacks just thinking about it.  If I knew what really happens, I probably would be ok.  But the unknown terrifies me.  Is it just like going to sleep?  That peaceful drift.  Or are you trapped in an emptiness?  Are you reincarnated, destined to relive your life until you get it right, or sent to heavenly bliss?  Its the leaving that scares me.  Leaving everyone behind. If you think of it as "I'll die when I'm old.  Someday far away" you really don't notice it.  But if you think of it at this moment, right now, if I was to die, what would happen, that's crazy  Maybe when your in your 80's, you've lived so much that you're ready to be done.  Tired of trying to live.  But at 40, with so much left to do, could you go peacefully into that good night or would you rage, rage against the dying of the light. Just thinking of it makes my chest hurt and my stomach turn. I don't want to die, but I also don't want to be immortal.  I'm too poor for that.

But as my age increases and the thought of the end is ever more present, I realize that I have to seize the day and be more impulsive.  Do things that I never thought I would do.  Like move across the country and away from my family and friends.  Start a new life in a completely different place.  Maybe now really is the time.  I can experience and see things that I never could here.  If I am going to die, I want to say that I lived.  I never want to feel like I was just here and floating along.  I want to say, it's ok.  I've done all I wanted to do, I'm ready.

SEIZE THE DAY MY FRIENDS!!

You want a knish with that?

My Jewish Mother guilt trip is PERFECT.  John came in and told Nick he should really go out and help the neighbor shovel his driveway.  Nick basically blew him off.  I came out and told him "The neighbor has been ill.  He's out there doing it all alone.  Come here, look at him!  He looks exhausted!  But if you don't want to it's ok.  I just think it would make you such a better person.  It would really be nice to help out someone else.  Just think of how grateful he would be. But I understand... " As he puts on his shoes and goes outside to help the neighbor ... "Do NOT accept any money from him!"  Hee Hee

I asked Calli to help me cook and she whined.  She did about 2 things and then said she was done.  I gave it the old, "Fine don't help me.  I'll just do it myself like I always do.  I'm going to turn this house into the Little Red Hen Story.  I buy the groceries. I put them away. I prepare everything.  I cook everything and clean it all up.  If no one helps, no one gets to have any.  But it's fine.  I'll just do it ALL."  She was so upset, that she put herself in the bathroom to cry for a bit. (This is her new favorite crying spot.)  She then came in the kitchen and finished helping with lunch and dinner prep with lots of "Oh, I'll do that for you Mamma."

I know this may not be the best parenting, but it's been working for 1,000s of years.  So, I'm gonna keep it up.  Maybe if I do it right, they will be able to do it with their own children and so the tradition will continue and Mothers for generations after me will get their way.

Snow Day Doings

Our snow day became a cooking day.  I made home made pizza for lunch, these zeppolies for a snack and crock pot chili for dinner.  I planned on some strawberries and bananas dipped in chocolate too, but didn't get around to it. 

The boys spent a lot of time outside shoveling for the second time this week.  We live on a small street but half of it is in the Borough and the other half is in the Township.  The plows came by and started on the township side and pushed it down to our side.  Our neighbor actually stopped the truck and yelled at them.  He said, "That's the townships snow.  We don't want that down here!  Give it back to them!"  He bitched enough that the guy actually DID IT!!  Are you kidding me?  I would have plowed over his car.  He actually turned around and pushed it back up the street.  Because these guys didn't have enough to do today.  Lets tell them which direction to plow the snow.  Some people just have nothing else to do but make others miserable.  He needs a cookie to cheer the hell up!

We had received another large amount of snow last night which was then covered with a thick layer of ice .  Not fun for shoveling.  Since I had spinal surgery recently, I am banned from any shoveling.  Luckily, we had a son for that.  Unfortunately, said son has Asperger's and his concentration level is that of a dog with a squirrel running by.  I basically had to stand at the window and say,
"Nick, shovel"
"Nick, don't slide across the deck on the ice"
"Nick, don't throw the snow into the pool"
"Nick, don't throw ice at your sister"
"Nick, shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"
"Shovel the stairs"

I don't think the stairs ever actually got shoveled.  But, most of the deck was cleared.  Good enough.  We're very much a "good enough" family.  I don't need perfection, I just need done.

I'm no where near a perfectionist unless we're talking about my cakes or my crocheting.  I'll pull a hat apart 10 times if I don't like the way it looks.  And my cakes... oh lord.  I'm a nightmare when I have to do a cake.  I get so stressed out and want it perfect.  I'll work on it till it looks like the picture in my head or better!  When it comes to anything else, Meh!  Whatever. 

Old People Shopping

I went to the grocery store today after physical therapy (which hurt a lot by the way!) and it was fairly empty. Had to get my MILK AND BREAD!!! for the storm tomorrow, which is proceeded by Monday's storm and to be followed by this weekends storm. We should have snow to the roof by next week.  And the kids will be going to school till August. 

So anyway, by the time I hit the 4th isle (I'm an up and down shopper) the old folks homes must have dropped off 3 bus loads.  It was so crowded in an instant. 

Old people are hysterical to watch shop.  I like the couples.  They're so cute.  They are couponing, checking every label, arguing over products but very in sync and in love otherwise. The sweetness just oozes off of them.  I hope John and I end up that way.  Although, having him go shopping with me will result in a cart of devil dogs and chocolate milk.

The little, old single men are usually polite, sweet and very friendly.  Always wanting to strike up a conversation. Buying their "food for one".  I often see a steak in those carts.  Live well to the end old man!

The little, old single ladies... oh, that is a very different story.  Most of them are pushy, rude, entitled and down right mean.  I saw no less then 3 ladies ram their carts into others that were in their way.  Many rude comments such as, "This is ridiculous" "Can't you move" "Why is it up so high!" "THESE PRICES".  I guess when you live that long, you feel the right to do and say whatever you want.  I know Grandma got very cranky in her old age, but most of the time we yelled at her for it.  I am already a cranky witch.  I pray that I don't become complacent in my old age.  Not caring what other people think about you is one thing.  Treating people badly is another. 

