Damn The Weather Man!

Ok, One of these days the freaking weather men are going to get it right!! They called for 6-8 inches by this morning. Schools were delaying, stores were packed and I stayed up really late expecting no work or a delay. You wanna know what we had this morning? NOTHING!! A freaking dusting of mushy nothingness! So I had to get up, get Nick up and actually go out. DAMN DAMN DAMN I hate the weather man!

John's out of work again - ARG - (if you're reading this, you better get the hell off the computer and start calling for a job) I hate this. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I hate worrying if the bills will get paid. I hate getting yelled at because they aren't paid, or there's no food. I hate worrying if he'll have a job or not. I know things just aren't handed to you, but damnit, I've put in my time. Someone needs to hand me something. Even a little something. I'm tired of having to take care of everyone and no one taking care of me. I'm tired of hearing, It'll get better, things will change. Cause they haven't and they wont. It's a never ending cycle. And I either need to break the cycle or break his neck. I always said I was going to marry a really rich old man with a heart condition. Kill him off and then marry a poor man for love. I should've done that. Now I'm just poor and tired.

And if I hear, "I'm sorry, but.." one more time. I'm going to scream!!! Saying BUT after I'm sorry negates the appology!

Ok, venting over.. for now at least. It's sucks cause we're stealing internet at home right now and I know he's gonna read this and it's just gonna start another fight, but, whatever.

As for this week. It should be a long one. I have a lot of work to do. One good thing about him not having a job is I can work late to clean up everything. He's taking Nick to the dr. this afternoon. THANK GOD. Nick hasn't had his meds in a couple days. He scripts ran out and we missed his last appointment, so I knew she was gonna make us wait. Plus we have to change his meds a little bit. But other than that he's doing really well. You can definitely see that he needs the meds. He's so much more in control of himself with them. And although he's been off the wall, I know he could have been much worse, and I'm proud of him for holding it together.

Calli... Well, Callihan is Callihan. She's such a love bug. She'll be 4 in a couple of weeks, but she still wants to be held and cuddled all the time. Kisses galore. She's so funny. She'll hold my face and say, first I kiss then you kiss. I'm not allowed to pucker or anything. Just hold my face still and she'll kiss me. Then I get to kiss her. She's hysterical. And the faces she makes... kills me!! She's just a riot.

Oh... sad news. I found the parakeet dead this morning. The cat has had it's eye on him for quite a while. She figured out how to do a bounding leap-bounce off the fire place - and grab hold of the cage. I think last night... she completed her task. Either she clawed him, or just scared him to death, literally. Calli's gonna be heart broken. She loved that crazy little bird. I'm sure he's in birdy heaven, swinging on that big swing in the sky. :o(

Ok, off to do work... BLAHHHhhh