Why do we make New Year's resolutions? Has anyone ever actually followed through with one? What are the top ones?? Loose weight and quit smoking - Well, if you do both, you have to choose one or the other. Cause if you diet, you smoke more and if you quit smoking you eat more. How long do most people hold out on these? 1 week? 2? A month max. It's just not worth it at all. It just breeds self doubt and loathing. A resolution is made for those people who can't remember dates. Like saying I quit smoking May 13th. No one will remember that... but they can remember the first day of the year so we'll just use that. Silliness!
So that said, ... I'm going to quit smoking tomorrow. Now Now Now... Don't get the wrong idea. It is NOT a resolution. I just need to quit smoking and all my smoking friends will be around tonight. You can't quit when all your friends are around smoking! It's not possible! So tomorrow I will end the struggle with nicotine! Yay me. I'm only doing it for 2 reasons.. 1 - we're poor and it's freaking expensive! 2 - because if the "really good thing" pans out, I don't want to be smoking cause then I'll smoke too much. It has nothing to do with all that "your health" crap. BAH! I like smoking.. I ENJOY SMOKING. I will truly miss my friend the ciggy butt. But we must part ways. And it's not about the "second hand smoke to the kids" either. PLEASE, I grew up around smokers. I survived. And we at least don't smoke in the house. Grandma used to have a cigarette burning in every ash tray in the house at one time so she could go from room to room. Farewell good friend. You will be missed.
What happens to all the left over pumpkins in the pumpkin patch?
Do butterflies fly south for the winter?
Who comes up with all the names for the colors in the crayola box?
Will the kids notice if I don't save every piece of artwork they make? Or will they laugh at me for saving any at all?
What happened to the Rubber Band Man?? I love that guy!
Why weren't people made to be nocturnal?
On that note...Do vampires really exist?
If all the clocks in the world stopped at the same time - would time stop?
Why can't they make a 3 day work week?
Why can't real life be like a romance novel. Where it's always hot, always perfect and always has a happy ending. Plus, the fat chick gets the Adonis in my novel!
Why can't they make an artificial christmas tree that actually looks like a real tree? (and costs under $1,000)
Who decided post-its should be yellow?
Why are Froot Loops not spelled Fruit Loops? Do they not know that impressionable children read the boxes?
And finally - Why do people from the south say WE have an accent? We don't have any accent - we speak bland and flat. THEY have the accents!
Happy New Year Ya'll!!!
2 comments:
Happy New Year! I want to quit too! Maybe I'll try tomorrow if I can get hubby on board. I have better things to spend my money on. And I will diet at the same time just to prove you wrong. It will last 12 weeks, because that is what a session of Body for Life takes. See you tonight!
LOL you are a riot! Good luck on teh quitting smoking, and I can't wait to hear if that thing pans out!! Happy New Year's to you too, and try not to be tooo bad tonite LOL
HUGS
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