Grandkids don't let your Grandma's go bad!

Snow, Snow and MORE Snow!!  The kids have had so many days off, I think they'll be going to school until August. They had off today, delay tomorrow and from what it looks like, off Wednesday and maybe Monday.  They love it, but I may loose my mind.  They're spending all their time on Mind Craft.  Utter nonsense!!

So, for those of you that are going to become fans (again) of this page, I just want to let you know of all the things I'm going to talk about. 

Life as I know it.  I'm sure it will be different from yours.
Parenting of boys, girls and teenagers.
Asperger's Syndrome
Dealing with schools when it comes to your child's disabilities.
Marriage
Cooking
Baking
Crocheting
Working in the crazy world of a waitress.
Living in New Jersey (and hopefully in the future Living in Arizona)

I also hope to get some opportunities for some product reviews so you may see those thrown in here too!

So wish me luck and let me know if I get boring or if there's anything you want me to rant on!  Be aware that this blog goes back about 7 years.  I have not looked back through all of it, but I do know that my life has changed drastically since its inception.  So if you happen to be bored and read all the way back, know that the me from then, is nothing like the me from now.  Oh the changes!  90% of them have been for the better and we're much happier for it. But who knows what I wrote back then.  I think I was a little nutty.  Now I'm a LOT nutty!!  So this should be interesting!  Happy Reading!

Here We Go Again!

Look at me!  I'm back on the blog train.  I should have started 4 months ago when I was stuck in bed after spinal surgery.  Of course, I didn't think of it till now when I'm two weeks from going back to work. 

I plan to make this blog a good place to talk, vent, share and teach.  I have a lot of crazy things going on here all the time.  I have a two kids.  A 13 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome and a (almost) 10 year old daughter (with undiagnosed Asperger's)  She is diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm pretty sure she has the full boat. I crochet, I bake, I cook.  I'm basically a stay at home mom who has to work to pay the bills.  I work at Cracker Barrel as a waitress and actually love it. 

I hope to inspire others and help out if I can.  So, off we go!

If you have any questions or things you like to know about me, just ask!  I'm basically an open book.  There's not much I wont talk about.

We went out Friday night! Yay!! John and I went to the local bar/restaurant. His friends were going there cause there was a good band playing. We got there early and sat at a table.... had a drink.... ordered a little appetizer to split..... listened to the band.... hmmm.... ok, now what? HA His friends were late and we are so old and out of the loop, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. It was so funny. What are you supposed to do in a bar? I jokingly said, lets bail and go to a movie. 5 min later he says, I really want to go to a movie now. LOL His friends got there and we left! We didn't even say hi to them. It was so funny. We're really lame.

**We went to see Brides Maids. OMG!! It was hysterical. If you haven't seen this movie, GO! Just great, pee your pants funny, good time movie. After, we went driving around trying to find a Dunkin Donuts that was open and that may actually HAVE donuts. I hate the fact that D&D stopped making the donuts in house. So a lot of the times you'll go there late and they wont have donuts. Uhm, HELLO!! The place is called Dunkin DONUTS!!! Which means, you should HAVE DONUTS! We did end up finding one and got home about 2 am.

**Woke up Saturday morning (way to early) and started making a list of all the things we needed to finish off Nick's NJ Project for school. Went shopping and came home to get it done. Half way through Nick says something about it being due Monday. I said, no, it's due Wednesday. We debate back and forth while I find the paper on it only to find out that it does have to be in Monday. CRAPTASTIC!! I really thought we would have more time. But NOOOoooo. Now we're rushing like crazy to get this thing done. He did a lot of it himself, but we had to really pitch in so it was done on time. I worked Sunday and then came home and put in a couple extra hours to finish off the project. But it was worth it. It came out great!

**We took a break from the project Saturday night to visit my friend. She has a new baby and she's very tiny and so cute. She also has a little girl who's almost 3 and she's adorable and loves playing with my kids. Calli said to me earlier that day, "Momma, I wish you would have another baby." After I stopped chocking, I informed her that was NOT going to happen and that's why mommy has friends who have babies so that I can play with them and give them back! I don't have to deal with them when they're 4 and having a temper tantrum and talking back. Woot, best of both worlds. It was nice hanging with Shawna and her gang. I miss adult conversations even if they revolve around the kids, it's still not talking TOO kids.

**Today is cleaning day. I had cleaned up last week, but due to NJ Project mayhem, it looks like a hurricane hit in here. There's just stuff everywhere and you know John didn't clean anything! Ug, MEN! Off to get started. I'll be home if anyone feels like cleaning with me.

I have a hot date tonight!! I told Calli that and she said, you can't go on dates, you have a husband. Yes you can, especially if it's your husband you're dating! We're going out tonight! And we're going out TOGETHER!! LOL This very rarely happens. I go out, he goes out, but one of us is always stuck home with the kids. Especially since our sitter has decided to grow up. She's 17 now and she thinks she has the right to go out and have fun with her friends! What's up with that crap? Luckily, tonight she was free and we can go out and play YAY!! We're just going to a local place, but hey, we're out without the kids! WOOT

**Crappy day at work today. It was soooo dead and they had way to many servers on. In 3 hours, I made 20. I had them cut me an hour early cause it was pointless. I hate days like that.

**Everyone who knows me knows that I have two black thumbs. I kill everything. So a few weeks ago I bought a really healthy looking tomato plant in hopes of keeping it that way. So far so good!! I kept it in its pot and on the front steps so I see it every day and remember to water it. John suggested planting it in the back yard, but I know if I do that, I'll forget about it, never water it and let it die. So, here's my plan. I bought a big pot to transplant it in so it has room to grow and keeping it on the porch. Cross your fingers folks!!

