How to Make Friends and Influence People

Anyone know? Cause I sure don't.

This is going to be a very self depricating post. Beware. Just skip this one if you don't want to hear me bitch and moan.

I seem to have issues with keeping friends. I realized that this weekend. I thought I had a large group of friends.. but what I actually have is friends of friends. When I had called to see if people were coming to the fireworks they all said they had other parties to go to. Ok, no problem. Have fun! Then I thought... wait...uhm, no one has invited us to a party. What the hell? They all had "friends" that said, Hey, we're having a get together, come on over. We don't have that. Why?

I'm not really sure. I've never had a lot of friends. In grade school I was the weird girl that was taller than everyone else. I was also very loud and probably a bit obnoxious. I liked all the kids, and most of them were nice to me, but never had that "group of friends". I had one good friend for about a year and she was a new girl that was only there a year. I was in a very small school. I went with the same kids from kindergarten to 8th grade. Our graduating class was all of 60 kids. In middle school I kind of hung with the boys. But when I think back, in all my years I never hung with anyone outside of school.

I was never invited to sleepovers. I was never invited to parties. I played by myself, with my sisters (ha when they weren't trying to make me eat grass) or I was hanging out at my mom's beauty shop. What the hell was wrong with me?

In high school I had to start a new school because my mom got married to an ass and we moved. I remember my first day of school standing at the door to the lunch room and deciding to each lunch in the bathroom for the next four years. By then I had gotten fat. So not only was I the new kids, but I was the FAT new chick. Luckily the lunch lady made me go in and introduced me to a couple of girls. I did make a couple of friends in high school. But never the "cool kids". I was always with the "others".

After high school.... I didn't really have anyone. Thank God for my Mommy. I didn't really have any friends until I moved back from my short stint in VA. I was introduced to the new neighbors daughter. Although 5 or 6 years younger than me, we got along well. We were friends for about 9 years. Then I stupidly introduced her to a friend I had made a work, they became friends and dumped me in the dirt. All the other friends I had during that time were "her friends".

I hooked up with someone from that last friend time a few years ago. And we've become very close. But it's really hard because they have a lot of friends and always have things going on with them. I can't say, no pay attention to me! LOL We'll, I could, but that wouldn't be very nice. Not to mention that with gas prices the way they are it's kind of expensive to go down there all the time. Plus dragging the kids out at ungodly hours is a pain. And they don't like coming up here. Their house is a focal point and all their friends live around them so it's easy to have everyone go there. We're in the freaking boonies, so it's a hike. John doesn't get it. He says, well if they can't come why not invite this person and this person. I try to explain to him that they are THEIR friends. Not ours. They don't want to come up here. It's like the old friend. They hang with us because we're with them. That's all. Friend of a friend.

John never had a lot of friends either. He has a couple that have lasted many years (more than I can say). One that's been around since he was a teenager. We stupidly made that same mistake again and introduced him to people we know that were our neighbors. I like them, but they drink wayyyyyy to much and that's not my thing. The same thing happened again and he's been with them all the time and bailing out on John. I'm sure it wont be a complete blow off, but when you invite someone to come up for years and years and they make one or two trips, invite them to stay over for that time and they never do for this reason or that and now he's up here almost every day with the other guy fishing and hanging out and actually sleeping in a tent@!!@!@!! It just doesn't seem right.

I know I'm venting, but this seems to be an issue I've always had. I know I can be loud, obnoxious, overbearing.. whatever, I like to be in charge. Someone has to run my life, it might as well be me. But I've never had a problem with people TELLING me I'm all those things. I have no problem with people putting me in my place. I have a problem with people blowing me off or not saying anything and just being mad and my not knowing what's going on. I just don't get that.

I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to meet new people. Where do you go as an adult? I can't meet people at work because I work from home. John drives a tractor trailer. Not really easy to stop and a light and say, "Will you be my friend?" I wouldn't want to meet people at a bar because 1. It's expensive to go to a bar, and 2. those are all people who drink, which we don't. We don't do church. We don't really have any hobbies. I'm at a loss.

I'd like to meet some other couples who have kids and live close enough that we can get together on the weekends. Do alternating houses maybe. Let the kids play and have bbq's and little parties. Have people to go camping with or find fun activities to do with the kids. I also need people who can handle my kids. Or I should say Nick. Although he's much better, it's still hard. I've been told, we would invite you but we can't have the kids, there's too much stuff that could be broken or whatever. That's really hard on me. People who like me, my husband AND my kids. That would be great.

I guess John and I just have to learn to like each other even more cause we are what we have. Maybe eventually we'll move to some little mid west town and have lovely neighbors. I'll join the PTA and John can be the baseball coach. Something like that. I don't know.

Ok, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I hope no one takes offense to any of this. It's not like I can spare any of the friends I do have. I probably shouldn't even post this, but hell... I have nothing else to write about. The weekend was a bust. Mom and Pop came for the fireworks and that was it. We watched them in the rain (just a sprinkle really) and it's been cloudy and gross. They did fireworks again last night, but again, it was just us. Nothing really exciting or interesting to talk about. Sorry folks.