**Nick and I had the "talk" today. I kept telling John that he needed to do it but he refused. They gave them a talk about puberty at school today so I sat down with him to clear up any questions he might have had. He seemed really embarrassed at fist but I think me being calm about it helped him. I explained it all to him. He did ask how sex worked and I told him. I kept saying "This is not something you need to worry about for at LEAST 7 years!!" I'm not jaded. I know my kids are not going to wait till marriage for sex. They'll be teenagers like 95% of the rest of the world. But LATE TEENS is my goal. I stressed LOVE must be involved and all that jazz. I tried to make him as comfortable as possible so in the future, if he ever needs to talk about something, he knows he can come to me. I hope it works. I was very technical, but kept it on his level. He seemed to understand. My gosh, I can't believe he's at this age already. That he's even hitting puberty is CRAZY!! My baby isn't a baby anymore. :o( Two more years and I'll be having this same conversation with Calli. Ug!! Shoot me now.

**Ok, off to get dolled up for my hot date! Woot

I watched Barry Manilow on The Talk yesterday (LOVE THAT SHOW). I forgot how many of his songs I really like. I actually love me some Barry. BUT.... what the hell has he done to himself??? He's had so much plastic surgery he looks like he's dead. Ya know when you go to a funeral and you see the body in the casket and their skin is tight and the makeup is caked on? That's what his face is like. And between that and all the botox.... He was smiling and you couldn't even tell! I hate when people do that to themselves. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind plastic surgery for a lift here and there, but when you pull your skin so tight that you can't blink, that's too much. I was really enjoying the music, I just did my best not to look at the tv.

I had a feel good moment at work today. I had a couple of tables going. One was a woman and her son who was handicapped and another was a group of guys, workmen on lunch. When the guys were finished I gave them their check and one of the men asked for the ladies check as well. I smiled and handed it to him. He paid both checks, left me a hefty tip and asked that I not say anything till they were gone. When the woman was done and asked for her check I told her the gentleman at the other table paid it already. She looked at me and said "What? Why? Why would he do that??" I said, "I have no idea, just smile and pay it forward." She smiled, but I think she was in shock. LOL Who knows why he paid the bill. Maybe he has a disabled child of his own and knows the struggles, maybe he just won the lottery and picked a random table, maybe he was grateful the her child was the only kid in the place that wasn't screaming and he appreciated the behavior. We'll never know. But to that man... My hats off to you. Learn a lesson from him my friends.

May we all take a moment to try and make a random strangers life a little easier, whether it be paying the toll on the bridge for the guy behind you, picking up the check for a weary mom, or helping someone with their groceries. A small act that makes someone smile can make you smile as well and warm your hearts for a long time.

When I'm out and about, doing my grocery shopping or what have you, I make sure I use the facilities before I leave home. But on the rare occasion that I've had too much coffee or the shopping is taking longer then planned, I may need to use the loo. On these occasions, I usually try to hold it for as long as possible in hopes of getting out of there and home to my own potty so as to not have to use the public rest room.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! To all of those who use the public restrooms: It is a PUBLIC restroom, which means, more people than just YOU are going to be using it. Now I understand that some of you have the crazy "Ew, germs" fear of toilet bowls and refuse to sit even using the little paper sanitizer thingy. So, you do the hover. That's fine. I have no problem with the hover. The problem I have is now that you've hovered, you've proceeded to pee all over the seat. And what do you do? Do you have common courtesy and wipe the seat so the next person can use the facilities without being totally grossed out?? NNNOOOoooooo You pull up your pants and walk out like your urethra has perfect aim and would never allow a drop to spill in an unwanted area. Never even bothering to consider the poor soul who while trying to hold it till she gets home has now waited too long and is about to pee her pants. And she may just have too pee her pants because unlike the hoverers... some of us pee for longer periods of time and can not hover. We MUST sit and there is someone else's disgusting pee all over the seat.

Please note that I ALWAYS wipe the seat before I sit for two reasons. 1. To of course make sure the seat is (semi) clean and not wet and 2. that way you always know if there's toilet paper. My point is this, If I'm about to pee myself, a quick wipe down is ok. But when you now have to do a thorough cleaning and double to triple wipes because the seat is covered all while doing the criss cross pee pee dance, you may not make it. It is not fair to the sitters to have to suffer for the hoverers.

So Please, if you are a hoverer.... If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat! Jeeze louise!

That is my public service announcement for the day. Thank You

P.S. - FYI, I was able to hold it long enough to get a good wipe down. No clothing was pee'd on during the making of this blog.

It's hard to get to sleep when there isn't someone else in bed with you. Don't get me wrong, I like having the entire bed to myself to spread out and I love not having to kick said other person to get them to stop snoring. But, actually going into your empty room and getting in an empty bed is kind of unnerving. John had to go to NC yesterday for work. He'll be home tonight though, so I'll have someone to kick again. YAY

Ha, I have this little chinese woman who walks my road every day. Good for her getting her exercise. She's gotta be in her 60's and she walks up and down and backwards. But the funniest thing is she talks. I assume that she has a blue tooth in and is talking to someone, but that is just an assumption. LOL I've never actually seen a blue tooth in her ear. And boy does she get animated. She gets to yellin' in chinese and it's hysterical. Gotta love her.

Speaking of yelling. Our neighbors across the street ... whooo boy. Can that woman scream! I think she's right up there with John. Either her kids are awful or really slow or something cause she's in there at 7:30 or so just bustin' an aneurysm in her head screaming about teeth brushing and bookbags. The entire street can hear her with the windows open. I sit out on the front porch and just listen. Not because I'm nosey (although I totally am) it's more.... well, it makes me feel like a better mother. LOL Hey, I yell at the kids, don't get me wrong, but she's insane and her voice is very shrill. I know she's a crazy busy woman. I think at this point she has too much on her plate and she's lost her mind. I pray I don't get that bad.

So spring came and went in about 2 days flat. I don't understand what's happening with the weather. It's crazy. We went from the 30's to the 90's almost instantly. The next few days are supposed to be near 100. It's insane. BUT, the beginning of summer and the end of spring is a really good thing! Not only is the beautiful weather here, but it means the END OF SPORTS!! WOOT!! No more running from this event to that one, practices, missing cleats, uniforms and hats. No more 4 hour long track meets (that ones for John). Calli has one or two more games and Nick is down to just his banquet. It's a wonderful thing. We can all take a deep breath and relax a little bit. During the spring I get maybe one or two nights off a week. The weekends are booked and it feels never ending. Now it's a count down to the end of school.

The end of school means some good things and some bad.

Good: I no longer work during the week (the cost of a babysitter would negate any money I make).

Bad: I loose that income.

Good: I get to sleep in a little bit.

Bad: I'll be woken to the screams of "NICK STOP IT!!" or "Mom, I'm hungry"

Good: We'll have time to do things out and about.

Bad: We wont have the money to do things.

Good: The kids will be able to play outside all the time

Bad: The kids will tell me at least 100 times a day that they're bored and hungry!

Good: We have a pool in the backyard so the kids can swim all they want.

Bad: They kids will tell me every day that they don't want to swim in our pool, they want to go to Allison's!!

Good: I get to spend time with the kids that doesn't consist of us running from here to there.

Bad: I have to spend time with the kids while they try to kill each other for the next 2 months.

So see, there's always a dark side to the bright side. But.... HAPPY THOUGHTS!!

Happy Thoughts is my mantra. The folks at the Cracker Barrel know not to get cranky around me cause they'll have me yelling it in their ears. "Hey, none of that! Happy Thoughts!" Most of the time the response I get is, "Fuck your happy thoughts"... but, it always comes with a smile and I know I've cheered them up a little bit at least. I'm the Mom there and guidance counselor. I try to keep everyone happy as much as possible. Cause when they're miserable, the whole place goes to hell. Happy Thoughts make Happy People

Gotta clean my house today. That is my goal. I've been sick for the last couple days and haven't been able to do much. I did do the laundry and dishes, but that's about it. Today is cleaning. Mom's coming over tomorrow, so I need the house presentable. I hate having people come over when the house is trashed. BUT, I'm usually too lazy to clean it. LOL Hence, not many people come over. Although, you're ALWAYS welcome to come over. Just give me a little warning so I can shove everything in closets. And know that it wont be "clean", just picked up enough to not need the hazmat team.

Ok, enough procrastinating. MUST CLEAN BOOOooooooooo

The "sicks" have hit our house. Ug. I've been fighting a chest cold. Yesterday, I was miserable. If I coughed... OUCH! I actually called out of work which I NEVER do. Especially on a Sunday (my money day). But John worked a lot of overtime this week, so it balanced.

Calli was starting to feel it last night and woke up pretty crappy this morning. She didn't have a fever, so I sent her to school with instructions to go to the nurse if she's really miserable. We'll see if she lasts the day. I hate summer colds! You should never get sick in the summer. It ruins the fun.

I sat at Nick's last track meet yesterday. He did pretty well. Track is not his thing. He hates it and I think it was a one time deal. But trying something new is always important. He did improve over the season and that's great. We left early though. He had done some extra events so he didn't want to wait the hour or so for his last event (I didn't blame him). We missed some interesting happenings though. Apparently, during the down time in between events, some of the kids went into the woods and thought it would be fun to throw rocks into the parking lot. They then played target practice with the cars! They damaged 3 or 4 cars (two of which were coaches) and set off an alarm which brought people looking and got them busted. Police were called and needless to say, our coach is PISSED!!

I can't imagine what the parents of those kids are feeling right now. I'm sure they are freaking out. I'm just glad it wasn't my kid! Thank God! I can say, NICK DIDN"T DO IT! What were these kids thinking?? Throw rocks.. ok... Hit cars with them???? WHAT? That's just crazy. Unfortunately, I know that Nick is such a follower, that if he was there with them, he probably would have done it too. So glad we left. Although, Nick has to stay with us during meets because there is so much down time, he easily gets in trouble. I used it as a teaching tool this morning though. I told him what happened and then gave him a big long speach about it. Basically, if you ever did something like that, this, this, this and this would happen. Blah blah blah, I'm sure I sounded like the Peanuts teacher by the end. But hopefully it sunk it that doing something like that is NOT a good idea.

We walked the Denville street festival afterwards, but I was feeling so awful, I just wanted to go home. We watched Gnomeo & Juliet which was cute and then John and I watched 127 Hours. That's the movie about the guy that went climbing and the rock fell and caught his arm and he had to cut his arm off to save himself. It was pretty intense. Poor guy!! Would I do that? Would I say "Fuck it" and die there or would I be able to cut my arm off and walk out with my stump. I don't know. I don't think I would worry about the loss of the arm. It would be the actual cutting off of the arm that would cause me pause. I can't handle a stubbed toe!!

Ok, on a new tangent.... Like I said before, I went back and read all my old posts. I talk a lot about how crappy my memory is. Well, apparently that is correct, because I couldn't remember half of what I wrote!! I'm laughing at all this stuff and reading it to John. (He didn't remember some of it either so I didn't feel too bad). Damn kids suck your brain cells out and they never regenerate! I really need to keep up with the blog so I can look back at it when I'm in my 80's and know what I did! My entire life is just a whisper in the wind. What I really need is to have our lives on one of those reality shows. Have cameras around us all the time so that its all caught on tape and we can never forget it. Although... having everything we do and say on tape.... maybe not such a good idea. LOL

I have more to say, but I think I've changed subjects enough for today. More tomorrow. Off to do laundry, yup, still have that to do constantly!

Long Time, No Type

I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I've written my blog. Two Years!! That's just crazy. A friend recently mentioned that he missed reading it so I thought I would run down memory lane and see what I wrote.

I just spent the last 2 days re-reading all my posts. I think some of them are missing. Especially the very first ones. They're all gone, but that's all right.

Dang, I was a miserable son of a bitch, wasn't I? I can't believe how down I was all time. I didn't have many good things to say, although I did say it very eloquently. I didn't realize how well I wrote. LOL

I do realize that most of this was written pre-surgery which would explain the depression and also that was not a great time for John and I.

Boy, how times have changed....

The last time I wrote, we had just moved to Rockaway. Well, we've been here two years now and are really happy. I love this town. Always have. The kids are in school and are both doing great. Nick started main stream school this year and really happy.

John's working at a place he likes (so far). He's not making great money, but enough. I work part time at Cracker Barrel. I went back to my roots, waitressing. It works well for our schedule. I work while the kids are at school and on Sundays. During the summer, I only work Sundays. How many jobs will let you do that??? None. Our collars couldn't be any bluer at this point, but hey, we're the typical American family.

We've semi gotten our finances in order. The house still hasn't sold in Byram. Can you believe that!! It's still sitting there. Waiting for foreclosure, but we've just pretty much forgotten about it. That's the past. We've gotten most of our bills paid off (through the help of friends) and now we're trying to pay off those friends. Always in debt I guess. John was getting paid a lot last year with his last job (but insane hours) but the new job is a lot less. At this point we are just getting by so of course, paying others off is going to take longer than we hoped. But it WILL happen damnit. I'm determined! At least at this point we're not stressing over whether we'll have money for the bills. It's always there! That's an amazing feeling.

I think being able to pay the bills has done a number on us. It's changed our lives for the better. John and I rarely fight anymore (not never, but rarely LOL) We're less stressed and just happier people.

I've been at 150 pounds for almost 2 years now. It's awesome. I'm in a size 6. Can you believe that? From a 18 - 22 to a 6! Yay Surgery! I'm still not happy with my body though (of course). I really want a body lift! Boobs, tummy, butt, arms. I look really good in clothes, but naked.... not so much. I look like the incredible melting woman. It's sad, but hey, I look good in clothes. LOL

My mood is definitely MUCH better. I still have my days where I hate everyone and everything, but that's mostly my PMS times.

So, hopefully, I'll start this blog back up and running and have way better things to talk about... happier things.

I'm off to work now. More to come!

I'm sooooooo done unpacking. Ok, not literally, but spiritually, I'm done. I have spent all week busting my butt trying to get all this shit put away, plus working two of the days, it's been hectic. I'm not done by a long shot. I still have a ways to go and every time I think I'm almost done.... more boxes appear! It's like some wicked kind of magic.

I had opened all the boxes and realized that the box with all John's work uniforms was missing. I panicked. I know there is nothing left at the other house except for the left over garage sale stuff, so it's not there. I think I rechecked each box about 4 times... nothing. After some careful thinking I came to the conclusion that someone must have accidental placed that box in the attic. Now, understand that I had just PACKED the attic. Oh joy. So yesterday I pulled everything out of the attic on a mad hunt. TA DAAAA, found them, thank God. I also realized that the attic is ginormous! So I was able to put it all back in a much more organized fashion. OH, and after I had gotten a flashlight so I could see all the way to the back, I saw that the owners had left a big plasma tv in there... PAYDIRT!! WOO HOO, how cool is that?!!? Not so cool as it turns out. I crawl back there only to realize that the screen is all smashed up. Darnit! Oh well. Anyway, the attic is all neatly put together. Now I just have to find room for the rest of this crap.

I've already found 4 large boxes of stuff to purge for garage sale. That's good right?? Not to mention all the stuff I got rid of pre-move. I don't know how I became such a pack rat. I like "things"! Then when I'm done getting everything out of boxes, a lot of it has to be reorganized. My kitchen is just not working for me. I have to adjust a lot of stuff. My goal is to have the house in order and presentable to the public by next weekend.

I still have such a long to do list. Finish Calli's kindergarten registration which includes getting a physical for her, and a birth certificate since hers is not where it's supposed to be. Sign the kids up for the rec program so Nick can play football. Sign them up for the reading program (which sign ups are tomorrow - someone remind me). Figure out all our bills, set up the filing cabinet and get on a schedule. And get Nick's social security forms filled out. Now I know you don't care about any of this, but I'm writing it down for me not you, so you can ignore this paragraph. LOL There's so much more... I think I need to sit and write it all out.

Holy STRESS BATMAN. Speaking of stress. John's blood pressure has been through the roof and they have put him on some meds, including xanax. Oh Yeah Baby!! Bought damn time. Hopefully it'll calm him a little bit.

Damn, totally forgot what I was just about to say... arg, it's probably cause I'm so damn tired. A very crazy week, and then at Shell's till 3:30 or so and going to sleep about 4:30 and getting woken up at 7:30. (all times are AM) LOL I don't work well on 3 hours of sleep. I need at least 8. So I'm wiped. I really wanted to take a nap today, but it just didn't happen.

Today was father's day. I got up and made John a big breakfast. In the afternoon, we went to pick up our new friends. Now I know I've said no more animals, but .... but,.... but.... as new members to mom's bird club, we were told about a couple that had 2 yellow hooded amazons that needed a home. They were no longer home enough to care for them and wanted to find something better. We went to see them and packed them up. LOL They are BIG talkers. Holy crow. They sing, they making kissing noises, say hello, night night (when they want their cover on to go to sleep) they say "I can talk, can you fly?" HA wise asses. They have a 40 phrase vocabulary right now that we hope to expand on. We were originally only going to take one, but they are said to be siblings and had been together since birth. I feared the separation would kill them (totally possible in big birds). So, we thought we'd try it out with the two and see how it goes, if it doesn't work, we'll find a home for one of them. They are very sweet and handelable. Even being as scared as they were with the move, we were able to hold them. Very cool. We need to work on their names though. I'm being told that at 6 years old, it's to late to change them, but Trinidad & Tobago... No thank you. I told John maybe we'll just shorten them to Trinny and Tobby or something.

Ok, fingers are cramping. I will really try to post more often. Cause, ya know, my boring life is just so captivating! HA!

I can't believe I am saying this, but in approximately 2 1/2 weeks we will be moving BACK TO ROCKAWAY!!

We finally found a house to rent. Single family, on a dead end street, fenced in yard and semi affordable. I will most likely have to get a job or get the Mary Kay in gear to cover it, but I think we'll be fine. Now the craziness begins.

I have to change/cancel/connect all the utilities, register Calli for kindergarten, transfer Nick's school, change of address, renter's insurance, football registration..... Not to mention trying to get this house all packed up. UG!

We had a full weekend and of course today I woke up, couldn't eat cause I had to get blood work done (surgery follow up), go do that, go to the bank to get the security deposit and drop that off to Rich. By the time I was done, I had a RAGING headache. Wahhh. So I came home and ate something and took a nap for an hour. I still feel like doodie though. So no packing got done today. Tomorrow I'll start. Of course I have to find more boxes though, otherwise our entire house will be packed in small Mary Kay boxes that I got from clearing out Margaret's storage room.

We're helping our friends Lea and Tom move this weekend and then our niece's birthday party is on Sunday, so that will blow some time. The following weekend is the town wide garage sale... which works out since I was planning one for this weekend and then realized we wont be home for most of it. So I'll try to get everything packed and then whatever is left will be sold. Then the following weekend is move in. EEEKKKK!! (Allison, garage saleing with you is still on, I may just have to shorten my attendance time though, otherwise John will kill the children or sell them!)

I'm really happy, I just don't think it's sunk in yet that we're really moving. I can't wait till it's done and I can get the kids settled. Not to mention being only 2 minutes from Shell! How cool is that?!?!

Everyone else is good. Well, they are now at least. My niece called me last week and told me they had an accident. She tripped over the dog while carrying the baby and fell. The baby hit his head and got a knot so they took him to the hospital. Unfortunately, it turned out that he had fractured his skull. Poor baby! They sent him to the bigger hospital and kept him over-night running tests and so forth. But all was well. They sent him home the next evening with just "watch him" instructions and to come back in six weeks to check the fracture. Of course Cassy was a mess, it being her first baby and him only being a month old. I tried to calm her, but it's hard when you're 1,500 miles away. Luckily it wasn't worse than it was and he's doing fine now. But we were worried there for a while. Love and prayers for little Madden.

Otherwise.... hmmm, oh, jeeze, I'm reading My Sister's Keeper. Not a good choice if you're a mom. I swear I keep checking my kids for bruises and every time they cough or something, I'm picturing chemo or something horrible. I love to read. Anyone who knows me knows I'm addicted really. But I always seem to get so engrossed in a book that I can actually FEEL it. I swear that when I read The Stand by Stephen King, I had a cold through the ENTIRE BOOK! I'm such a dork. This current book is really good. I, unfortunately, skipped to the end like I always do and got a shock that I wasn't expecting. I usually don't mind these surprises, but for some reason, this one hit me kinda hard and I'm not liking the fact that I'm getting closer and closer to that end. I don't want it to end that way, but such is life.

Coffee break, please hold..... Aaaahhhhh, yum

It's freezing in my house. Of course we have no heat, so when the air dips outside, it plummets inside. It's about 55 in here now. Arg. I can't wait to move!!!

So, if anyone is around and available to help me pack for the next 2 weeks, feel free to stop buy, and if anyone is available the weekend of the 13/14 of June, come grab a box!! Lunch will be served to all who help. Nothing like my usual meals, sad to say, but I'm sure pizza and beer can be arranged.

That's it for now, I'm going to go bundle up in a blankey.

I hate the sun!

Ok, so I don't really hate the sun, I just wish it would wait to rise until say, 9 AM. You see, when the sun is up and bright at 6:30 in the morning, it goes right into my daughter's room and wakes the sleeping demon - I mean princess. So then she is up when I'm trying to get Nick out the door. Mayhem ensues. Plus, when she gets up that early, she gets really cranky in the afternoon and naps have seem to eluded her lately unless we're driving in the car. Not to mention that there's also times that I'm just really tired in the morning and want to go back to sleep! Damn kids.

This week seems to be "catch up with old friends" week. Monday I had lunch with my friend Yesi which was fun. She walked into the restaurant looked toward me and then kept looking around trying to find me! LOL It was really good to see her. Yesterday, I spent a few hours with my dear friend Donna. I love that chick! She's the best. She's one of those friends that can always make you laugh until you cry even when you're desperately depressed. She's a good one to keep around. Who else wants to visit me???

So, I'm out of books! ARG. Now, I know most of you are saying, so what? But let me tell you something. I need my books! I usually have at least 3 books running at a time. I've read everything in my house. My cousin is supposed to give me some, but I haven't gotten them yet. I have my e-book, but I didn't really want to spend the money to order any for it right now. I'll have to go on and see if there's any good deals to be had so I have something to read. I actually want to check out Michael J. Fox's new book. I saw the special they did based on it, but I'd love to read it. It's all about how even though life has given him a very tart glass of lemonade, he's still the eternal optimist. A big saying in the Mary Kay world is "What you think about, you bring about". I do believe that. I need to start thinking about living in a big house and paying hardly anything for rent!

So, that's what I'm off to do, find a good book to read. Have a great day people.

Here's some pics from Easter at my mom's house. She has crazy deer that come right up to the house to eat and hang out. I thought I'd show how close they really get.

Update:
The house buying thing isn't going to work out. Although it was a great idea, financially it was a no go. We would have been able to afford it, but the upfront costs would have wiped out our friends and that's just not an option. So we're back to looking for something to rent. We found something we want, in an area we want, but they turned us down because our credit was too low. Damn credit!!! So we're still on the hunt.

I went to a tricky tray last week with the girls. It was lots of fun and my luck held out. I was the only one of us who won anything (sorry girls!). I made out really well. Actually, the kids made out really well. I didn't win anything for myself! I got a bunch of Thomas trains, which when I went online and added it up came up to over $160 worth! I also got a basket of stuff for Calli which included cheerleading gear, a puzzle, a snow cone maker and some arts and crafts stuff. I also won a a puppet theater and a couple of puppets. Calli loves that. It has a fake clock on the top and she keeps moving the hands and says, "The next show is in 5 minutes!" She then makes everyone sit and watch her shows. LOL They only last about a min, but are very cute.

Saturday, they had the NJ Pet Expo at the fair grounds and Mom's bird club was there so we went to see. She had to do a little speech and had brought her Cockatoo with her. I ended up holding him most of the time. He's the only one of her birds that I can hold and not fear that he'll take my face off. LOL I found out later that some chick was taking pics of me with him for the paper. Check out the Daily Record folks, I may be in there! I looked in yesterday's paper, but didn't see it. After the expo, we took Mom out to Pub 517 (it's the sister restaurant to Pub 199 for you locals) for a Mother's Day dinner. It's in a much prettier setting but has the same food and same prices. Mom and I had lobster and steamers! YUM!!! Not that I could eat it all. I ended up eating about a dozen steamers and a claw of the lobster. LOL I took the other claw home and gave Mom the tail. It was Good Eats!

Mother's Day Sunday, I woke up to John basically throwing a plate at me that had a scrambled egg on it and a piece of toast. He was all pissy and said the kids were driving him nuts. He wasn't feeling good and that's all I was getting. I said, what about all the other stuff I bought? The bacon? The croissants? The hashbrowns? The cinnamon rolls? Nope, he didn't feel like cooking all that. So eat what I had and like it. I was so upset! I started crying, said, "I can't believe you! I had to go out and buy this stuff myself and you can't even cook it for me on Mother's Day?" WTF........

Then I REALLY woke up!!! It was all a bad dream LOLOLOLOL John walked in with a silver platter! Holding all the yummy things I had purchased and a steaming cup of coffee. He set me all up and then went back down with the kids to give me time to eat in peace. Then a little later he and the kids joined me in bed and we watched a movie together. It was very nice! Later in the day, we all got dolled up and went to a play at the local playhouse. The were doing the Never Ending Story. It was so good. The kids really enjoyed it. I had a great time. We stopped at the movie store to rent The Neverending Story so the kids could see it, but they only made it through about a half hour before they were passing out. We'll finish it tonight.

All in all, it was a great day.

Today I have an unemployment meeting (joy) and then I'm meeting an old co-worker/friend for lunch. She hasn't seen me post-surgery, so this should be fun! LOL I love the shocked look on peoples faces when they see me. Oh, I took some pics of me and the kids yesterday when we were all dressed up. John had to run to get his phone fixed, so I took the kids out on the front porch for a photo shoot. And the sweetest thing..... A women actually pulled over on the road and asked if I would like her to take a picture of all of us together. How sweet is that!?! The chick has some serious good karma! I didn't take her up on it (I didn't want her to have to waste her time and I was just taking some silly pics), but still!!! Too nice. I'll put them on here as soon as I can. The dress I'm wearing in the pictures, I found in my closet. It's a size 20, but it's the only dress I had and thank God it was a tie back. There is so much material in the back, it looks pleated!! LOL Plus I had to pin the cleavage together. Hey, it worked in a pinch! I really have to go buy a little black dress for just in case moments like these. BTW, if anyone fits in a 20 and would like the dress I'm wearing, let me know, it's yours! It's really comfy and pretty.

Ok, that's it for now, must go shower.

I was reminded last night that I have been seriously shirking my blogging duties, so I thought I'd send out an update. It's been soooo crazy here, I can't even tell you.

So, I was supposed to spend last weekend in Florida, house hunting. I didn't go. About a week before I was to leave, Shelly (my best friend) came over to spend some quality time. (That "impending move" sadness) We were even working out having her come down with me. As the kids ran around the house playing, we talked. Then she asked why we didn't just rent in NJ. I explained that it was too expensive. We looked at some listings on the internet and somehow the conversation got turned to buying a house, which we obviously can't do since our credit is so screwed and the bank is about to take this one away. So out of the blue, she says, what if we buy a house and you can rent from us..... WHAT??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Tim would never go for that. She said, Hell, it's worth a shot. She called him and explained and do you know, he said yes. Just like that, Sure, why not. SHOCK!!! I can't even tell you how I felt. How nice it was too have friends who love you that much.

So we started scouring the internet looking for something cheap enough. We enlisted Rich to do his realtor duties and get us into some houses. We did a few days worth of drive bys. The first one we went into wasn't horrible, but it needed a ton of work, not to mention the underground oil tank that looked like it had liquid in it (not a good thing).

The second one... whoooo boy. It was a decent house, and a really nice piece of property. Not in the best area, but beggars can't be choosers. So anyway, we go to the house, knock on the door and someone answers.... no one speaks english, ok, no big deal. We walk in to see/hear a SCREAMING little naked boy (ok, so he had on undies, but the little speedo type so naked is a good call) He was running through the house, screaming and throwing cars across the floor, at windows and I may have ducked once. Then the smell hit us smack in the face. They had just cooked dinner which was some sort of .... uh.... ??food?? I'm not sure. It was a big mass of brown liquidy stuff on a plate with some beans floating in it. I don't know, but it smelled awful. We go into the bedroom to find a bed, into another bedroom to find 2 more beds. Then upstairs to find a lot more beds, 1 guy, 3 women and 4 kids. Ok. It wasn't to bad, needed work, but it was alright. We thought we'd go look in the basement to check plumbing and so forth. The only access is from bilco doors on the outside. Rich opens the doors, walks down the stairs, opens the main door and SURPRISE!! There's people down there. There were like 4 more beds and 3 or 4 more guys down there. IMMIGRATION!!!!! Holy cow. If that wasn't bad enough, someone was upstairs taking a shower and ALL the water was pouring directly down into the basement into a make-shift bucket that was overflowing onto the floor. NICE! This property had a small garage that we couldn't get in, a two car garage that was packed with crap including a large construction machine thingy and then a shed in the back that was stacked almost to the ceiling with garbage, like actual garbage. YUCK

It's so much fun looking at houses. Cause no matter how bad you think your house is, there's always one worse!

We now have our eye on a place in Dover. It's vacant (THANK GOD!), it's old and needs some work but not nearly as bad as the other two. Aunt Irene, it's like our old Dover house with the walk up attic made into bedrooms and then the actual attic off one of them. It's got a fenced in yard and is on a much nicer street. So, right now we're waiting for the mortgage chick to get back to Shell on all the financing stuff. Cross your fingers everyone. Cause if we don't find something soon.... we'll be knocking on your door with suitcases in hand. HA LOL (Sooooo not kidding!)

We had someone come look at our house on Friday, he then came back on Sunday and the realtor told me he really liked it and would probably be putting in an offer this week. Still no word on that. Ho hum, I'm really hoping this house sells instead of foreclosing. That would make it a lot easier for us to get out of the hole.

On some really happy news.... I am a GREAT AUNT!! Cassy had her baby on Saturday, April 25th at 12:19am. She was lucky to have our genetics. She had barely any labor pains and went only an hour and a half from the time it started with her water breaking to pushing him out. No drugs, to ripping or tearing. The doctor didn't even make it, he was delivered by the nurses. Madden James was 6lbs, 9oz and 19in long. YAYAY

Isn't he cute!! I can't tell who he looks like. I think he's a daddy's boy at this point. But he's so tiny, we'll have to wait until he gets some meat on his bones to really tell. Sooooo cute.

So that's where we're at right now. Still up in the air, but STAYING IN NEW JERSEY!! Woo HOOooo!! Cross all your fingers and toes, say a prayer to God or Ala or whomever, do a fire dance, I don't care, just send us some good vibes people!!

I just made the best Beef Barley Soup EVER!! And of course it was a total accident like most of my food.

I made a pot roast for dinner. Did the normal deal with that, floured and seasoned the meat, shoved some garlic into it, seared it with oil, added water half way up and threw a lid on it. Oh, I threw in a couple beef bouillon cubes in it too. An hour or so later, I tasted the broth and it was very bland so I added salt, pepper and some garlic salt. A while later I added chopped onion, fresh tomatoes and carrots. Let it finish cooking. When it was done there was a ton of liquid left so I went to make gravy with it. Added some flour but as it was thickening, I was thinking of soup. So I didn't let it get to thick.

When dinner was over, I took all the left over meat, chopped it up, threw in all the left over carrots, added a half a bag of barley and some more water. I then turned the stove back up and walked away. Uhmmmm and forgot about it. OOOPPSSS. Hee hee hee. When the kids came in for the meds/vitamins at bed time, I walked into the kitchen and said, OH CRAP!! I ran over to it and discovered that unstirred barley burns to the bottom of the pan. Ooops again. So I dumped it into another pot and scrapped the unburnt layer off the bottom of the pan and put it in the other. I stirred and tasted and WAAPOW!! IT WAS AWESOME! HA, gotta love oopses. I'll have to make sure to burn it every time I make it now. Hee hee, or maybe just figure out how to make it taste like that without burning it. Oh man, that's so much harder.

Picked up the kids from my inlaws today (they slept over last night) and took them to the park. I ran home and got the bat and ball and we played that for a while. I climbed through all the playground and even went down the slide (it was nice to fit on it). We had a good day.

Last night while the kids were at grandma and grandpa's, John and I went with the gang to a tricky tray. It was lots of fun. We won a bunch of games and a basket of italian food, pasta, sauces, dipping oil. Yummo!

(Sorry, jumping around on times here)

On the way to drop the kids off, we were chatting in the car and I can't remember what exactly was said (mommy brain) but my dear, sweet daughter ... Something was said about "10 years ago" and Calli says "10 years ago? That's when the dinosaurs were here, isn't it Mamma?" Oh my lord in heaven, Yes honey, I used to ride the dinosaurs to work every day. Those damn things crapped everywhere and were so loud. Not to mention that you had to keep them from eating you on the way. Oh boy, I'm old!

Can you imagine what it will be like when our kids have kids? I mean, so much has changed in just my life time. Our kids don't know what a black and white tv is, or what it's like to GET UP to change the 13 channels you had to choose from. They don't know what a rotary dial telephone is or how to go a day without a cell! They don't know what it's like to have no choice but to go outside and play cause there sure as hell wasn't anything to do in the house. They will never know the joy of sitting in the "way back" of the station wagon that has the roll down rear hatch window. (Thank God Mom never had an accident with us back there.) They wont know that computers were for rich people and even if you did have one, it was only really used for book keeping or typing letters since DOS didn't offer up easy game play. No internet, no cell phones, no IPods, no game systems. Just pure, unadulterated sunshine, air, a bike, or a bat and ball. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to go back to that, and then I reach from my cell to call and tell someone. HA I don't think so! Time marches on. What will this world look like in another 20 years. I can't even imagine.

Wow, I really rambled on there. hmmm interesting.